I thought about Feng Xuekun again.
After hesitating for a long time, I still didn’t call him.
My status is too embarrassing.
If I play well, I become friends with him.
If I play poorly, I will kill myself.
It’s too dangerous and complicated. , I don’t dare to play like that yet.
I simply ate hot soup noodles with Wan Niang.
I didn't want Wan Niang to see that I had no money, so I said I would go back to the place where I lived to get the money and give it to her later, telling her not to worry.
You must exercise regularly, but Wan Niang is very worried.
After all, she has recovered a lot, and some things can be seen through at a glance.
When I left, her face was not very good, and she didn't eat a few bites of noodles.
I walked around the street for a long time and saw many job postings, so I went in to inquire.
I asked two restaurants and several clothing sellers, but they were all very inappropriate.
The clothes seller only has 600 yuan a month regardless of food.
When the monthly salary is paid, the salary has to be paid every other month.
Moreover, after two months, my stomach is showing, and I can’t work anymore.
I can only earn 1,200 yuan in two months.
If you don’t care about eating, the days ahead will be even more difficult.
Although working in the restaurant can solve the problem of eating for Wan Niang and I.
I know, it’s not like I’ve never done it before.
It’s very tiring.
I have to go in and out to serve guests, carry dishes and wash dishes.
The working hours are very long.
I can’t bear it anymore.
There is also the fact that even if I have a new identity, I am still a wanted criminal.
How can I show my face like this?
Subconsciously, I had placed a lot of hopes on Huo Hanyu before, and I didn't have such a deep concept of money.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have gotten to this point before starting to think of a solution.
At that time, I suddenly understood more clearly that in this life, I, Lorna, really have no chance of relying on others for my life, and if I do, it is only temporary.
I have a feeling that I am my nemesis.
Before I was with Wan Niang, the family was like this.
Not long after I was with Wan Niang, Wan Niang was like this.
Not long after I was with Huo Hanyu, Huo Hanyu almost died.
In the evening, when I passed by the only small karaoke bar in the nearby suburbs, I stopped and looked at the shining neon light on the plaque.
I was fascinated.
Thinking about the days I spent with men in the past, I naturally wanted to leave, but thinking about the situation, I could get paid the same night I started working, and if I worked for a month, I might be able to earn enough money to have a baby later.
Thinking of this, I sighed and touched my belly, "Little one, is it the right time to come?
You can't wait until your mother and I are developed."
Yeah, it’s not like I’ve never done it before I gritted my teeth, turned around, went home, put on heavy makeup, and briefly touched my hair with hairspray.
My short hair instantly became bright and three-dimensional, and my head was full of the smell of hairspray.
It smells so bad.
I changed into a dress that showed off my shoulders and legs, and wore sandals without high heels.
I just stepped on flip-flops and came out.
When I came out, I met Wang Liang.
Wang Liang knew that I wanted to go to work.
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I was very unhappy, but I didn’t argue with me.
I couldn’t even support a few of them.
They almost borrowed next month’s salary and spent it in advance before their wages were paid this month.
When we returned to the entrance of this small karaoke hall, it was already dark.
Now that I think about it, I think more rationally.
I don’t want to give myself too many excuses and make people pity me for how miserable and helpless I am in choosing this profession, and then sympathize with me in various ways.
I admit that at that time, I had a certain fact besides some oppression and pressure from reality.
It's just that subconsciously, after staying in that situation for three years, some of those feelings have penetrated deeply into my heart, but they haven't reached the point where they have penetrated into my bones.
When a person has been in a certain environment for a long time and can get money quickly because of that industry, the first impression in his subconscious mind will be that job.
Because some of the boundaries in my heart have long been overcome by previous experiences.
That boundary was overcome.
It’s not about self-respect or shame, so I can stick to it.
It doesn’t look like I’ve never done this before.
Just like once, when I didn't have to pay off my debts, Huang Ying asked me if I wanted to do this again.
My answer is I don't know.
I don't think it's shameful to admit this fact.
I'm such a frank person.
I am not a god and will not be contaminated by the secular world.
Even in order to survive, I have long been a chameleon.
I am not the character in novels and TV series who is full of aura of steadfastness and integrity.
If I pull it out, I will never come back.
I am not even contaminated at all.
I am a real person.
How can I not be contaminated at all?
If I feel ashamed of this, then my heart is as fragile as it was when I was eighteen years old.
So many strong winds and waves.
I simply can't bear it or bear it.
I'm growing too.
In short, I admit that I entered this situation again, not only because of the force of reality, but if I really lived and died, I would not enter this situation again.
Even if I kneel down on the roadside begging for food, I can survive, right?
If I lose some principles and deceive those children into giving me some money every month, I can still survive, right?
I know that many people will curse me if I admit this fact like this.
I would rather say that I am just forced by reality and find more reasons and excuses.
Although practical reasons really accounted for most of it.
I couldn't go to the roadside with Wan Niang to kneel down and beg for food.
I couldn't lose my principles and bully those children.
The only thing I can stick to is another bottom line that has not been conquered before, not to sell my body and keep my heart clean.
After briefly introducing myself to the owner of the small karaoke bar, I went straight to work.
I also told him that I can't drink recently and I have a stomach problem and I'm getting injections.
He also said it doesn't matter.
The customers here don't have much to do because the table fee is also low.
Unlike big places where they pay more and ask for more, the customers always feel like they are...
The more you spend, the more the other party will pay.
I'm a little disappointed with the low channel fee.
The guarantee is 80.
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It's twenty yuan less than other small karaoke bars.
The boss naturally wants to attract business by doing this, and ordinary customers don't care about the twenty yuan.
I'll give you one hundred, this boss is quite good at doing business.
There is no manager, no mommy, and no foreman in the small karaoke bar.
It is just the boss and the boss's wife who work together.
Naturally, there will be a lot of trouble in such a small place, so the boss is pretty solid.
It is said that he also knows some people in the society and comes to make trouble.
A group of people called to make trouble, and Bai also had some contacts.
He would settle the small quarrels.
He was also a character with a small background, but judging from the small size of the karaoke bar, the background was just that, and there shouldn't be anything.
Backed by big shots.
The atmosphere has changed in the past two years, and the boss seems to be very protective of the girl.
He told me if I have anything to say to him, and he won't let the customers bully me.
Let me work hard here, you are very polite to me There won't be any big shots coming to this kind of occasion, so I don't have to worry too much.
When choosing a station, no names were called.
The only two waiters just yelled to choose a station, and the girls ran out of the small lounge like crazy.
I was completely stunned.
I followed behind.
I don’t know how many times I couldn’t squeeze into the small private room.
I even said that I couldn’t even enter the private room.
All selected It's a shame.
There are no rules at all.
I thought I would quickly pick a table, sit down, take the money and leave.
I have to adapt to the environment of this small karaoke bar.
It is said that the guests are different from those in large nightclubs.
There's another thing that satisfies my little vanity.
None of the girls here are as good-looking as me.
Unlike Wu Li's nightclub, I can only be regarded as average.
That's probably why the boss is so polite to me.
But I heard that there is also a red card here.
She is prettier than me, but she is very arrogant every day.
If the customers and the boss don’t call her, she won’t come.
She hasn’t come yet today.
Several private rooms were quickly filled up, and the remaining three or four ladies were playing cards in the small lounge.
I was a little annoyed with the cigarette in my mouth.
I walked to the window and opened it to smell the fresh air outside.
One of the characters, who looked like a big sister, was a little unhappy and said, "Hey, what's your name and how did you get here?
The stage fee here is 80, you'd better do it somewhere else."
I know, she can see that I will definitely steal their customers and business.
I turned around with a flat mouth and a smile, "If you go too far, I'll stop working after two months.
Don't worry, it won't affect you at all."
Hearing my straightforwardness, the woman didn't say anything, and since the boss was outside, she didn't dare to drive me away too openly.
I continued to look out the window until the sharp, womanly voice of the elder sister came from behind me again, "Tongtong is here, but someone is coming to compete with you for a job."
This is again sowing discord.
Shouldn't it be so obvious?
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I thought so.
I can make a lot of money.
Who in this small place has either a bad mind or average appearance and can't compete.
There are still people who would rather be a chicken head than a chicken head.
Phoenix tail "Really?"
Tongtong's voice was a little hoarse, and he seemed to be eating something.
He walked up behind me and patted me on the shoulder.
I had to turn around and face the pillar here head on.
Before I could see her clearly, she actually called my name, "You are Lorna":