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Chapter 122: I Want to Kill


When I saw this, I was stunned.

I thought I was dazzled.

How could it be like this?

I turned back to the previous two pages to read.

Yes, Huo Hanyu’s notes, what Huo Hanyu recorded about me How could this happen?

I knew about Canghu before Huo Hanyu, and it was as if I had broken the whole situation.

I remember it very clearly, I didn’t, I didn’t know, I didn’t know anything, I just wanted to be good.

Be steady by his side.

My head hurts so much, I really don’t want to believe certain realities.

I couldn't hold back the tears.

When I saw Qiao Sa sleeping soundly next to my bed, I instinctively put my arm to my mouth and bit it.

I bit it painfully and didn't think about it, but it still appeared in my mind.

Some fragmented pictures, those pictures don’t seem to belong to me, but they seem to be me.

I bit Huo Hanyu's arm hard enough to draw blood, and I sucked hard, as if I wanted to drain his blood.

Thinking that when I woke up yesterday, I found that Yutong's handkerchief was wet, and Wang Liang said that the tears were mine, I seemed to have to believe it.

No, no, I still don't believe it Some cruel feelings.

It's not that I can't bear it, it's him.

How did the man who loved me bear it?

I'm a little confused.

I don't even hope it's true.

It might not be true.

He must have written it down in a dream.

My head hurts.

"Ah" I yelled and fainted.

When I woke up again, the notebook was gone, and Qiao Sa was standing beside my bed, looking at me with a smile, as if she had slept enough, and her face looked much better.

"Lorna, do you want to eat something when you wake up?"

"How long have I been sleeping?"

I asked her the first thing I said.

"Three hours."

"Where's my husband?"

I got up and looked at her with pleading eyes, eager for her to give me an answer.

The sky outside the window was filled with sunset and it was almost dark again.

"Let's go for a walk."

Qiao Sa pushed the wheelchair over.

"If you don't want to walk, sit down and I'll push you out to see the scenery and the sunshine."

My hands were shaking a little.

I don’t know why.

I listened to Qiao Sa’s words.

The baby in my belly is very important to me.

I want a daughter for him.

I don't want my mistakes or my emotions to affect this child's fate.

I seem to understand too much, but I really don’t dare to think about it.

I was pushed to the lawn of the hospital by Qiao Sa, and I saw that all the patients coming and going were accompanied by their families.

What was particularly eye-catching was the pregnant woman with her considerate and caring husband.

Qiao Sa subconsciously stopped my gaze, "Lona, are you tired?

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Go back.

It's getting cold and there's no sun."

She pushed me back to the ward and lay on the bed.

Probably because there was no disinfectant smell outside, I felt sad and wanted to vomit when I came in.

I vomited into the trash can for a while, and then I suddenly realized that my notebook was missing.

It seemed like my fate, "Where is the notebook?"

Qiao Sa didn't say a word, a little embarrassed.

"Stop looking, it's almost over."

"Are you afraid that I can't stand it?

Are you afraid that I can't stand it?

Why did you show it to me?"

I was very excited.

"I want you to face it, but you can't, and you fainted again."

Qiao Sa was also very excited, but tried her best to restrain her voice, "We are friends."

"We are not friends, I am just your patient."

I cried, unable to control my crying, and said this sentence for no reason.

When I said this, my heart felt so uncomfortable, and I didn't know how to bear it.

He was not here, and I knew I couldn't bear it.

Qiao Sa was speechless.

Apart from passing me tissues and looking at me quietly, she seemed to be unable to do anything else.

She could do it but didn't dare to do it.

Certain things still required my decision.

I felt distressed and touched my stomach.

"Give me the notebook."

Qiao Sa had to take the notebook out of her bag and return it to me, "I'll stay with you."

I didn't object or speak out, just let her sit beside me.

I opened my notebook and looked for the page I just saw When I saw Lorna, I felt like I was seeing a weak little girl.

When I heard her voice returning to her childhood, my heart broke.

I really wanted to hug her, but when I approached her, she really wanted to see a demon.

"Don't come here," she yelled, looking so terrifying that people couldn't accept it, and she was grabbing her own hair with both hands like a frenzy.

I forcibly picked her up and carried her back to the room, hugging her to comfort her.

She hated my arm and bit it.

I felt pain, but this pain was far less than the pain in my heart.

The tip of my nose was sore, and my eyes suddenly became blurry with tears.

I have a bad feeling.

She has been suffering from stress for a long time.

She has not had a good environment since she was a child.

Over time, she will suffer from mental problems.

She was still pregnant, how did I just find out.

People are all fragile, and no one can bear too many things, especially Lorna.

She has always felt that she is strong and great.

In the eyes of outsiders, she has never been a good woman.

I am entirely responsible for her getting to where she is today.

How I wish that I am the one suffering at this moment, why am I the one who is awake?

She almost bit off a piece of flesh on her arm.

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She finally fell asleep, and I took the medicine kit to bandage myself.

When she woke up the next day, sure enough, she didn't know what happened to my arm, and asked me, "I was hurt."

She was very nervous.

"You're not at home all the time" "Ah, I accidentally scratched it, it's okay."

I forced a smile, my smiling face froze, my eyes couldn't help but moisten, but I couldn't shed tears.

I quickly turned around and left.

I was afraid that her sharp eyes would notice that I was in a bad mood, "I'll make you breakfast and let you have a taste of my craftsmanship."

I made an omelette and it looked ugly, so I threw it away and fried it again.

I didn't dare to call her until I thought the appearance was okay.

Wan Niang made porridge, but she didn't know the situation, and she was still teasing me, becoming more and more cool.

It turns out that she has nothing to dissatisfy with me.

But I am not satisfied with myself.

"I don't know why, I'm so tired lately."

Luo Na suddenly said this.

I couldn't help but ask her, "When did I start feeling tired?"

"These days."

Lorna lowered her head and responded softly.

"You're pregnant, how can you not be tired?"

Wan Niang naturally didn't think so much.

She was always very busy sleeping at night.

"Yes, thank you for your hard work, wife."

I gave her the omelette, "Try it, I made it."

"You're not the first person to do this to me."

Lorna couldn't help but feel angry at me.

I knew she was talking about Wang Hui.

I was not angry, but very happy.

Whatever she said when she was happy made me happy, at least she said it.

I didn’t know what to do, so I claimed that there was something going on at the company, and asked Wan Niang to accompany Luo Na.

After sending Qi Jun to school, I went to the hospital and prepared to find someone to ask about the situation.

Without any hesitation, I directly chose the psychiatry department.

But after listening to some of my descriptions, the psychiatrist directly recommended to me a former colleague of hers who now works in a psychiatric hospital and is a professional in treating this convenient disease.

It feels so scary when you walk into a mental hospital.

It seems like everyone except the doctor is not a normal person.

No, the doctors don't look fucking normal either.

I didn't go to the doctor right away.

Instead, I walked around and saw some patients going crazy and being taken away for forced injections.

I saw some people being locked in the ward and knocking on the door constantly.

I saw some people playing hide and seek in the grass.

Forty-year-old face, dirty look, innocent smile like a child I feel like I'm going to collapse.

"It's time to take medicine."

The little nurse was very busy chasing a young man around, holding a medicine bottle in his hand and speeding past me.

I almost fainted However.

What I didn't expect was that I met Qiao Sa.

Qiao Sa's eyes widened in excitement when she saw me, "Why is it you?"

She was happy to meet again, but I was not at all in the mood to meet an old friend again.

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She poured me tea and pushed almost all patient arrangements to the afternoon, as if she was ready for a long conversation.

"I didn't expect to meet like this."

I was speechless when I saw her name tag.

"Aren't you mentally ill?"

"It's just history."

Qiao Sa's smile was natural and confident.

“It can be cured” is important to me.

"The current medical level is very difficult."

Qiao Sa said bluntly, "I can't guarantee that I am a completely normal person now, but I know how to stop myself from having that mentality."

My heart sank a little, "How should I treat it?"

"Your condition is quite good, quite normal."

Qiao Sa suddenly said this.

This surprised me and I couldn't accept it anymore, "What do you mean?

I'm also fucking mentally ill.

Give you a chance and tell me again."

I really want to kill someone

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