It's so easy, it's so easy to express the tangle in my heart.
Jingxuan hugged her and hurriedly left the imperial city, his steps staggering a little.
Maybe his expression was strange, and the servants who saw them on the palace road all looked surprised.
Her body was light and airy.
Meili breathed in the cold air of the first month and listened to his heartbeat that was obviously faster than usual.
She didn't know whether this was the most confused moment in her life or the most sober.
"Jingxuan."
She called him.
This was the first time in her life that she directly called him by his name.
He trembled and even paused in his steps.
"You owe me and Yunke all these years."
She snuggled softly into his arms and finally said this confidently.
"Meili" he was so sad when he called her in a low voice.
"I've always been afraid of saying it out loud.
You think I'm just quibbling to deceive you because of Yun Ke.
I'm desperate now, Jingxuan.
I just want to be willful again."
"Meili" he interrupted her tremblingly, the words she said made him so scared and heartbroken.
He couldn't stand it.
"Jingxuan, if you feel you owe me, then fulfill my wish."
She looked at him with a sweet and stubborn smile.
He stopped.
This was the expression of the girl Meili.
He thought he would never see her again in this life.
Unable to see.
"Say."
He looked straight at her, actually wishing that time would stop and the world would be destroyed, so that he could keep her.
"I want to be your common wife, and Yunke wants to be your heir apparent."
Behind the smile, there was despair that both he and she understood.
This tone, this mood was so familiar to her.
It was like a long, long time ago when she hugged his waist tightly, knowing that he hated to turn around and look at her, but she still refused to let go and pressed against his back to make him promise: "Jingxuan Brother likes Meili, okay?
I’ll just love Meili for the rest of my life, okay?”
Her wish for him never came true.
"Jingxuan, can you fulfill my wish for once in this life?
My wish?"
She looked at him, but her eyes focused on the dark spot deep in his black eyes.
His heart was crushed to pieces by her pleading.
He wanted to agree, wanted to say yes to her without hesitation, not because he was her only man, not because Yun Ke was really his son.
Perhaps these things no longer seemed so important in the years that had passed.
However, he realized at this moment that he had never fulfilled any of her wishes, any of them.
But he really couldn't give her a clear answer.
His hesitation made her close her eyes.
In fact, before every time she asked him for a wish, she knew better than anyone else that it would be impossible to realize the wish she made to him every time, and it would only increase her despair.
He carried her all the way to the carriage and ordered the guards and maids to escort her back to the house.
Before leaving, he also got into the carriage and held her in his arms.
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"Meili, no matter what, I'm going to give it a try.
I'm going to work hard for you once."
Her heart suddenly throbbed.
As if he didn't want to face her answer, he quickly got out of the carriage and disappeared into the dark palace passage.
She opened the curtain and looked in the direction where he disappeared.
He said he would give it a try for her.
Lying on the warm quilt in her room, Meili stared at the flames of the copper lamp standing at the foot of the bed.
He has been gone for a long time.
Yun Ke came back from the palace and came to the room to play coquettishly for a while.
After making sure that his mother was fine, he followed his wet nurse back to the room with peace of mind.
It wasn't until noon the next day that Jingxuan walked straight into her bedroom from the outside with a livid face.
When he held her in his arms, her thin underwear could not withstand the chill coming from his court clothes.
His face was ugly, and she leaned in his arms meekly without struggling.
In fact, she already knew the result when he went.
No matter how great Prince Qing is, he is still a minister.
She understands Junwei more deeply than he does.
"Meili, just wait a moment."
He tightened his arms, "Believe me, one day, I will fulfill your wish."
She laughed silently, but one day, she was actually satisfied.
He no longer left her alone or sneered at her wishes.
The emperor issued an imperial edict and sent Jingxuan to Jiangnan on errands, setting off today.
Meili packed his luggage carefully.
She understood that he must have been very unhappy with the emperor, so serious that the emperor wanted to send him away, and she did not want to see him in the near future.
Suying's attitude also changed, from ignoring it to deliberately suppressing it.
When she learned that Jingxuan had asked the emperor to change his wife's status to an equal wife, she could no longer take it calmly.
In order to keep her position as the concubine, she gave up and tolerated not enough.
Now, Meili actually wants to take away the only thing she relies on.
It's impossible.
After the first lunar month, the emperor began to select suitable children from his close relatives as companions for the princes.
On the day he went to meet the master of the study, Yun Ke seemed a little excited.
Meili tidied up his appearance.
She had confidence in her son.
Yun Ke was even happier when he came back from the exam.
He told Meili that he had done a good job and his master also praised him repeatedly.
He will definitely be able to pass the test, and he will definitely be able to study with brother Yinzhen and see each other every day.
His joy is also her joy.
She even wanted to write a letter to Jingxuan who was far away in the south of the Yangtze River to let him share this happiness.
When the list of reading companions was announced, Yun Jue was selected, but Yun Ke was not selected.
Yun Ke was very depressed and stayed in the room and refused to see her.
Meili went to the palace to ask about the situation.
The eunuch in charge gave her a simple answer: Only the legitimate son of the clan is qualified.
Meili listened and didn't argue a word.
On the way back home, she remained silent.
She had already made up her mind when she got off the sedan chair.
First, go to Yunke's room to see him.
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After all, Yunke is a sensible and considerate child.
He no longer loses his temper, and even smiles and snuggles into her arms, saying to her: "Mom, Yunke is not sad anymore.
Even if I don’t study with Brother Yinzhen, I will study hard and learn as well as them."
Meili smiled and stroked his black braids and nodded.
What's the use of learning equally well?
When I was young, I was excluded from the circle of future leaders.
When I grow up, no matter how good I am, I am just a Baylor with an empty title, and I will never be able to grasp the power to realize my ambitions.
Just because he is a bastard Yue Mo also gave birth to a child and is now responsible for taking care of Yun Ke.
She was already mature, but years had tempered her to become more patient and meticulous.
She knew the unwillingness and pain in the hearts of the mother and son who were forced to smile.
She also smiled and came to pull Yunche, "Let the master rest, she is also tired."
Meili walked out of Yun Ke's room, then stopped and looked back.
Yue Mo was pouring water for Yun Ke, "Yue Mo" she called her.
"Slave is here.
Master, do you have any other instructions?"
Meili smiled, "Take good care of Yun Ke for me."
She doesn't dodge anymore, why should she feel guilty and short of breath?
She just wants to dress up and formally request to see the emperor.
What else did she worry about?
Yunke, like her, had nothing worth losing from the day he was born.
Kangxi watched in silence as Meili handed over the Eight Parts and Eight Formations diagram to the royal case.
He and she were the only ones in the entire study.
He raised his eyes and looked at Meili standing in front of the case.
She did not kneel down, nor did she lower her eyes.
He has never seen Meili like this.
"What's the point of taking this picture out now?"
He smiled sarcastically.
The formation diagram he had worked so hard to get had been hidden by her for so many years.
"Your Majesty, I'm not here to negotiate terms with you."
Meili looked directly into his eyes, which was already a crime of disrespect.
Kangxi just looked at her and said nothing.
Of course she is not qualified to negotiate terms.
After hiding this picture for so long, she shouldn't complain even if he killed her immediately.
"Your Majesty, Meili is here to beg you."
"Um" "Meili is begging you as a mother on behalf of her child."
Kangxi finally sighed, "Meili, I know that you have been wronged for so many years.
Jingxuan also said everything to me, but the emperor has the emperor's difficulties."
"Your Majesty."
She actually interrupted him, and Kangxi was stunned.
"Before the Lantern Festival banquet, I came to the back hall to present you with a picture, and I overheard the conversation between you and Zamulang."
She smiled.
Kangxi pursed his lips and said, "Since you know everything, why bother making unnecessary requests?
Even if Zamulang loses one day, I will not break the promise I made to him."
"Your Majesty, Meili heard it clearly.
You promised him to let Suying enjoy the honor of the royal concubine alone, and I will never cause you any difficulties."
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Kangxi frowned.
"I just beg you to make Yun Ke the crown prince.
Suying can enjoy all the honors alone, because a dead person can't compete with her.
You also became the legitimate son after your mother and concubine."
"Unbridled" Kangxi was angry.
"Brother Emperor, don't be angry with Meili.
Meili always makes you angry, but I won't do it anymore."
She tilted her head and smiled.
"Meili does not feel qualified to beg you because she presented the picture, but she is begging you with the feeling of a mother who is willing to die for her son."
"Meili" Kangxi dimmed his eyes.
He understood what she meant.
She wanted to become a royal concubine without breaking his promise to Zamulang.
She could only be granted a posthumous title.
He was deeply moved by Meili's care for the child.
His imperial grandmother, his mother, had sacrificed everything for him and the late emperor.
"Can you bear to leave Yun Ke behind?
Mother is irreplaceable to a child."
He, the Holy Emperor of the Qing Dynasty, was also a motherless person.
Meili shook her head and smiled, tears flashing in her eyes but refusing to fall, "There are many people who can fulfill the responsibility of caring for Yun Ke as a mother, but I am the only one who is willing to die for him
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