Ling Xiquan's mind went blank.For a moment, I thought it was my own hallucination.However, the strength of holding himself was so real, and he could faintly feel the powerful heartbeat coming from his chest.Plop, plop for a while, she couldn't tell the left and right, and couldn't tell whose heartbeat it was.What did he say together, Ling Xiquan froze, his eyes open and unblinked.Between the necks, there was a sudden rubbing of the other party's jaws, followed by a harder hug, and the boy's almost coaxing voice, "It's good" Of course, it's good.Since the second year of junior high school, she has liked him for almost nine years.But in the last second, it was clear that they were still making trouble.It was too sudden.No warning, no reason.Even the explanation is illusory.She opened her mouth, her throat was astringent, and called him, "Ye Qingting" "Hmm" "Do you remember how many times you rejected me" Feeling the boy holding him, "Have I ever rejected you" "Count, you rejected me three times. ”She broke free and wanted to withdraw from her embrace, but Ye Qingting didn't let her move, "You remember wrong." ”"I have a good memory."
She stared at the wall of the alley behind Ye Qingting with mixed tastes, the somewhat old cement wall was full of pitted marks, and she seemed to have fallen into an indescribable memory."
The first time, before you went to England, you knew what I was going to say, so you interrupted what I was going to say, but in fact, at that time, I just wanted you to know my heart, and I didn't want to leave any regrets.""
The second time, it was when you came back from the summer vacation and told me plainly that you know I like you, but we can't be together.""
The third time," she pursed her lips, "you're in England and I'm in America, and you told me it was fine that way, and you didn't want to be with me." ”In the end, it seemed that something moist was about to flow out of her eyes, and her voice was a little hoarse, "I am a person who loves face very much, and my self-esteem is also very strong, and sometimes I also think, why am I so stubborn, it is not enough to be rejected once or twice, and I can have the courage to accept it a third time." ”Ye Qingting suddenly interrupted her, "Look, Ling Xiquan, this is your problem, you listen to me, you never listen to half of it." ”He let go of his hand, and his light cold brown eyes looked directly into her eyes fixedly, "You know, there are some things, I want to tell you slowly, because I understand you, you are too insecure, I know what you want, I also want to give it to you, but not all at once, just like I said now that I want to be with you, but your heart is bottomless, and you are so flustered that you don't know how to respond, so you say these words." ”She was stunned."
I originally wanted you to get to know me slowly and understand my mind, and then everything will fall into place, so that you won't look like you're overwhelmed and scared like you are now."
His hand stroked her long hair, "I can give you all the security you want, but there are some things that you still need to figure out for yourself." ”There is undisguised tenderness in the beautiful eyes, as if you will be deeply immersed in it at a glance.It seemed that behind the veil that was always foggy, it was not as far away as she thought.She was a little caught off guard by what Ye Qingting suddenly said just now.Her heart is indeed bottomless.Maybe if you change a girl and suddenly receive a confession from the boy you like, you will be excited to accept it.But he was right.Even if it was a confession of courage when she was a child, it was also an impulse after she felt that he had the same heart as herself.Now, they're all grown up.She doesn't know what he's been doing in England over the years, she doesn't know what kind of person he's become, such an unknown is like a candy coated with poison, even if she still likes it in her heart, she doesn't know what posture to face this boy who can't guess and can't see through.She didn't act on purpose, but she was really afraid that such ignorance would be together without hesitation at this moment, and then one day in the future, they would suddenly separate.But let him say it so naturally, she was a little unwilling.So I couldn't help choking him, "For example, what you said when you were a child, take responsibility, and you said such high-sounding words to several people", "You are the only one." ”Ye Qingting was a little helpless, "Are you being right, so you deliberately found my fault" Seeing his helpless face, the feeling of uncertainty in his heart suddenly became a little more real."
Do I need to find fault with you," she said.Ye Qingting stretched out his hand again to straighten her face, "What I regret the most is what I said to you five years ago. ”"At that time, you just went to the United States, and you didn't know the place well, but you didn't learn to integrate, but you went online every day, and I was worried about you."
He sighed lightly, "At that time, I wasn't sure if what you said was out of loneliness in a foreign country, if so, what you need is not a boyfriend who can only chat on the Internet, but someone who can give you company and hugs." ”"I'm afraid that you take your commitment too seriously, and when you meet someone you like more in the future, you will feel sorry for me in your heart.But admittedly, at the time, I wasn't sure what I thought. ”He said softly, his eyes full of tenderness, "I haven't liked anything particularly since I was a child, but every time I see you, I always have a feeling of love that I can't put it down, this feeling is so strange, I don't know how long it will last, and I don't know if it's good or bad." ”"But you ignored me afterwards.""
After saying something like that, you ignored me, and I didn't dare to look for you again."
He smiled bitterly, not knowing what he thought, and a trace of caution crossed his eyes, "Later, I just think that as long as you live well, it will be fine." ”Ling Xiquan didn't think carefully about the second half of his words, but only furrowed his eyebrows slightly, "I think you are precocious than me." ”Ye Qingting smiled, "It may be precocious, it may be naïve, at that time I was envious of Xie You, he can like a person without any scruples, without thinking about any consequences." ”He paused for a moment and said, "But I've been like this since I was a child, I think about everything very clearly, and if I like someone, I want to be with her forever, otherwise I won't start." ”"You are like this, in fact, you are more extreme than Xie You.""
Maybe.At that time, I only felt that the heavens were joking, and every time I had the opportunity to get closer to you, what followed was separation, and some words could not be spoken. ”He smiled shallowly and smoothed the girl's eyebrows, "Do you know that if I am given another chance, I may still not be able to promise you, but I will definitely say it differently, so that these five years will not become a blank." ”: