If I had a mountain in front of me, I could wave at it, yell it and walk away, and I could easily remove it.
If it's a sea, I can raise my arms to it, shout and part, and then I can separate the sea like the legendary Moses passed through Egypt and parted the Red Sea But when I'm in front of a woman, I can't shout love me to her, and then she'll love me, I can't do that, I can't cut her heart out and engrave my name on it.
Even, when I am in pain, I can't make myself happy, I can control my heartbeat, control the frequency and speed of my heartbeat, and even I can control my breathing, the flow of blood.
But I couldn't control my feelings.
How to control whether you are happy or unhappy Let me tell you, what love is.
Chen Xiao I once laughed at this word, back then, when I failed Mingyue, Lao Tian came to the door, he was carrying a knife, staring at me with hatred and hatred, and questioned me.
I used to laugh at him, and I used to dismiss him.
When Lao Tian took Mingyue to walk around the place, and accompanied Mingyue for a few years with an infatuated heart, I couldn't understand this.
I do research, biology, genetics, genetics, and so on.
I used to think that what so-called love is just dopamine secreted by the brain.
Chemicals that help cells deliver impulses.
This endocrine system is responsible for the brain's feelings, the transmission of excitement and happiness.
Love is actually the result of a lot of dopamine production in the brain.
If you want the taste of love, you can inject yourself with a certain dose of dopamine, I used to think so.
Trying to explain everything in simple cold logic or technical terms, I don't have any divine impulse to worship the word love.
But later, I found out that I was wrong when your mother was completely disappointed in me, stopped loving me, and even turned to hate me.
When I revived your mother, she looked at me with such indifferent and cold eyes, so quiet that she was almost cold, and she said, she doesn't love me, she hates me.
You know what I did I tried to make her love me Yes, isn't the so-called love a chemical component secreted by the human brain, not to mention, I have already asked myself that I can control everything, time, space, and material everything is under my control.
I can easily control her body, even interfere with her brain signals, stimulate her brain to secrete a certain amount of dopamine, stimulate her, stimulate her excitement, stimulate her emotions I used to think that this is the essence of love, for a scientist, a chemist, it is just so pale and pitiful However, I was wrong I did everything I could to inject your mother with what I thought was love chemistry, and as a result, after I did that, your mother still looked at me so coldly, and she told me that you really think you are a god but you can't control my heart, no, you can't control anyone's heart, not even your own I was very angry, very frustrated, and even emotional, and I became more and more aggressive.
But then, or now, I finally realized that your mother was right.
I can control everything, but I can't control people's hearts, whether it's other people's hearts, or my own hearts, I can't control it, I can't command your mother to love me, I can't even command my own heart not to suffer Not only that, but I can't even control my own paranoia My ridiculous sense of mission, my ridiculous mission of trying to guide humanity, that ridiculous ambition, isn't that exactly what I think in my heart, I can't even control this, I can't control my ambition and ambition, and I let myself do things one thing after another.
God is powerful, but in the same way, God is weak in many ways, just like man.
Chen Xiao, until later, I often couldn't help but wonder whether what I did was right or wrong.
I want you to be absolutely free, to be a being who stands in the sky, to be an being who can master all the rules.
But in the end, I felt more and more that even if it was like that, we couldn't even control our own hearts."
Joker snuggled by the door, his eyes were calm, and he looked at Chen Xiao and the woman on the bed: "After she was rescued by me, she was already disheartened.
Later, she committed suicide several more times.
I went from anger, disappointment, frustration, to sadness, to finally peace.
You know what's the most ridiculous When your mother committed suicide for the third time, I wasn't even sad at all, not sad anymore.
Because I finally realized that no matter how she died, no matter when she died, no matter what she died, I could easily resurrect her as long as I wanted, and for her, it was like being woken up after sleeping.
No more life and death, no more sorrow.
Even, what should have been a poignant thing, in the end, it felt a little ridiculous.
When death is in my hands, it has become such a child's play as a child's play in this world, what else is worth paying attention to in this world, even death can be surpassed, so in this world, what else is worth looking forward to Suddenly, I realized that I had lost another important thing: happiness When everything is at my fingertips, I don't even have to do anything, as long as I move my mind, I can do anything I can control time, I can control matter, I can never die, I can even be young forever, and I can change my body at will to make myself young and handsome.
Even, in the past, I felt sorry for Lao Tian, his tragedy was that he lived too long, and as a result, the relatives around him died one by one before him.
But I began to think that I wouldn't be that tragic.
Because, after having the ability to control all matter, the people around me, as long as I want, I can also let them live as long as I do, as long as I use the ability to control matter every once in a while, to help them clean up or maintain the body's structural substances.
Theoretically, I can keep their bodies young and healthy forever.
In this way, there will be no more sorrow of life and death.
But soon, I realized that if there was no sadness, then there would be no happiness.
Everything is always relative, because there is the sadness of separation, and then with the sadness as a comparison, people will feel the joy of being together.
If there is no sadness, no contrast, there is no happiness.
When most of the things you can easily satisfy, you will be surprised to find that there is another important thing that is far away from you, and that is: Yes, ridiculous Gradually, I didn't even have it anymore I became almost desireless, without sadness or joy.
Later, I realized that God was just that. ” Joker sighed, "Unfortunately, I didn't believe your mother's words at all.
And now that I believe, I can't change her heart or mine. ” He slowly walked to Chen Xiao's side and looked at Chen Xiao's side face: "Your mother committed suicide three times, and each time she was saved by me, but the more I don't let her die, the more she doesn't want to live."
The more I tried to keep her, the more she wanted to leave me Later, I came up with a solution, that is, I sent someone to spy on you, and every once in a while, I would bring her the news about you.
Free novels bring you joy and joy ---> storyskyline.net
It seems that this is the only way to give her some spirit.
But soon, your mother won't even want to know anything about you. ” Looking at Chen Xiao's blank expression, Joker waved his hand: "No, it's not that she doesn't care about you anymore, it's that she can't bear to continue listening to those news."
Because she knows very well that I am going to make you a god, a god like me, and your mother thinks that this will be an unfortunate thing.
Therefore, she does not want to see me lead you step by step on the path to godhood.
But she couldn't stop me, she didn't have the power to stop me.
So, she could only choose not to continue watching.
I remember the last time she committed suicide, she said to me, please don't wake me up again Haha when she said this at the time, it was as if we weren't talking about her death, but about napping or napping or something like that.
She felt angry and thought I was horrible.
Because in front of me, she doesn't even have the power to die, she wants to escape from me, and she can't even escape me by dying.
Isn't that a terrible thing?
So, in the end, she could only beg me not to disturb her anymore and let her sleep quietly. ” "You promised her," Chen Xiao raised her eyelids slightly.
"Yes, I promised her."
Joker nodded, there was no trace of sadness in his eyes: "I'll just put her here, I will come to see her every day, and then help her maintain her body, you see, for God, it's that simple, no crystal coffin, no scientific preservation methods, I can make her body never corrupt at will, even if it is corrupted, I can also let her recover."
Forgive me for not being able to show sadness, because I know very well that I can wake her up whenever I want.
It's a big deal to make her hate me a little more.
If I wanted to, she would never be able to leave me, and death could not be escaped. ” If you think about it, this is indeed a terrible thing, and it is often heard that when one person rejects another person, he sometimes says something like: "I will not promise you to die."
But what if, you can't even die?
"If you want to wake her up, you can do it."
Joker smiled faintly, "But let me warn you, your mother doesn't want you to do that."
She said she didn't want to see you become a monster like me.
But now, you are. ” "I'm not like you."
Chen Xiao shook her head.
"Are you sure," joker's tone was very indifferent: "You've only been a god for eighteen minutes, but I've been a god for eighteen years, believe me, it won't be long before you find that you start to lose, you lose your happiness, you have no desires, and then you gradually lose interest in everything, and finally you become similar to my current state." ” `` To be continued: