Even if you count all the time of the first half of your life, which can be said to be useless, and the second half of your life, which lasts for the rest of your life, I beg your pardon for such a wording, but for anyone who knows and knows His Excellency Tatara, such a description is definitely appropriate, and even if you count all your lives, it can be said that this is the biggest crisis that Tatara has faced in this life Absolutely.
Suffice it to say, if the goblin god really made up his mind to treat our magician as his first appetizer after tens of thousands of years of sleep.
Then, it is no exaggeration to say that there is really no one in this world who can stop it Luckily, however, when our lovely Lord Tatara was faced with this life-and-death crisis, he himself did not feel the slightest pain or panic caused by danger.
The reason was simple: he was already in a coma and completely unconscious.
So, Toddoro was lucky not to witness such an encounter: he was almost thrown on the fire as food, and he did not know how he managed to survive this danger.
Therefore, in the life that followed, he became Char-sama's most loyal dog-legged man, and Todora occasionally wondered about this escape, how his own Char Master managed to prevent the goblin god from eating him as some kind of grilled lamb chops or something.
Unfortunately, our magicians have never had an accurate answer to the key to this.
Of course, it was our Char Master who stepped forward to save the poor magician, there is no doubt about that.
But there seem to be several versions of the answer to the question, how it was saved.
One of the versions is based on Char Leiming's own narration: At that time, when the terrible goblin deity was about to throw the poor magician into the fire as a delicacy of food, our great, brave, upright, and compassionate and kind Lord Char stood up firmly, and resolutely.
The righteous and strict words strongly condemned this evil behavior of the goblin god, and a deep soul telling, thought-provoking, pointed directly to the hearts of the people, and persuaded the cruel and ferocious goblin god, and then the goblin god was ashamed, and finally realized that this version is also the most widely circulated.
Regarding the credibility of this version, the famous general Lord Ruhr also expressed his opinion in a righteous and awe-inspiring manner after hearing about it: "This is a true and credible fact, as for whether you believe it or not, I believe it anyway."
In this version, the only small, almost negligible suspicion is that Tataro clearly remembers that when he woke up from a coma, he had been stripped naked like a hairless suckling pig, lying naked by the fire, and our kind and lovely Char Leiming was standing beside him at that time, and in his hand, he was holding a bottle of ketchup or something.
Oh yes, that's right, that's exactly a bottle of ketchup Of course, we must not doubt the character of our respectful, lovely, as always, and noble character Lord Char, and we should absolutely believe Char-sama's various explanations as to why he stood beside the smooth Tatara with a bottle of spice in his hand No one can get an accurate answer to what the truth is.
Including one of the parties, Tadoro.
However, many years later, on the top of a very meaningful grand banquet, Lord Char Thundering, who had poured almost a whole barrel of spirits, was drunk and oh yes, that banquet was a celebration dinner to celebrate that Lord Tatara had officially passed the examination of a senior magician.
At that time, Master Char, who was already drunk and could barely stand on his feet, pointed to the also drunk Master Totara and said this sentence: "Alas, if it weren't for that piece of red bean cake back then, where would there be today's teacher, and now you have become worm feces, if there are worms in that crystal mine." ” No one knows what Master Char meant by this sentence after he was drunk.
However, perhaps another important figure may have provided some important clues.
This character is: Lancelot.
Yes, Lancelot.
It was Uncle Char who passed by the restaurant on the road, and the owner of the restaurant killed his dog to make food for Char for a silver coin, and was later robbed and killed by the gangsters in the village because of a silver coin, and finally became an orphan and was taken in by Char, and later became Char's adopted son, and the child whose official name became "Lancelot Charya", Lancelot.
The clues provided by Lancelot are: "All three of them left, leaving me alone in the abandoned quarry, where I waited for a day and a night, and finally waited for them.
At that time, the adults rushed into the door as if they were crazy, and when they saw me, their faces were full of excitement and excitement, and they grabbed me by the collar and shouted to me, "Do you want to take out the red bean cake you made, take it all out and make more, don't ask how much, how much to do, I was scared silly, you know, the adult became a goblin at that time, I only saw a goblin grabbing me and yelling, I even had weak legs.
Well, that's all I remember.
Red bean cake, this is a very important clue.
At the same time, it is worth mentioning that the "Lance Lo Chaya", that is, the boy adopted by Char Leiming, did not become a powerful man later because he had such a high-ranking adoptive father, he did not join the army or politics.
But after he became an adult, he returned to his old business and ran a very famous restaurant in Yanjing, becoming a well-known chef.
His best feature is the delicious red bean cake, which is said to have become one of Yanjing's most famous dim sums, along with a delicious tomato sauce.
He became the most famous chef of the Empire, the richest merchant of the Empire, created many wonderful dishes, and married three beautiful wives at the same time, of course, that's another story, and we don't need to know much about it here.
And to clear the fog, let's use the method of guesswork to restore what actually happened at that time.
The goblin god had stretched out his green paws and hugged one of Tatara's thighs, a gesture like a gluttonous child hugging a fat pig's trotter.
At this time, Char was already creepy.
He didn't have time to think too much, so he could only scream and pounce on Tadoro, and hugged Tataro tightly with both hands. “” The goblin god let go of his hand and looked at Char suspiciously.
Char's throat was dry, and in the face of the green eyes looking at him, he really didn't know what to say that the goblin language he knew was too poor, and the current goblin language was very different from the ancient goblin language.
Soon, Char could see a hint of something wrong in the other person's eyes: they had begun to become restless and impatient.
Similarly, the goblin god kept swallowing saliva, which also let Char know that if he didn't come up with a way as soon as possible, I'm afraid that at this time, Char hugged Dodora's hand and suddenly touched something It was a small cloth bag that Totara had hidden in his arms, a clean white cloth wrapped in layers of things, and it was soft to the touch.
He immediately remembered that this was the dry food that Lancelot Jr. had made last night, and had taken it with him to prepare for his underground expedition.
"Red Bean Cake" Char's eyes lit up, and he quickly touched it out and opened it, and then handed it to the goblin god in front of him, who had begun to drool.
He tried his best to communicate with the other party.
Pointing to the Dotaro on the ground: "Suosuo, Death Base Death Base" This food, not good, bad.
The red bean cake in Yang's hand: "Suosuo, Okeok" This, the delicious thing brought three conclusions: For one, it's clear that human flesh really isn't delicious.
Second, Lancelot's cooking skills are indeed very good.
As for the third conclusion, it smacks of fucking irony.
The god of goblins, the most intelligent goblin race in ancient times, used the strength and wisdom of the whole clan and the painstaking efforts of hundreds of years to create such a powerful creature, one should be the strongest one standing at the top of all food chains.
It actually likes to be a vegetarian Looking at the few pieces of red bean cakes, it just entered the green mouth in an instant, and then almost directly omitted the chewing process and was swallowed into the stomach with a grunt.
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The green eyes lit up visibly, and then they looked at Char again.
Char understood that he had made the right bet.
This damn little green mongrel, please forgive the wording, but in a way, this creature that is said to be a combination of many races is indeed an out-and-out mongrel, and actually likes to eat vegetarian "Okeok" The goblin god pounced on Char with a cheer, but it was clear that it was not satisfied, and Okook kept shouting while holding Char.
Char wiped her cold sweat and pointed to the exit of the cave above her head: "Suo Suo Suo" The meaning is simple: food, outside.
The goblin god immediately quieted down, let go of Char, his hands drooped, and he looked as honest and honest, but the eyes that looked at Char were really innocent and a little creepy.
Char almost resisted the horror and shock in his heart, carried Tatara on his shoulder, and then took this goblin god with him, and prepared to leave.
However, Char did not forget his "good friend" Ada.
The golden dragon, which had been crippled, was also carried by Char.
In this way, such a strange combination left this underground crystal mine.
When he came out of the crack in the ground, the fresh air greeted him, the sun was so bright, Char took a deep breath, and the sound of cheering was already heard behind him.
"Oak Oak Oak" The green figure, jumping and jumping behind him, raised his arms at the sun in the sky, and let out a shout that he didn't know what it meant.
It can be seen that this guy is happy.
Then, the guy started yelling at Char again.
"Soso" rushed back to the stone yard like a rush, and the little Lancelot who was waiting here was directly arrested by Char from his sleep, and then Char shouted like a starving ghost: "Where are the red bean cakes you made, take them out quickly, if you don't have enough, make as many as you want."
Lancelot screamed, looking at the goblin in front of him who made the voice of Lord Char.
"It's me Char" Char gritted his teeth: "I don't have time to explain, do what I say" And what made little Lancelot at a loss was the last sentence of this Char master: "It is up to you to maintain world peace" Luckily, little Lancelot was a hardworking child, and he had already prepared enough food for three people.
Looking at the goblin god, he cheered and snatched all the red bean cakes, and then threw them directly into his mouth one by one and swallowed them.
Char let out a long sigh.
Then he began to nervously search for food.
It's not easy to satisfy the appetite of this little green mongrel.
Char was a good hunter, and he immediately ran out, but in a matter of moments, he caught two rock sheep with the ability of a strong man, which was too easy.
When he peeled and washed the rock sheep and put it on the fire to roast it, the aroma of the roasted meat and the smell of mutton fat blended and wafted out, to Char's surprise, the little green bastard didn't even look here Oh, at first, it may have glanced at it curiously, and then just shrugged its nose at the aroma of roasted meat, and an unhappy expression appeared on its face.
When Char tentatively handed over a piece of roasted mutton, the little green mongrel took it and sniffed it, and threw it aside: "Dead base" is not good.
Char sighed.
Well, it seems that we need flour, a lot of flour.
And red beans, lots of red beans.
Within half a day, a strange green goblin appeared in a small town about a few hundred miles from here, which swept away all the flour and red beans in the town, and then dropped a few pieces of gold.
"When will this guy be full" Looking at the little green bastard sitting in a pile of red bean cakes, Char's heart was full of vigilance.
What made Char a little relieved was that when this guy was enjoying the food, he didn't forget to give a piece to his hand, and his eyes were full of joy: "Suo Suo Suo" Char's heart has always worried about one thing: he has mastered the goblin language with just a few simple words.
If this genuine goblin god has something to say to himself, then he is afraid that this imposter will immediately wear a gang.
But strangely, this little green mongrel didn't do that at all.
It spoke like the descendants of the ancient goblins who now lived in the wildfire field, and when it spoke, it burst out word by word, without any coherent sentences.
It's like a child learning to talk Learn to speak This thought that flashed through Char was immediately caught by him This is an astonishing guess Little kids, little kids, little kids Yes, that's it child Char twisted his thigh hard, and the pain made him calm down immediately.
He stood up, walked back and forth beside the little green thing, carefully watched the other man's movements, and then his eyes became more and more sure of his ridiculous guess.
Little kids, yes How the goblin god was created.
That's not a difficult question to answer.
The ancient goblins gathered the wisdom of the entire race, collected specimens of many races for hundreds of years, gathered the strengths of many races, and finally created such a supposedly perfect creature, that is, what they considered to be "gods", a powerful creature with almost no weaknesses.
But in fact No matter how powerful and perfect a creature is, it all has one thing in common.
Power can be inherited, talent can be bestowed on even the most powerful person or creature, and when they are first born into this world, it is absolutely impossible to have one thing immediately. mind It's the mind, not wisdom, not intelligence.
Perhaps some people are naturally very intelligent, whether it is reaction, observation, analysis, or learning ability.
But the mind alone cannot be acquired at the moment of birth.
No matter how wise a wise man is, when he is just born, he needs someone to teach him how to eat, how to speak, and teach him everything.
Maybe this goblin god, all his talents are extremely powerful and flawless, but at least, when he was born, his mind was actually still a blank slate So, this goblin god, is it a blank slate?
Think carefully about the goblin story.
The general of the Goblin Creation God District, and at the last moment when the entire clan was about to be destroyed, he released and awakened the "Goblin God" who had just been created.
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Yes, last minute After the release of this goblin god, the last remaining goblins were quickly destroyed.
They don't have time to give this newborn being the education it deserves.
And this newborn goblin god, no one has come to teach it anything, it is just a blank slate What can be inferred is that many races at that time, even the intelligent elven race, seemed to ignore such a simple truth They just saw a powerful goblin god who had been released, but they didn't realize that this terrible thing was actually a blank slate.
They simply took up their weapons in a panic and assumed a hostile attitude.
Can't wait to kill this newborn thing.
As a result, although the goblin god was only newborn, after all, he had powerful instincts and talents, but the many races that tried to kill it hastily triggered its instinctive counterattack and hostility.
A newborn and powerful being, if you treat it as a friend, it will see you as a friend.
If you treat it as an enemy, it will treat you as an enemy.
So it's no wonder that when it was underground, it had just woken up, and it immediately assumed a hostile attitude towards the Divine Dragon, severely damaging the Divine Dragon.
And for Tadoro, he directly regarded this human being as an enemy or even food.
But he showed friendliness to Char, who had become a goblin.
It may indeed be very powerful, and the hundreds of thousands of allied forces of many races in ancient times, plus countless top powerhouses, cannot kill it.
It may be able to easily defeat a hundred strong people, but its mind is actually not much higher than that of a three-year-old child.
As for the goblin language it spoke, perhaps it was spoken by the ancient goblins who created it when it was in the Creation God Zone, and it heard it a little bit, and remembered to learn these words.
As for the fact that it knew that it was going to make a fire to roast Tadoro, it was probably also the impression it left when it saw the army life and cooking of other races when it was facing the siege of the coalition forces of many races.
There are infinite possible surnames.
So, Char decided to take a gamble.
It's also something that has to be gambled.
Because, he knew very well that the transformation magic that Tatara used at the end had a time effect, and once the time was up, the magic subsided, and he would change back to his human appearance, and when the time came, Char walked to the goblin god and sat down.
The little green thing immediately enthusiastically handed over a piece of red bean cake, and then looked at Char with a blank eye.
Char sighed in her heart.
Then he stretched out his finger and drew a few patterns on the ground, crude, but concise and clear.
He drew two little figures that looked like goblins and humans at the same time.
Some of the two villains hugged each other, some held hands, and some sat side by side.
Then, Char pointed to these patterns, the words were round, and said slowly in human language: "Friend." ” The little green thing was immediately confused, and it looked at Char, then at the little figures in the few patterns on the ground, and finally its eyes fell on the two small figures sitting side by side.
A smile appeared on its face.
"Friends."
Seeing this little green hole mouth spitting out this word, Char breathed a sigh of relief in her heart and read it again: "Friend." ” After a pause, he added: "Friend Okeok" The goblin god was laughing, and he was smiling kindly.
Pointing to the two villains sitting side by side on the ground, he pointed to himself and Char sitting next to him: "Friend Okeok" Perhaps, it still doesn't understand the true meaning of the word "friend", but it warmly embraced Char, and the warm and kind voice and eyes, even Char suddenly had an inexplicable feeling in his heart.
Life has always been like this.
Isn't it?
On the ground of the historical field, countless small patterns have been drawn.
Some of the patterns show several villains fighting each other, holding knives and swords in their hands, fighting each other.
Char pointed to these patterns: "Enemy, Dead Dead Base" Obviously, such a pattern caused some very bad memories of this little green thing, and it immediately showed an expression of hatred and disgust, and gritted its teeth: "Enemy, enemy is dead."
Char pointed to the red bean cake: "Sosook Ok for food" Char pointed to the red wheel in the sky and said, "Sun Okeok" Char picked up the water bag and put the clear liquid everywhere: "Water, Oak" Char pointed to Char and took out Char Finally, when the sun set, Char, who was sitting next to this little green thing, suddenly appeared a ball of light on his body, after the aura receded, his green skin began to return to normal, and the original human face appeared little by little to witness the whole process of Char's change, this little green thing, began to show a vigilant expression, it immediately jumped up, and then its eyes showed undisguised hatred and anger, and even it had stretched out its hand to Char Its fingertips, A black glow erupted.
But just when its fingertips almost touched Char's chest.
"Friends" Char said this word very clearly.
In an instant, the finger stopped on his chest.
In the green eyes, the eyes of hatred and anger gradually faded, at first doubt, dazed, and finally little by little, showing kind eyes.
Finally, it lowered its hand, looked at Char, and blinked its eyes.
"Friends" Char breathed a sigh of relief in his heart, he knew that he seemed to have made the right bet.
When Tatara woke up, he felt a little cold on his body, and when he looked down, he was completely naked, like a newborn baby.
Not far from the fire was a fire, the barbecue rack had been set up, and a row of seasoning bottles were placed beside him, salt, peppers, sauces, and then, with a kind smile, the excessively old Char, stood in front of him, holding a bottle of ketchup in his hand.
Immediately, the hairs on his whole body stood on end.
Nightmare, this must be a nightmare "Old, sir, next to it, why is there a fire frame next to it?"
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"Oh, because I'm going to prepare a barbecue."
"Old, sir, why are there all these spices?"
"Oh, because I'm going to make a delicious barbecue."
"Old, sir, why am I naked?"
"Oh, because I used your clothes to light the fire."
"Old, sir, why are you holding ketchup?"
As soon as he finished speaking, Char's hand was crooked, and a little ketchup was spilled on Todoro's body, and the poor magician screamed, rolled his eyes, and fainted again.
"It's strange that I kindly gave him a red bean cake to eat, why did he faint again, but when I said it, this red bean cake tastes really good with tomato sauce." `` To be continued 〗Hanyu Pinyin "" is simple and easy to remember: