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Chapter 603: Jintang Jinse


The mood is very bad, very bad, very bad.

Why is it so difficult to live?

Why is it so difficult to live well, so difficult?

I really wish I could live in a vacuum and be a vacuum person who doesn’t have to communicate with others or eat, drink or poop.

I really wish I could live in the form of thinking.

I really hope I can be a lonely ghost after death.

Why is it so difficult to stay alone?

Enjoying loneliness sometimes feels like committing a crime.

I really wish I was my own protagonist, able to come and go freely, and stubbornly separated from the world.

I always remind myself to be optimistic, but what I see tells me that it’s not that I’m not optimistic, but that this is its truest appearance.

I don’t know what I am doing, I don’t know what I will do in the future, I don’t know if I can go on this road.

Restless, restless, depressed.

It would be great if there really was a place in the world where I could completely close myself off, so that I could have a place to escape.

I hate the world, I hate myself, I hate life.

But everything still has to go on.

Because I don’t have the courage to die.

Even venting requires constant consideration.

It's a shame that we can't promote positive energy.

Incoherent, confused, and neurotic.

An utopia that cannot be found.

A lonely wonderland beyond sight.

Even a word like loneliness has to be sad to see it given a derogatory part of speech.

Don't dare to be aggrieved or sad, because this is what most people agree with.

Even the occasional tentative words would be called hypocrisy.

I can't even write the words I want.

What a failure, what a failure.

What should I do?

So cowardly

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