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Chapter 31, cultivating immortals is difficult, Your Majesty should be a superman!


Chapter 10: Cultivation as an immortal is difficult, Your Majesty should be a superman Under the endless bombardment of the Song people, the Jin army, which was hit hard by hundreds of thousands of tons of solid sound, finally retreated from Bianliang City.

And our Great Immortal Guo Jingguo, while enjoying the cheers of tens of thousands of soldiers and civilians, also did not forget to encourage these guys: "Of course we can't despise the fighting power of the Jurchens, but we can't look down on them either.

They are both born from parents and made of flesh and blood.

Why are there so many Jurchens that they are invincible in the world?

If you are afraid of him from the bottom of your heart, then you have lost.

The sword is right.

Knife, gun vs. gun, true skill shows what you can do.

There are no people in this world who cannot be killed.

It just depends on how to deal with them.

Even the so-called Jurchen cavalry, you are not completely unable to deal with it."

At the same time, Wang Qiu, Doraemon and Nobi Nobita were busy counting the gains from this battle.

"I changed the course of the Bianliang Dongshui Gate offensive and defensive battle, and only received 200 reward points.

This amount of money is too rare."

Looking at the first number of reward points displayed on the Book of Time Travel, classmate Wang Qiu couldn't help but feel a little headache.

According to such a stingy reward standard, if you want to accumulate enough "minimum escape standard" of 50,000 points, how long will it take?

However, compared with the lack of reward point income, the actual monetary income of the travelers is quite considerable.

They collected mahogany furniture, huanghuali window frames, nanmu beams, natural herbs, jade ornaments, official kiln porcelain, etc. along the way.

After putting all the valuable things into the automatic pawn machine, Doraemon once again obtained the latest income of 70 million yen.

Coupled with the proceeds from dismantling the abbot's temple at Tensei Temple and stuffing it into automatic pawn machines, Doraemon's total revenue on the first day of the Northern Song Dynasty has reached 100 million yen.

Although it is still far from the total debt of 300 billion, Doraemon finally saw a glimmer of hope in paying off the debt.

However, before Wang Qiu and the others could discuss how to continue scraping three feet of ground in Bianliang City in this time and space, and collect at least tens of billions of yen, a veteran came to them.

The eunuch Xiao Huangmen brought the emperor's summons with a roar.

Of course, meeting the emperor was a matter for Great Immortal Guo Jingguo.

Wang Qiu, Doraemon and Nobi Nobita, as "entourage", did not have the honor of seeing Longyan.

They could only wait in the side hall.

In fact, with their status, they were not ordered to stand outside the palace gate to blow the cold wind.

Even that’s good.

Next, it soon arrived in the evening.

Guo Jing was invited by the emperor to enjoy the imperial meal together, seemingly because of the pleasant conversation.

Wang Qiu and the others were also in a small room somewhere that looked like a utility room or a concierge.

Received a "working meal" provided by the palace.

First is a plate of cold dishes, salted red fruits.

Then there are two meat and two vegetables: steamed mutton, soup bones, sesame-cured chicken skin, and fake fried meat.

The so-called fake fried pork is fried winter melon.

The so-called Ma Fu Chicken Skin is made by boiling mung bean powder and sesame paste into a paste, and then freezing it into a tofu shape.

After it is prepared, it is light yellow in color with pitted spots, resembling chicken skin, so the name is basically similar to that of later generations of fast food restaurants. , all cheap food.

For these Song Dynasty dishes, Wang Qiu, a modern Chinese, was very uncomfortable with the differences between the dishes of the Northern Song Dynasty and modern Chinese dishes, especially the plate of salted red fruits.

Wang Qiu frowned and fiddled with the plate for a long time.

The large salt particles in it are so big that I dare not put them in my mouth: the heavy-flavored food of the Song Dynasty people who used salt to accompany wine is really incredible to modern people.

On the contrary, Doraemon and Nobita Nobita enjoyed the taste.

Although traditional Japanese cuisine is mainly cold and light, and rarely uses hot oil for cooking, it is very salty.

When using salt, it is almost impossible to put salt in it. .

Even when cooking porridge and tea, you need to sprinkle salt into it.

Some people in later generations said that "traditional Chinese culture is in Japan and South Korea", could it also include daily eating habits?

However, although people in the Song Dynasty tried their best to add salt when cooking certain dishes, as if it was free, in fact, the salt in the Song Dynasty was not cheap at all.

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There is even a proverb among the people: "The salt that solves the pond is whiter than the snow, and a handful of dendrobium is worth ten thousand yuan."

Because the price of salt is so high, people in Song Dynasty are eating vegetables Putting a lot of salt on the street has become a way to show off your wealth.

The more expensive something is, the more you should eat it.

If possible, Wang Qiu thinks that he can try selling salt to raise money, but in this chaotic situation, It seems that it is easier to search directly.

Also, since it was a "working meal", there was no wine on the table, only a small bucket of white slurry drink called "slurry water".

This thing called "slurry water" by the Song Dynasty people was made from processed and fermented corn.

It tastes like a lactic acid drink, sweet but slightly sour, which can help digestion and appetite.

Unfortunately, it was really cold now and it was really not the time to drink cold drinks.

Wang Qiu only drank two cups and did not dare to drink any more.

After barely having an unpalatable dinner, the sky was already bleak.

Wang Qiu and the other three time travelers had no choice but to sit around a candle and sit in boredom for a long time before waiting for the Great Immortal Guo Jingguo to come out from the emperor's side.

Take them back, but come to Doraemon for help "It's a pity that you sit down at the front table in the middle of the night and don't ask about the people or the ghosts and gods."

Guo Jing smiled bitterly at them with a very ugly face.

"As the saying goes, poor people must be hateful.

This Emperor Qinzong, who played the leading role in the Jingkang scandal, He is really an out-and-out foolish king."

In fact, Guo Jing was shocked when he saw Qinzong Emperor Zhao Huan today.

At first glance, the Emperor of the Song Dynasty was already too thin to be human-shaped, and his bloodless face was as pale as white paper. , with high cheekbones, a hoarse voice, and a staggering stagger when walking.

He looks like a drug addict who has been taking drugs for more than ten years, and also like a terminally ill patient.

How did the emperor get himself into this state?

Ghostly Fortunately, a young eunuch secretly told him the details: "Your Majesty has been practicing too hard recently, and he often takes elixirs, and his body is very weak."

It turned out that the emperor took too many elixirs and gave himself heavy metal poisoning.

In fact, Emperor Qinzong Zhao Huan, like his father Song Huizong, was not only interested in poetry, calligraphy and painting, but also obsessed with practicing immortality and Taoism.

He often took some elixirs to seek immortality.

However, the alchemy technique these days is very unscientific, and they especially like to add toxic and harmful heavy metals such as mercury and lead powder into the elixir.

As a result, Zhao Huan was fine when he was the prince.

Under the repeated defeats of the Song Army, the psychological pressure was so great that it was indescribable, and he had nightmares for days and months.

In order to get a good night's sleep, he had no choice but to take pills and follow the example of celebrities from the Eastern Jin Dynasty.

He also took the famous ancient drug Wu Shi San.

The effect was similar to opium, but the price was much more expensive.

He forced himself to become a Such a bad look.

All in all, after meeting the emperor of the Song Dynasty, who was sick, haggard and energetic, Guo Jing immediately thought of an image in the movie The Destruction of the Empire.

At the end of World War II, the emperor was trapped in a bunker and watched Berlin.

The Fall of Hitler But there is nothing that can be done about it.

If the tension and depression cannot be relieved in time, the emperor may have gone crazy.

Why are many emperors obsessed with immortality?

Because the emperor is an extremely challenging and high-risk profession.

Most emperors can "huddle" through their lives peacefully, and it is good to die in peace.

What kind of famous king or saint king do you want to be?

, the difficulty is not ordinary.

There are only a dozen or so famous kings in the history of Great China, but there are countless mediocre kings, stupid kings and tyrants.

In a sense, the emperor is the freest person in the world, because his power has no restrictions; but from another perspective, the emperor is the least free person in the world, and the problem is also that his unlimited power is Therefore, once anyone gets the imperial power, they must not give it up easily.

The end of most emperors after losing their power is usually extremely miserable, even if they are seized by their own sons: the tragic fate of most emperors in history, Enough to make anyone shudder Throughout the ages, elites from all walks of life in the world have been weighing, spying and calculating the emperor day and night.

And every emperor has to work hard and tirelessly, fighting wits and courage with elites from all walks of life and even his own descendants throughout his life.

He cannot relax for a minute.

People in the world are the slaves of the emperor, and the emperor is the slave of power.

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But even being a slave to power is better than being a dead person.

Years of endless anxiety have made the emperors highly nervous all year round, even to the point where the wind and the roar of the wind and the grass and trees are in a state of mental sub-health.

Therefore, all kinds of incredible perversions and absurd deeds abound in the noble emperors. .

For example, Gao Wei, the empress of the Northern Qi Dynasty, liked to play the role of a beggar, Xiao Baojuan, the deposed emperor of the Southern Qi Dynasty, hunted mice and slept in, Emperor Wanli of the Ming Dynasty did not go to court for twenty years, Emperor Hongwu killed heroes indiscriminately, Emperor Jiajing was paranoid and stubborn, and Emperor Tianqi was addicted He does carpentry work, etc., all because of mental illness.

In short, the emperor was under too much pressure and was often in a state of sub-optimal mental health.

If he was not careful, he might directly fall into mental disorder.

Those emperors who were lucky could still numb themselves with wine and sex in the harem, or devote themselves to calligraphy, painting, singing, dancing and other arts; those who were unlucky were wasting people and wealth, killing ministers indiscriminately, shaking the foundation of the court, or worshiping religion.

This is nothing in this era.

A full-time psychiatrist can only be Buddhist monks and Taoist heavenly masters came to make guest appearances, trying to find ways to treat the emperor's mental illness, which objectively provided huge market demand for "real people who protect the country" like Guo Jing, and also made "monsters" who interfered in government affairs in the past dynasties "Tao" and "Monk" are always forbidden.

So, the problem came up.

Political Commissar Guo Jing, who had traveled through time, saw that he was recruiting "Liujia Divine Soldiers" to resist the Jinlu, so he naturally regarded himself as a military commander, but he did not expect that his own job was actually He was the "Queen's Psychiatrist".

However, when the emperor summoned him to the palace, he only mentioned the war in one sentence.

Instead, he asked very eagerly about cultivating immortals and immortality, and he was suddenly confused.

The city is already besieged by golden soldiers.

Your Majesty, do you still want to "pity me for sitting empty in the middle of the night, not asking about the common people or ghosts and gods?"

The monarchs and ministers of the Great Song Dynasty really competed with each other to death without any limit.

Fortunately, there is someone behind Political Commissar Guo Jing, and it is Doraemon who has great background and can be said to be omnipotent.

"Doraemon, I can only ask for your help in this matter.

Is there any way to make this heavy metal-poisoned emperor become an immortal?"

After listening to Guo Jing's complaints, Wang Qiu decisively followed Nobi Nobita's example and set his expectant eyes on Doraemon.

"It's difficult to do.

If the phone booth can only allow people to jump to another parallel time and space, and it usually cannot be used in other worlds.

Lies come true, and the emperor himself can become an immortal.

Yes, but the pre-recorded immortal templates above are all Old men with white beards, I heard that the emperor is less than thirty years old.

If he is made to age so much all of a sudden, will it be considered as helping him to cultivate immortality and immortality, or will it cause a quick death?"

Doraemon said with distress, "And there is a time limit for lies to come true.

It would be good if it can last for half a day."

"I know this is very difficult for you, Doraemon, but please come up with an idea.

You know, the 300 billion debt you are currently carrying can only be borne by a wealthy man like the emperor.

Come on, please, Doraemon," Wang Qiu continued.

"Then I'll think about it again.

How about I just fool you like this first?"

In view of the above reasons, Doraemon had no choice but to think sadly for a while, and then finally took out a few magical props, "First use the automatic medical box to diagnose and treat the emperor.

Anyway, he was cured of heavy metal poisoning first." .

Then let him put on this Superman suit.

The fairy suit in the future world is really hard to come by for a while, so let’s make do with this Superman suit first.

Anyway, he can still fly.”

So, when the civil and military ministers of the Song Dynasty entered the palace to attend court early the next morning, they saw a horrifying scene that could make the blood pressure of the scholar-bureaucrats soar: a group of eunuchs and maidens gathered in front of the palace with their necks raised, all looking extremely nervous.

Pointing fingers and shouting from time to time.

And Emperor Qinzong, who only wore a blue tights, a red cloak, and a pair of red underwear, flew around the palace wearing this outfit that was both immoral and prone to catching colds.

He laughed so happily: "Hehehehe, I have become an immortal.

I have become an immortal."

Obviously, even if he became a superman, the Emperor of the Song Dynasty had no intention of going out incognito for private visits, acting chivalrously, and saving the world.

On the contrary, it caused destruction in the palace: due to the temporary inability to adapt to Superman's power, His Majesty the Emperor tore down a large palace to pieces.

As for the ministers and officials in the Great Song Dynasty, after seeing this superhuman emperor in strange clothes, we will not mention how messy they will feel and what kind of chaos they will cause.

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At the same time, Guo Jingguo, Doraemon and other time-travelers also happily began to destroy the royal gardens of the Northern Song Dynasty, or "demolition by order" oshow7: