I became a completely soulless body.
The power of drug addiction was too powerful.
In that twisted spiritual world, I could get everything I fantasized about.
The dream that never ends, the clear water, the golden soft beach, and the seagulls flying freely in the blue sea and sky.
Once I returned to reality, I seemed to have fallen from heaven into a bottomless hell, with severed heads everywhere and dismembered corpses covered with maggots.
The strong stench was disgusting.
At that time, I was obsessed with a game called World of Warcraft, and the game I chose was an undead race.
I live like a ghost, sleeping during the day, drinking and staying up late to surf the Internet.
Because Wan Xinyi was busy at the company, I was the only one left at home, but no matter how busy she was, she would always find time to go home and inject me with that thing.
If I left that thing, I would go crazy.
When I was sober, I thought about ending my life, but when I thought about the child in Chen Nina's belly, I couldn't help but burst into tears.
I swear again and again and break my vows again and again.
My cell phone was smashed into pieces, and I lost all contact with the outside world for more than two months.
I seemed to have disappeared from the world, hiding in Wan Xinyi's house.
I woke up in the afternoon, walked into the bathroom to take a shower, and looked at myself in the mirror.
I was shocked.
My eyes in the mirror are sunken, and my face is as pale as the frozen meat in the freezer.
I touched my cheek in disbelief.
The skin seemed to have no elasticity.
When I touched it lightly with my finger, it immediately sank.
I stared at myself in the mirror dumbfounded.
I couldn't even believe that it was me.
It had only been two months.
I have turned into such a person that I don’t look like a human or a ghost.
I asked myself, is this the end of my life?
I am not willing to accept it.
I filled the bathtub with water, sat in it, and kept washing my cheeks with my hands.
It seems like this constant rubbing can wash away my shameful soul.
I suddenly saw that my arms were covered with small holes left by needles.
The shocking feeling made me jump with fear.
An invisible fear shook me, and I swore once again.
I'm going to quit that stuff.
I can't continue to degenerate like this.
Will my unborn child have such a drug-addicted father who doesn't look like a human or a ghost?
Absolutely not In the evening, Wan Xinyi came back.
He threw his boots on the ground and asked: "Han Bing, what are we going to eat tonight?
Why don't we wear headphones to play the copy?"
I looked at her calmly and said: "I uninstalled the game.
Wan Xinyi hung her coat on the hanger with some disbelief, and said: "Don't be ridiculous, have you been scolded by the group leader again?
As she spoke, she walked over, looked at the computer screen, was stunned for a few seconds, and said in a tone of disbelief: “You want to get off drugs.
I looked up at her and said, "I can't live like this anymore.
There's no point in living, it's worse than death."
Wan Xinyi came over and touched my forehead.
I pushed her away and said, "I don't have a fever.
I'm serious."
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Wan Xinyi stared at me and said tentatively: "If you want to quit, I support you, but quitting this thing requires willpower that is unbearable for ordinary people.
The thing is in my bag.
When I can't hold it anymore, just call me and I'll take a shower first.
After a while If you want something delicious, just call the front desk.
Wan Xinyi finished speaking.
Went to the bathroom.
I browsed aimlessly through the web, which contained all kinds of stories about drug addiction recovery experiences.
It is said on the Internet that it is not difficult to quit drug addiction.
What is difficult is the addiction.
Looking at the successful cases of some addicted netizens on the Internet, my confidence suddenly doubled.
It is said on the Internet that the first stage of detoxification is the most difficult.
Everything is difficult at the beginning, and you must temporarily refuse dependence on drugs.
Seeing this, I suddenly felt my heartbeat speed up, I began to sweat coldly all over my body, my nose began to flow continuously, and the hand holding the mouse began to tremble uncontrollably.
I knew my drug addiction was coming back, so I smashed the ashtray on my hand like crazy.
I thought the pain in my hand would temporarily relieve my drug addiction.
But I was wrong.
I looked uneasily at Wan Xinyi's bag hanging on the hanger.
I only needed a few steps to relieve this pain.
I said to myself in my heart, I can't do this.
Once I opened the bag I was done.
I suddenly pushed away the table and collapsed to the ground, lying on the carpet, but found myself instinctively lying in the direction of Wan Xinyi's backpack.
Wan Xinyi obviously heard the noise.
She was almost naked and ran out of the bathroom and hugged me and said, "Han Bing, don't wrong yourself.
I'll help you get it."
I stared at Wan Xinyi and almost cried: "If you really love me, just pour the things into the toilet.
I beg you, while I can still control it now, I beg you, cut off my only thought." think.
Wan Xinyi was stunned for a few seconds and said: "Are you sure?
I was so tired that I gritted my teeth and shouted: "Throw it away, I can't bear it.
Wan Xinyi grabbed her satchel and poured the water-like glass bottle into the toilet.
I rolled on the ground in excruciating pain, injuring myself in various ways.
As time passed by, I kept banging my head on the floor.
Wan Xinyi couldn't stand it anymore and took out her cell phone to call Yulong.
I rushed over and grabbed her cell phone and shouted, "Do you want me to die now?
Call Heizi to tie me up.
Wan Xinyi Xinyi looked at me with tears streaming down her face, then picked up the phone on the ground and called Heizi.
The long ordeal passed by second by second.
After Heizi entered the house with a few men, he saw that the room was in a mess.
Without saying a word, he glanced at Wan Xinyi.
Wan Xinyi was wrapped in pajamas, her shoulders tightened, she smoothed her wet long hair, and said calmly: "Tie him up.
Heizi came over without a word, grabbed my shoulders, and held me down to the ground.
Then the men tied me up skillfully.
As soon as Heizi and the others left, Wan Xinyi collapsed on the ground and hugged me, crying and saying:
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for you Han Bing, I was wrong, please don't be like this, okay?
This greedy woman, the more she reveals her guilty side, the more disgusting I feel.
She held my face, wiping my tears and snot from my nose.
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Then she used all her strength to bury my head deeply in her arms.
I was like a mad beast, howling desperately, and the voice was simply not human.
After about an hour, I gradually regained my composure.
I felt completely exhausted and had no strength at all.
I said breathlessly: "Xinyi, let me go Wan Xinyi wiped the sweat from my forehead and said, "Are you feeling better?"
I nodded.
After Wan Xinyi released the rope for me, I silently walked into the bathroom and lay in the bathtub.
I knew that I had finally survived this temporary hurdle.
After taking a shower, I suddenly felt very hungry, and then Wan Xinyi ordered a lot of food.
After eating, the heartbreaking drug addiction came again.
Wan Xinyi stared at the watch and said: "It's less than an hour, how come it's so fast.
I sneered and said: "This is not a gift from you, this is the power of the new liquid methamphetamine you developed.
Wan Xinyi, if you still have a conscience, stop doing it.
Your money is based on the pain of others.
Don’t you realize that the money you earn is dirty?
I saw Wan Xinyi looking like she was in pain and said: “Call Kuroko and ask him to continue tying me up.
If I really can't hold it any longer, I'll ask Heizi to beg you as soon as I get here.
Wan Xinyi didn't answer, picked up the phone on the table and called Heizi.
Then I was tied up by Heizi again, and then I screamed like a ghost again.
I didn’t know how I lived that night.
I knelt down and begged Wan Xinyi to kill me.
I really couldn't bear it.
Wan Xinyi sat next to me dully, looking at me without a word, and a series of tears rolled down her eyes.
Her expression told me that she seemed to be deeply shocked by how painful I was.
She began to look restless.
I seemed to have calmed down in the morning and only had it three times overnight.
Looking at Wan Xinyi, whose eyes were bloodshot, she said breathlessly: "What do you think?
You feel very good.
Are you enjoying this pleasure?
You appreciate it, I, Han Bing, live like a dog, please, right?
Wan Xinyi shook her head with tears streaming down her face and said, "Han Bing, I really didn't expect it would end up like this.
I looked at her sadly and said, "Can you forgive me for hurting you now?"
Wan Xinyi closed her eyes, bit her lip and said, "I have never hated you.
I shook my head and said: "I, Han Bing, owe so much to others in my life.
I know I'm sorry for you.
I have to bear these pains.
Every time I get addicted to drugs, I can't help but hate you."
I hate to strangle you to death.
Until now I finally figured it out.
If I didn't hurt you in the first place, maybe this wouldn't be the result.
The frozen tears in Wan Xinyi's eyes fell down from the corners of her eyes again, and she said affectionately: "Han Bing, you finally admitted that you are sorry for me.
Do you know that you left me in Modern Times Square that day?
Do you know how I felt at the time?
I have never been wronged since I was a child.
That day I was afraid of thinking about death, so I stood on the rooftop with my hands open.
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Life and death were just a matter of thoughts apart.
Time can really forget hatred.
In so many days with you , looking at you in agony, my heart breaks.
I ask myself, is this the pleasure that revenge brings?
When I am torturing you, I am also torturing myself.
I love you, and love is so hard.
I'm not a layman, and I don't believe in love at first sight in movies.
Do you still remember the day you called me for the first time after you were released from prison?
Your voice is very magnetic, and I am full of curiosity about you.
I dressed up specially that day, wearing white gloves, you know?
That was the first time that I dressed up specially to meet a boy I had never met before
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