Why save me?
Why......
Don't you let me die quietly like this?
What's the point of being alive?
Do you want her to live in loneliness and painful repentance for the rest of her life?
But even if it's repentance......
And who wants to listen?
Who wants to listen?
No one wants to, she has done her own thing, and she should enjoy the bitter fruits of loneliness for a lifetime, but if she can't bear it anymore......
And how?
And how?
In the second half of her long life, she didn't have the courage to try, the kind of pain that bordered on suffocation, decades......
Don't say decades, just in the past half a year, she is already scared, she can't bear it anymore, this loneliness is too terrible, like a bottomless dark abyss......
"Mother......
Mother. ”Yun Tingyu bit her lip and knelt down beside the bed, her gentle and respectful voice trembled a little, "Mother, I have never blamed you, these days, I ......
I know a little in my heart, my mother probably knows something, but I don't know how to say a lot of words, and those things that happened before were not my mother's fault in the first place......
Mother is a victim......
"victim?
No, she's not a victim, she's a stupid woman blinded by her own darkness, being used as a pawn without knowing it.Silent tears wet her cheeks, and Mrs.
Yun's heart was surging with emotion, she gritted her teeth so that she didn't let herself cry bitterly, just a little, just a little, just a little, she could no longer control her sudden loss of control - mother.She had been waiting for a long time in her heart, and finally came up with this less alienating title......
"Cunxin." ”Yun Xiang's gaze was fixed on her face full of sadness and tears, and her voice was full of remorse and self-blame, "I'm sorry, these days......
I'm sorry I snubbed you. ”Madame Yun didn't speak, and looked at the curtain inside through her teary eyes, but her vision was blurred but she couldn't see the water streaks on the curtain clearly.Yun Xiang pursed his lips, his face turned pale, and looked at Mrs.
Yun quietly.Mourning, desolation, sorrow......
The room slowly fell silent.Yun Tingfeng stood stiffly aside, his eyes looking out of the window without focus, and his eyes were barren.In everyone's heart, it seems that there is a boat floating on the sea, beaten by the wind and waves, which makes people hesitate.I don't know how long it took, Mrs.
Yun turned her head slightly, her eyes looked at the top of the tent directly above, and her hoarse voice slowly sounded, with a kind of precipitated silence, "I feel that I have no shame to live in the world." ”"Mother."
Yun Tingyu's face changed, and his voice was alarmed, "What did my mother say?"
What happened before, it wasn't your fault at all......"
"Whose fault is that?"
”Mrs.
Yun asked rhetorically, her tone indifferent, as if she was asking a question that had nothing to do with her, "Whether it is the demon who weaved a lie to deceive me, or the concubine who participated in this plan, they are all dead, and they are all gone, but what about me?"
My love was lost, my family was thinned, I became so ugly, I was no longer like myself......
I can't even think about what I've done in the past 30 years. ”"Thirty years......
My own son has been tortured by my mother for thirty years......"
The voice gradually trembled, the disguised calm completely collapsed, and the voice with trembling and crying was almost out of tune, "How many thirty years of life are there?"
I don't dare to think about it......
I don't dare to think about what I have done, every time I think about it, it is a torture......
But how could I not want to?
This room was frighteningly quiet, empty and unpopular, and I could do nothing but think about it, over and over again, what else could I do?
What else can I do......"
"I want to find someone to talk to, I want to find someone to confess, even if I lose my life, even if I die like this, it is better than me ......being alone all day and all night" I thought about it all day and night, and then I was driven crazy by endless remorse and torture day after day.Every time everyone sits in front of the window, the past thirty years are like maggots on the tarsal bones, constantly emerging in my mind, constantly echoing, those pictures that make her heart ache and make her regret beyond measure, so tormented day and night ......
"Mother." ”Yun Tingyu stretched out his hand to hold her trembling hand, his face turned white, his eyes flashed with crystal water, and his voice was choked, "Mother, don't say it again, I really don't blame you, really......
I'm sorry, I should have told you these things, I'm sorry......
It's my fault, it's my fault......"
Mrs.
Yun shook her head, closed her eyes, and let her tears continue to wet the pillows on both sides.Listen to the rain, how could it be your fault?
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You are so gentle, so sensible, you have been submissive for a long time, you have unspeakable secrets in your heart, you have words of suffering, you are restless day and night, but you have to bear the constant harsh criticism of your mother, and you cannot resist at all......
How is it your fault?
You're the real victim, how can it be your fault?
It's my mother's stupidity and ignorance that hurt you, and caused you to suffer so many years of grievances in vain......
Yun Tingyu took a deep breath and comforted gently: "Mother, everything is over, don't think about it anymore, okay?"
Listening to the rain, I finally got rid of the gap in my heart with my mother, and before I had time to enjoy my mother's love, did my mother want to leave her son and grandson together and go to Huangquan alone?
On Huangquan Road, there is no grandson for you to hug......
"grandson?"
Mrs.
Yun was stunned.Yes, her daughter-in-law is pregnant, and she is about to hold her grandson.The joy of family, she thought about the appearance of the child after birth countless times in her heart, but even the fantasy of family still could not erase the sadness and pain in her heart......
So what now?
God didn't accept her life, did he want to give her a chance to make up for it?
There was a faint hope in her heart, and she spoke softly."
Help me up."
When Yun heard the rain, he hurriedly got up, carefully helped her up, and took a pillow to cushion her waist, so that she could lean comfortably on the head of the bed."
Mother."
Yun Tingyu took out a handkerchief and carefully wiped away the tears on her mother's face, "Everything has passed, after tomorrow, my mother's heart will stop thinking about those things, okay?"
”Mrs.
Yun said lightly: "I have already died once, and since I haven't died, I naturally won't die a second time." ”The clouds are quiet when they listen to the rain.That's not what he said.However, since the mother can dispel the idea of seeking death, it is also a good thing for them."
Listen to the rain, I'm sorry."
This belated apology finally came out, and Mrs.
Yun's face was pale with transparency, and she looked at her second son distressedly, blaming herself and remorseful, "I'm sorry." ”