My name is Ye Ling.
Wu wine a cup of spring bamboo leaves of the leaves, the day is full of angry spirits.
The collection of poems is full of secluded and distant and majestic atmosphere, but just looking at the name looks like a delicate girl.
The parents who gave me the name were definitely literate people in that generation.
My father was an opera actor and a small local figure in Mocheng, and my mother was a librarian at the Public Security University.
I'm the second oldest in the family, and I have an older brother above me.
Parents have the good wish of having both children and hope that their second child will be a girl.
According to my mom, the reactions when she was pregnant with me also confirmed that she should be a girl.
Should.
But no.
After I was born, they realized that the gender did not match their expectations, so they had to work the name and come up with a feminine name.
What they don't know is that my childhood and teenage years weren't very good because of the name.
At that time, there was no such thing as a "sissy" for men.
The boys around me always call me "little girl" and don't play with me.
Luckily, I don't like to play with them.
I learned to sing with my father at a very young age, and every morning at 5 o'clock with my brother, my father picked me up from the bed, and after school in the afternoon, other children finished their homework and went around to play.
I can't, and I have to add evening classes.
My father was a typical strict father, and my mother, until I was released from prison, had some presence in my impression.
Oh, by the way, important thing, I have a criminal record, and I was once sentenced to 13 years in prison.
The reason for imprisonment was a fight, which resulted in a person being disabled.
As for the reason for the fight, it's actually not worth mentioning, it's nothing more than being bullied by a few bad boys and resisting in a hurry.
It was 1998, and the fights and brawls in the old boy seemed to young people to be individual, bloody, and a way to provoke the world.
Even, the stubble frame of the imperial capital youth in Houhai is a popular.
Of course, this is not to shirk responsibility.
I just wanted to explain my state of mind more clearly.
I was bullied by a couple of bad boys who were my classmates.
It's not uncommon for a child like me to be bullied by someone like me, I'm used to it.
But after entering the third year of high school, they dropped out of school and became real social youths, and the methods of bullying people were naturally more spicy than the old ones in school.
So I brought a knife that day, and I remember it very well, it was a spring fruit knife.
The spring is not very bright, sometimes it can't pop out, press the button, and pull the edge of the back of the knife with your hand to pull the blade out.
The day I hurt someone with it, it fell off the chain and didn't pop out, so much so that I almost got a stick on the head.
Thankfully, I was so excited that I ducked with my head and it landed firmly on my shoulder.
I felt like I had a dislocated arm.
The pain made me lose my mind, and I followed the example of the characters in the movie, with a hideous face, screaming, holding the back of the switchblade with my teeth, and finally ripped the blade out.
Then I grabbed the person who took the lead in bullying me and stabbed me a few times.
It was winter, the coldest time of winter.
Everyone was dressed very thickly, and I used a lot of effort to wear cotton jackets, sweaters, autumn coats, and vests.
The switchblade wasn't long, and I was skeptical that it had ever stabbed him.
I always thought his exclamation was nothing more than a start.
It wasn't until the fifth day that the police came to the door.
The bastard was injured, and when he came home, he didn't even say anything, and he found gauze out of nowhere and wrapped it around a few times.
It wasn't until four days later that he suddenly fainted and was taken to the emergency room of the hospital.
The diagnosis was an injury to one kidney, an infection.
He had one kidney removed.
I wasn't sure which side of the kidney it was, and before going to court, the lawyer told me to admit my mistakes and get the other party's forgiveness.
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I did remember a lot of information, such as that he was the youngest and only son in the family, that he had four older sisters, that his father was disabled, that the family was so poor that he only had a pair of pants, and whoever went out wore it.
Her four older sisters married before they were 18 years old, in order to earn a bride price for the family.
He was raised almost entirely on the bride price of his sisters.
After he was injured, my parents used almost all their savings to compensate and knelt down several times to intercede on my behalf.
The other party was very simple when he received the money, but he just refused to let go and say a word of forgiveness.
I can understand, really.
Because in my third year in prison, the man I stabbed died.
Died of complications after surgery.
At that time, the medical conditions were very limited, and the removal of a kidney was not a joke, and if the follow-up maintenance and nursing could not keep up, it was easy to have problems.
Originally, I was sentenced to more than ten years, I was not convinced, I was so unlucky, just in time for a round of small crackdowns.
The death of the other party has made me mentally balanced in a sense.
I should be glad that it didn't cost me a life.
After being imprisoned, I quickly learned not to think about right and wrong.
I let go of all my emotions about that and I had to look forward.
This is what prison life and the long adjustment period after being released from prison taught me.
I went to prison at the age of 18 and was 29 when I came out.
Approaching the end of the year.
I have no friends, only family.
Luckily, my family never gave up on me.
Everything has changed, my father is gone, I haven't seen my father for the last time, my brother has worked, married and had children in a foreign country.
I can see that my brother still cares about me very much.
When I was released from prison, he specially asked for leave in advance, took his wife and children back to Mexico, and came to the prison with his mother to pick me up.
I am grateful to my brother, but I can also tell that my sister-in-law is worried.
She was full of vigilance against me, a young brother-in-law who had served a prison sentence, and held the child tightly, as if she was afraid that if I was not careful, I would rob her child and sell it for money.
The first meal I had when I got out of prison, the whole family ate their own thoughts.
I couldn't bear to embarrass my eldest brother, so we had a short chat while he was out of the box to smoke in the middle of the meal.
The eldest brother said that he helped me connect with the job and I could go to his city at any time.
It is a job of internship on a construction site.
Don't think crooked, it's not moving bricks.
It's to be a supervision assistant, doing some miscellaneous work, and taking construction-related certificates at the same time, which can be regarded as a way out.
But I know that my sister-in-law will not agree to this matter, even if she agrees on the surface, she is also awkward in her heart.
I said let me stay at home for a few days, I want to accompany my mother.
Big brother patted me on the shoulder and didn't say anything.
When we returned to the dining box, my sister-in-law and my mother's faces were not very good, and a discerning person could see at a glance that they were arguing because of my business, perhaps because they talked about my whereabouts.
My sister-in-law gave my brother a hard look.
I still remember that look.
It was a look I imagined countless times before I got out of prison.
I should think about it, I should be mentally prepared.
After dinner that day, my brother's family hurriedly got on the train and rushed back.
I went home with my mother.
Only the mother has not changed.
She was also the librarian in college.
It's just that I have an extra pair of reading glasses than before I was imprisoned, and she was afraid that I would be sad to see it, so she also deliberately dyed her hair black.
Of course, there have been some changes in the home, but the old things I remember are still there.
The leather sofa had been torn and the sponge inside was exposed, so my mother took a small blanket and covered it on the sofa.
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The glass coffee table and the triangular TV cabinet in the corner of the wall seemed to be greeting me as if they were familiar old friends.
At that moment, I burst into tears.
When I heard what my mother said, I burst into tears.
The mother said, "Son, there is no hurdle that cannot be overcome, it's a big deal that our mother and son depend on each other." ” It's been a long time since I've cried.
Of course, there is a dark side to life in prison, but since I went in, my expectations will always be infinitely low, and even if I am bullied, I can always pass it, and besides, I went in because I deliberately hurt me.
If the crimes are ranked according to the degree to which the prisoners dare not provoke, my crime can be ranked in the top three after homicide and drug trafficking.
I really wasn't bullied much in prison.
So, I really haven't cried in a long time.
It wasn't until tears crawled up my face like two caterpillars and tickled my cheeks that I realized I was crying.
That night, I fell asleep smelling the scent of the jasmine-scented laundry detergent on the sheets, I didn't sleep very well, I dreamed that when I was a child, I was lost, and I couldn't find my mother.
I also dreamed of a grave with the names of my father and my mother engraved on it.
I woke up early, before dawn, I woke up.
The night is so quiet, and the sound insulation of the old house is not very good.
I heard the sound of my mom rolling over in the other bedroom.
She didn't sleep either, I don't know if she was happy that I was back or worried about my future.
I made her breakfast, lunch and dinner, for a week.
I can only cook, I have worked in a prison room, and I have a bit of a spoon hand.
I lost too much money to my mother, but I can only repay her in this way.
I'm out of touch with society, I don't know what mobile phone or Internet.
I'm good for nothing but the strength of a handle.
I tried to find a job in a newspaper job posting, but it either asked me to pay a deposit and look like a liar, or I heard that I had served a prison sentence and wouldn't even give me an interview.
I'm ashamed to say that my mom helped me.
One day she came back from work and discussed with me, saying that she knew the owner of the contracted school canteen, and the owner was a good person and was willing to give me a chance to try and cook a big pot of rice for the students.
I'm good at that.
In the eyes of many people, this work has a bit of a "lowly" and "lowly" meaning, I think it is.
But for me, it's God's favor.
I remember that in the first month's salary, I bought my mother a shoulder and neck massager for a few hundred yuan, and my mother liked it and used it every day after work.
I knew that job opportunities would not come easily, so I worked hard.
When everyone else is gone, I always stay behind to tidy up my things, clean the counter regularly, and wash the floor.
I did this, and the boss looked at it, other chefs had 1800 a month, and I had 2000.
Later, he promoted me to the position of chief manager, and we didn't pay attention to the title.
Anyway, what kind of procurement of meat and vegetables, big and small affairs, as long as I see it in my eyes, I can manage and do it.
Our boss is also happy to be idle.
Later, the school was expanded and a cafeteria was added.
I discussed with my mother, gave some gifts to the school leaders, and contracted the canteen.
I'm already familiar with this job, but I definitely can't do it myself, and I have to find cooks and helpers.
Where can I find it?
I remembered my former cellmates.
There are two people who are very righteous, and they have worked with me in the prison bar, and I count the days, they should have been released from prison not long ago.
Before I got out of prison, I left each other's home addresses with them, and I followed them to find them.
One is looking for a job and hitting a wall all day long, the same as when I first started, one works for his sister's clothing store, and one is a big man, selling women's clothes, awkward, and his brother-in-law always gives him a look.
I told them about the cafeteria, and the salary was 2,500.
At that time, the salary of the stir-fry master 2500 was relatively high.
They didn't say a word, and went to the cafeteria to help me buy and store things that day.
Through them, two ex-convicts who can make ramen and noodles were introduced.
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Let's put it this way, my canteen is almost contracted by everyone who has been released from prison in the No. 1 Detention Center at a glance.
Of course, I also have to look at the character, and in general, the people who can come to work in the canteen are introduced through acquaintances.
I'm afraid to make the stakes clear, everyone knows that this working environment is not easy to come by, and they are very cautious when introducing people.
After so many years, nothing has happened.
Good days are coming, and they are really coming.
If nothing else, I've made some money over the years.
I bought a car, lived with my mother, and never bought a house.
I also paid for my brother's children to attend the most expensive private school in their area.
My brother made a special trip to pick me up from prison, and I will not forget this kindness.
My sister-in-law treated me like that, and I wouldn't hold a grudge against her.
She was just scared.
In fact, my sister-in-law is a very good person, and after I got to know her, she was good to me, and she kept introducing me to someone.
By the way, I have to talk about my acquaintance with Wu Duan.
Now he should call him Team Wu, when he came to the school to give a speech, there were several stars and bars on the epaulettes, which was so majestic.
He also brought his colleagues to my canteen for dinner, and I said I didn't want his money, and he forced dozens of dollars.
What did he eat to grow up, and he graduated for a few years, why hasn't he changed at all, and he still looks like a student.
When I met him, I didn't know that he had good grades, but I just thought that this kid was white and pure, not like a rough man who was a policeman.
I also often see female students in the restaurant secretly sending him autumn waves haha, that's what I said I don't think it's uncommon for students to have such students every year.
Students in college are like leeks, they have to cut off one stubble every year and grow another stubble.
Until that day, I drove out to run errands, and at noon, I saw him hand-to-hand combat with three people on the road.
I'm sure, I've seen his face, he's eaten in my restaurant.
The three men had knives in their hands, and he was bare-handed.
Seeing that he had been stabbed twice in the arm, the blood was pouring out.
I gritted my teeth and drove into it
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