Chapter 61 - "I thought I would't see you until class." ”Shen Dayye remembered the five, six, seven, or eight calls from Garrett that he had perfunctorily past, and scratched his head in embarrassment.“…… It's been really busy lately," Shen Dayye explained very weakly: "......
I wasn't here yesterday, but I'll go to class anyway. ”She didn't try to hide from Garrett - she just didn't feel obligated to reply to him at all times, so she fooled Garrett with all the text messages he sent her.Shen Dayye had a clear understanding of the ability of this group of Latins to flirt everywhere - and Senior Sister Shen asked herself if she didn't want to play with this naturally romantic and amorous nation.Shen Dayye never treats love as a necessity, but he never treats it as a toy.If Garrett just wanted to be friends with her, Shen Dayye might have been more in contact with him—but his attitude from the beginning was quite ambiguous, almost a 'Sima Zhao's heart is known to everyone'.Then Shen Dayye laughed again and said, "But this place is indeed closer to my office." ”-- Answered all of Garrett's questions, but kept his due distance.However, Garrett laughed softly and said to Shen Dayye, "No wonder you have breakfast here, I like the sandwiches here very much."
Have you eaten?
”Shen Dayye thought to herself that there was a big living person next to me, was it inappropriate for Garrett to talk like this-she just wanted to introduce Chen Xiaozhi over, at least as a temporary shield, but when she turned around, she found that Chen Xiaozhi had already gone away.Sunlight splashes like milk on the crimson tiles.In the noisy café, Chen Xiaozhi's tall figure stood in front of the cash register and did not look at Shen Dayye.There were several rays of light between them, like moats separated by sunlight.Shen Dayye: "......"
"I'll buy you a cup of coffee." ”Garrett said mildly, "April, what do you like to drink?"
”"......," Shen Dayye said in a daze, "I bought a vanilla latte this morning, but I spilled it all." ”-Shen Dayye felt an indescribable sourness in his heart.Chen Xiaozhi had indeed left her, Shen Dayye said in a small voice in his heart.And every day spent in this place, everything that happened, reminded her of the distance between her and Chen Xiaozhi.Chen Xiaozhi, who was the same age as her and was in love with each other for the first time, made great achievements in the field she once loved, shining like a new star in the solar system, and Shen Dayye disappeared pale into the vast sea of people.He may already have a date, he may be married, or he may have a child like her junior brother in the domestic laboratory.Shen Dayye remembered a little funny that when her junior brother was writing his graduation thesis, his daughter-in-law was busy with work, so he had to nurse the baby while writing, and was even forced to carry the baby to the office.Senior Sister Shen picked up a small ball of little milk babies during her lunch break, the baby had not yet been weaned, and she smelled a slight milk smell at the tip of her nose.Yes, unconsciously at this age.Both the younger brother and the younger brother have children.When they never met again, Shen Dayye always felt that Chen Xiaozhi was static.In his mind, his appearance stayed in the spring of 2009, always like a fifteen-year-old boy.Tall and thin, but very strong to the touch, when playing ball, he will grab a three-step dunk because of his own "come on".Buckle up and rush to her, use your body to hold her in the shadows, squint comfortably, and make your little girlfriend stand on tiptoe.It's always like that.- If you don't tiptoe, I'll screw your ears.The young Chen Xiaozhi said to her harshly and affectionately.You know what you're going to do on tiptoe?
You dwarf.But at the moment of reunion, Schrödinger's box opened, and ten years really came to her.The superposition state is broken, the wave function collapses, and the chasm finally appears.The boy she loved stood in the place she had dreamed of, young and always vigorous, as if he had never been tried.Does this person have a girlfriend and is he married?
Could it be that you have already had children?
Shen Dayye didn't ask, but every time he thought about it, he felt an indescribable soreness.But so many years of life and strife, she has learned to ignore this sore heart-Shen Dayye's life has had many unbearable moments of soreness, and she has also thought of Chen Xiaozhi in many nights and days, in the familiar or unrecognizable world.- But Shen Dayye survived.It's not even a novelty.......
"My friend had a party on Saturday. ”Garrett laughed, "The music, the drinks, and some nice snacks -- and a lot of interesting people."
You know what, you should come with me.April, do you have time for Saturday?
”Shen Dayye sat across from him, the sunlight fell into her soft hair, she thought about it, and said very confusedly, "I should have something to do during the day that day." ”Garrett smiled and tapped his fingertips on the table: "The party is in the evening, the end time is about eleven o'clock, the people who come to attend are my friends, and I will send you back after the end." ”His invitation was too thoughtful, and Shen Dayye scratched his head embarrassedly: "I shouldn't have anything to do at night......"
"But you're too busy." ”Garrett laughed, "As a graduate student, are you all so busy studying physics?"
”Shen Dayye said: "It's not physics, it's doctors. ”Garrett was stunned and said in astonishment, "You're a doctor?"
”Shen Dayye smiled: "......
Ph.D. students, who have not yet received their degrees, will probably graduate next winter.How, isn't it like?
”Garrett's face flushed slightly, and he unconsciously covered his face and said, "......
You look so small, I was a little shocked that you were in graduate school, but I didn't expect you to graduate from your PhD. ”Shen Tianye was a little ashamed and said, "......
I'm a little small. ”"But you're amazing."
Garrett complimented her: "Your performance in class is really impressive. ”Garrett said, "But I'm really in a master's degree. ”Shen Dayye smiled and said shyly, "Thank you." ”"So that's how we settled," Garrett said softly, looking at Shen Dayye in the sun, "--I'll pick you up on Saturday night." ”Shen Dayye thought for a moment and nodded gently."
Okay."
She said.The moment she nodded, she was actually a little shocked, what made her say this 'yes'?
- Maybe it's the sore wisp of mist in her heart, she thought.And she really shouldn't turn back, let alone stand still.Just like her mother, Wei Lai, and her roommates said.Then Shen Dayye stood up and went to the bar to get the finished coffee."
I'll go get it."
Shen Dayye said, "Thank you for having a treat." ”Garrett said mildly, "Thank you." ”Shen Dayye ran to the bar where the meal was served and picked up two drinks with their numbers written on them, but in the bright sunshine, Shen Dayye saw that next to the drink Garrett bought for her, there was another glass - a vanilla latte with double cream.The latte that almost overflowed with cream was condensed with a thin mist of water, and it just stayed in the sunlight.-......, "Dayleaf, I always feel that you are only one step away from collapse."
This is what her PhD roommate, who has lived with her for two years, said to Shen Dayye when she moved out of the dormitory at the end of April of this year.At that time, her roommate had already submitted a withdrawal request - the requirements for a PhD were not comparable to those of ordinary bachelor's or even master's degrees, and dropping out was a fairly common thing for PhD students, like their postponement.Not everyone gets a degree.Someone once concluded that a master's degree is like a tutor telling you that there is a rabbit in the distance, and if you catch the rabbit, you will graduate.And the Ph.D. is when the mentor tells you that I want a horse, but I don't know where that horse is, and now I'll give you a rope and you go look for it -- and you may find out that it's not a horse at all, it might be a tiger or a dinosaur.Because the master's degree is only "knowing the method", even if it meets the requirements, it is enough to prove that "I have learned the method" when I graduate.However, when a doctorate, a doctoral student, receives the highest degree in the world, he or she wants to leave something different in the world.This group of 'bald monsters' who have been ridiculed by the world and even blackened themselves are crazy about themselves are never just bald.They are trying their best to drill through the hitherto unknown territory of mankind, to break down the barriers between the known and the ignorant, to create a new path - and they will not even know if it will succeed or if my blood and sweat will be in vain.That's not even the most painful part of a PhD.The most painful part is that most of their peers have already done a career, may have been successful in the secular sense, have a car and a house, and their daughters may be able to run around the bed - but this group of doctoral students who have been running for three years earnestly, receiving a state subsidy of 1,500 a month, have to ask their parents for funding if there is an emergency, do experiments that do not know the results of the year of the monkey, and wait for the opinions of journal reviewers who do not know when they will come.Gnaw the old.Nothing.At loose ends.As they laugh at themselves, even their hair is getting less and less every day.Not many will be able to hold out - many will waving the white flag wearily on the way.And Shen Dayye's roommate is one of the people who waved the white flag.Housing in Wanliu's dormitory has always been tight, and after finally submitting a withdrawal request, her roommate and her supervisor coordinated the time to move out of the dormitory so that the new students could move in.Shen Dayye carried her luggage and sent her downstairs to say goodbye to her.In the past two years, she and Shen Dayye have relied on each other, and both of them have not returned all night, staying up in the office and counting the dawn."
Dayba, you're too tight," her roommate said distressedly, "but there's no one to rely on."
Wan Liu's spring breeze blew through the corners of the skirts of the two girls, and in the Yangchun capital, Shen Dayye said with red eyes, "Nonsense.I'm not going to break down.""
You're having too hard."
Her roommate said sadly, "But you never say it, only people who are very close to you know about it."
Shen Dayye shook his head with red eyes."
But at any rate, my friend, I wish you happiness."
Her roommate said.After the girl finished speaking, she put down the heavy luggage she was carrying, and hugged Shen Dayye briefly in the endless spring breeze.After half a year, Shen Dayye will feel an indescribable sourness when he thinks of that hug, like the last entrustment in a juvenile comic.And the opening statement that her roommate said, Shen Dayye denied it at the time, but every time she recalled that conversation later, she would find that her roommate at that time was not wrong.-- She did have too much weight on her.It's really only a little bit away from the collapse.It's just that Shen Dayye endured it every time and stuffed all the pain in his heart.…… The afternoon sun fills the room like butterflies, reflecting the blackboard with formulas written on the wall.Most of the blackboard was erased off, and the light reflected the fine chalk dust.Chen Xiaozhi held a piece of chalk in his hand, sat idlely, looked up at Shen Daye, who was walking into the office, and then directly and coldly asked the teacher: "--Shen Dayye, I think you were silent enough yesterday." ”Shen Dayye was silent for a moment and whispered, "......
I don't know what to ask. ”Chen Xiaozhi was referring to the afternoon when Shen Xiaoye was silent at Berkeley - Shen Dayye didn't know why he suddenly brought up old accounts, but he clearly felt Chen Xiaozhi's suppressed anger."
How?"
Professor Chen looked at her indifferently: "I asked you what you thought about this topic, and you couldn't say a word, I asked you what literature you had read recently, and you showed me a bunch of reviews that I read eight hundred years ago and that I read as an undergraduate.You know what a review is, right?
”…… Here comes the reckoning.Shen Dayye said embarrassedly: "......
I just watched ......"......
I just watched those."
-I'll tell you the truth," Shen Dayye's words were interrupted, and Chen Xiaozhi's voice carried the ice ballast of 10,000 years: "This is a subject that I attach great importance to—very important.I recruited you because I believe you can do a good job. ”Shen Dayye didn't explain anymore.She nodded silently, acknowledging her incompetence.Chen Xiaozhi said coldly: "I'll take you to talk to experts about the topic and feasibility, I shouldn't have taken you, understand?"
”Shen Dayye snorted and snorted."
As a result, you were silent all the way," Chen Xiaozhi slowly and methodically put the chalk between his fingers, and put his hands together: "-What?"
Don't have any ideas?
”Shen Dayye shook his head weakly.- She really didn't have an idea.Chen Xiaozhi's subject is too cutting-edge.He has always done this, never picking up people's teeth, which is the reason why he has stood at this height at such a young age, and it is also the confidence for him to humiliate Shen Dayye's doctoral project for 'lacking the minimum innovation'.If it is a topic that others have done, and the degree of refinement of the branches, Shen Dayye can actually do a good job.However, Chen Xiaozhi's assumptions and inferences are too novel and sharp—the field he has chosen is completely blank.And in addition to resisting, Shen Dayye's mind was a lump of paste that she couldn't move.Professor Chen scoffed, "Do you think I like to take students?
I never needed students. ”I've known for a long time, you said.Shen Dayye thought to himself.In the next second, Professor Chen's vocal cords trembled almost undetectably as he spoke: "--I recruited you because I believe that your words will be able to do well." ”She heard a slightly trembling voice, like the broken ice of Lake Baikal in the long winter.But when she raised her head, Chen Xiaozhi didn't look trembling at all, and even looked at her with a sincere sarcasm, his eyes narrowed."
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This is your doctor's life," Chen Xiaozhi said slowly, "-This is the ability you showed me." ”Shen Dayye only felt that his heart was about to shatter.No, Shen Dayye said weakly in his heart.I cried and fought, I was a late returner, and I am now, I had a fire in my heart that rose to the sun, but when the fire was extinguished, nothing but ashes.I used to stay up all night, I used to stay up until dawn for a dream.I was a warrior, she said weakly.-- But no one can prove it."
I don't have the idea to get out of here," Professor Chen mocked, "Don't delay my time, and don't delay yours." ”…… In this world, we only recognize results.Ability, with or without, is a word.With or without talent, TRUEorFAULSE, you will find that they are all multiple-choice questions when you go out into society.It is not a subjective short-answer discussion or calculation, nor is it a small essay.No one listens to whether you have worked hard or not, who will?
HR or journal reviewer?'
Do you know how hard he worked' has long been a mocking phrase.No one has ever wondered about the history of a loser's struggle.The public eyes care about billionaires, they care about Nobel Prize winners, but they always care because 'they are models of success'.Therefore, the public is willing to take a moment to listen to them talk about their tortuous lives, their struggles, and get a trace of resonance, chicken soup-like comfort in it.Who cares about a lowly and weak mortal in a corner?
-- The only thing that mortals can show is their "result".Being stolen is not a reason.Being distracted is also not a reason.Not having talent is not a reason either.Shen Dayye's eyes were red, and he kept telling himself that he couldn't cry.…… Because what Chen Xiaozhi said was true, she couldn't even refute a word.Chen Xiaozhi said coldly: "......
I'm not driving you away. ”Don't drive me, Shen Dayye nodded with tears in her eyes.Because I have nowhere to go.- Will I be able to return home?
I've torn my face with the little boss, and I don't want to see him anymore, it's a blessing that he didn't kick me out of the group.The Great Tutor is getting worse and worse, and I am already recuperating in the hospital, and I am still more than a year away from graduation.This is her original ideal hometown, and it is also her last safe zone."
Think about it carefully," Professor Chen said, sitting in front of the blackboard, trying his best to endure, "think clearly about what to do, how to do it, and where there are difficulties.""
I mean anything," he paused and said hoarsely, "come to me directly." ”Then Chen Xiaozhi threw the chalk, tried his best to endure it, and said to Shen Dayye: "Go back." ”