Chapter 67 - "I had a dream of my own entry into the universe. ”The night wind blew, and Shen Dayye suddenly said.-- I had a dream of going into the universe alone.She thought.Man can't enter the universe, the universe is too cold, if you don't wear a spacesuit, you will lose consciousness in only 14 seconds, the air in your lungs will pour out of your body like a tide, all the □□ on your body will begin to boil, and you will turn from 'man' into a floating mass, a lonely asteroid.Shen Dayye said under the cover of the moon flowers: "But I didn't wear a spacesuit - in space, I wore the jeans and T-shirt that I usually wear when I go out to play, floating in it, but I can breathe, and I don't die because of it, just like a fish under the water." ”"When I close my eyes," Shen Dayye said, holding the telescope tube, as if talking to himself, "--The light of those stars reddened my eyelids, and everything was right in front of my eyes." ”Chen Xiaozhi looked at her in a daze."
I swim in it—" she said as if telling a story, "swim to the singularity of the primordial explosion, and with a wave of your arms you can travel through the halls of stars, and slide to the borders of the universe, as soft as mud all over your body."
I thought as I swam that this was probably why my dad signed me up for swimming lessons, and he knew I would come here one day. ”-- In order to exercise his daughter's cardiopulmonary function, her father enrolled her for a swimming lesson at three o'clock in the afternoon every Sunday.On Sunday afternoon, in the warm sun of the District of Columbia, Shen Dayye and his father, who was still alive at that time, walked in the campus sprinkled with warm sun.Her father would buy his daughter a walnut-flavored ice cream, carry his daughter's bag, face the warm sun, and tell stories to the house.Yes, she signed up for swimming lessons, Chen Xiaozhi thought blankly.Then Shen Dayye laughed, and said teasingly: "It's good for you to listen to it, it's not true, it's just a sudden reminder." ”Chen Xiaozhi snorted dryly, but he didn't look away—he couldn't take his eyes off.For Chen Xiaozhi, Shen Dayye's body was like a floating star-like light, but when he laughed, he was like spring water.Shen Dayye has always had a layer of light on his body, the boy thought.His thoughts wandered like the wind.In those days when Ah Shi was absent from this young man's life, little Ah Shi, who was far away in a foreign country, went to school every day, participated in a kind of science fair called ScienceFair, went to audit university classes, looked at his father with a challenging eye, but relied on him very much.She's an unwavering picky eater when she eats, and she's a squeamish bag that can be annoying—but she's always been a warrior.Her steps are unwavering, her goals are clear, and her yearning never stops.For so many years, Chen Xiaozhi has never seen someone who is more determined than Shen Dayye's steps.- Shen Dayye was born for this.This was true when he told the origin of the universe at the age of five, knowing nothing, and when he reappeared in his life at the age of fifteen.Chen Xiaozhi couldn't even imagine what Xiao Ah Shi might look like.That fluffy little Ah Shi should have looked like this—she should have poetry and space in her heart, longing for her father, who had been talking about her in the past, standing at the top of all her peers, and making everyone impressed by her—and she smiled and said to the people next to her, 'I had a dream of going into the universe alone'.Ah Shi's love for all things is about to overflow from her immature soul.- No calls at night.At eleven o'clock in the night, it was still dark, and there was no sign of a call in other buildings, fifteen-year-old Shen Dayye sat at the dining table, wrapped in Chen Xiaozhi's down jacket, trembling and staring at the little fire in the kitchen."
I've never seen you like this," Chen Xiaozhi cut Jiang angrily and said, "Shen Dayye, where did you get the trouble essence, you Americans are like this?"
One moment I want to look at the stars, the next I start sneezing, and after I sneeze, I start to look at me with my eyes-" Shen Dayye twitched the tip of his nose pitifully: "......
You don't have heating or air conditioning in your house.I had a runny nose. ”Chen Xiaozhi clicked all the cutting boards and said angrily: "Are you troublesome!"
Can't exercise!
”Shen Dayye snorted in response to him, took out a piece of toilet paper blindly, and blew his nose.Chen Xiaozhi: "......"
The over-tempered Young Master Chen resigned himself to the light of the flashlight, cut the ginger into sections, found the green onion, pressed the green onion on the cutting board, and was about to chop the green onion into the pot - it was at that moment that Shen Dayye almost like an electrocardiogram ordered him in a low voice: "Chen Xiaozhi, I don't eat shallots, don't cut shallots." ”Chen Xiaozhi: "............"
Chen Xiaozhi said: "You are really amazing." ”Shen Dayye was in a daze at the flickering candlelight, and there was a popping sound from the kitchen of throwing ginger slices directly into the pot.Such a quiet night.Fifteen-year-old she unconsciously swung her legs, but the next second she slammed into a heavy thing, a question mark appeared on Shen Dayye's head, and when she looked down, she saw her schoolbag.Shen Dayye: "......"
Shen Dayye suddenly had a strange feeling, as if something was calling her.- She dragged her bag up, and found the correspondence book that she hadn't opened in a long time.In the kitchen, Chen Xiaozhi stared at the pot of ginger soup in a daze, the subtle sweetness diffused in the dark night, Shen Dayye took advantage of the faint candlelight to open the communication book - the last page Sure enough, a folded letterhead appeared out of thin air.- Shen Dayye began to realize that this correspondence that broke the closed loop of time and connected Shen Dayye, who was ten years older and had become gentle and desperate, and her young self, had a clear goal.…… I don't want you to have something you regret.In the first letter, another one she said: I want to push you out of all the detours.But in that case, why did the world allow the two of them to write letters?
At the age of fifteen, she still doesn't understand.She unfolded the letter.The letter was actually densely written—the first thing that came up was that of the following advice, which you could only refer to." ”Shen Dayye: "......?"
”"First, don't associate with Chen Xiaozhi."
The letter reads.Shen Dayye was stunned for a moment, raised his head and looked in the direction of the Chen family's kitchen - the fire in the kitchen was faint, and the sweetness of the ginger soup without shallots slowly diffused, Chen Xiaozhi leaned on the edge of the stove, the young man's figure was long and the silhouette was handsome."
He is my first love, and naturally yours, the only boy you have ever been tempted to love in your life.You will break up with him before spring comes.But you will miss him so much that you will never be able to come out, and at the age of twenty-five, you will still remember his appearance in the drunken night."
The second paragraph reads: "Second, CPhO will get the ranking after the restart, so don't continue to play in the finals."
Shen Daye: "............"
"The ranking of the semi-finals is very sufficient for entering high school.You can wait for the finals to re-register in the first year of high school."
Shen Dayye was slightly stunned."
But that's not the most important thing, and it's not something that affects me so much.I don't want to force you, just refer to it.But the third one below, I want you to do it."
Shen Dayye settled down and went to read the next paragraph—but the next paragraph only had a shallow sentence: "Third.Give up all unrealistic dreams.You know what it is - you always know."
The candle flame jumped slightly.
-When Chen Xiaozhi came out with ginger soup, Shen Dayye was holding his cheeks in a daze.He left a pink candle for Shen Dayye on the dining table.The candle was a birthday gift he received from a classmate in the first year of junior high school, it should have been bought from a gift shop, there was a fiery and vulgar love on it, Chen Xiaozhi said thank you to the classmate after taking it, and threw it away when he got home, but he didn't expect it to come in such a handy later.Later, he heard that the classmate who gave the candle seemed to have some meaning for him, but Chen Xiaozhi never thought about the word 'like' deeply.The candle flame flickered, and Chen Xiaozhi's delicate face stared at the candle blankly.Chen Xiaozhi suddenly remembered that in the romance movie, the reason why lovers like to go to candlelight dinners is that 'the firelight will illuminate people very beautifully' - Chen Xiaozhi had seen it at that time, and he had never felt that way.But when his Ah Shi was gathered in the light of the candle, Chen Xiaozhi saw her long eyelashes, and immediately remembered the words in the movie, and even his heartbeat was chaotic for a moment.Were you beautiful when you were a child?
Chen Xiaozhi recalled in a mess.Was she so good-looking when she was a kid - did other bastards covet my Ah Shi back then?"
The ginger soup is cooked."
He knocked on the table quietly and said, "What do you think?"
”Shen Dayye finally came back to her senses, picked up the ginger soup and drank it very painfully—Chen Xiaozhi sat down beside her, and saw the girl's red and delicate lips holding the edge of the bowl through the candle flame.The candle danced, the girl's neck was white and slender, and her cheeks were delicate and beautiful, all of which resembled the incarnation of Aphrodite, the goddess of love.That's your hair, Chen Xiaozhi, a voice sprayed him passionately, are you a brute.In his sight, Shen Dayye drank the ginger soup he boiled with a mouthful and a frown.The voice was silent for a while, and after a long time, he said, you are indeed a brute.Chen Xiaozhi: "......"
Shen Dayye finished drinking, unconsciously licked the soup at the corner of his mouth, looked at Chen Xiaozhi and asked, "......
Speaking of which, I see that you still have the name Ah Shi on that book, who is that Ah Shi?
”Chen Xiaozhi: "......?
”"I see that what you painted, it should be a person," Shen Dayye wondered: "Chen Xiaozhi, didn't you tell me that it was a pig you raised......"
Chen Xiaozhi calmed down, and said with a thick face: "I didn't say that she was a real pig." ”Shen Dayye: "......"
Shen Dayye showed a face full of disgust: "Mouthful." ”"I'll clean up the guest room for you," Chen Xiaozhi said again: "You sleep in it for one night, and I'll feed you and send you home tomorrow morning." ”He was about to get up as he spoke, but then at that moment, his wrist was suddenly firmly held by Shen Dayye.The girl's hands were very small, and the fingers were also slender, and she didn't seem to have much strength, but when she firmly grasped Chen Xiaozhi's wrist, she pulled him so that he couldn't move."
Don't go yet," she said, shuddering."
You have to stay away from him, Ye Ye."
The letter is long gone.- I tried to stay away from him.Fifteen-year-old thought.Outside the letter, fifteen-year-old Shen Dayye stared at Chen Xiaozhi, firmly grabbed his wrist, and said, "I have a question for you, and I've been putting up with it for a while. ”Chen Xiaozhi: "You say." ”......
"You're going to break up with him before spring comes."
I just read the letter.
――What year is the spring?
Every year there is spring."
Did you get it?"
It will be written in every letter.-- I've received every single one."
He doesn't like you at all!"
Shen Dayye was silent for a moment.“…… I ask you. ”The fifteen-year-old girl stared at the boy, giving birth to a regurgitated body, and grasped his wrist firmly.Then the young woman almost took out all her courage and asked Chen Xiaozhi like an early explosion under the flickering candle flame and the starry sky: "Chen Xiaozhi, do you like me?"
”-………………………… Late at night, September 2018.-- How did he answer?
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Twenty-five-year-old Shen Dayye curled up in the quilt, tears almost falling down like broken threads.In the dead of night, her head hurt from crying, and tears dripped into her pillow, but she didn't even want to cry - as long as she didn't cry, the tears of the night could remain in the darkness before dawn.Shen Dayye's mobile phone screen was black on one side, the message was all turned on Do Not Disturb, and all the students on WeChat were discussing the reform of the graduation requirements this time.Isn't it just that you can't finish your job, Shen Dayye laughed while crying.Every year, the number of doctoral students who can't finish their studies is gone, and the on-time graduation rate of doctoral students in some schools is only 30%, and not even all doctoral students in school can get a degree.But why me?
――Whether it's Shen Dayye or April, the name represents the top 1%.Growing up, I was kind to others, I did all the good things I could, I shed tears and blood, if as Churchill said, 'blood, toil, tears and sweat', I gave everything, but why?
Why did I end up here?
Why do the people who love me and support me leave one by one, and I cry at the funeral, but I can't bring anyone back?
-- Everything in the world has a voice, but not even one individual responds.Shen Tianye was so uncomfortable that she trembled all over, and even almost vomited, and then she felt pain in her abdomen even when she was lying down, as if she had relapsed from a chronic illness that had accompanied her for half of her doctoral career.Omeprazole didn't bring it here.The long night was long, and Senior Sister Shen was crying while sitting on the corner of the bed to endure the pain of her fasting.She was curled up in a ball, her delicate shoulder blades thinly bulging.Outside the window, a line of fish belly white lit up slightly, and the sky was dawning.The first rays of heavenly light shone into Shen Dayye's teary hazy eyes.She looked at the white sun and the vast horizon, and tears rolled down one by one—but the moment they rolled out of her eyes, they slipped into her cheeks, which were red from crying.Don't cry, Shen Dayye tenaciously told himself: No matter how much you don't want this kind of life, you have to continue to work hard to live."......"
Twenty-five-year-old Shen Dayye has no longer had anything to do with squeamishness, she is extremely self-controlled, and spontaneously stopped crying.Then she pulled out a piece of paper and wiped the water marks on her face.-......
"What are you going to do?"
”Zhang Zhen sighed: "Anyway, I have to postpone it according to the original standard, I don't care." ”Shen Dayye sighed, shook his head and said, "I can't do anything." ”Zhang Zhen said: "Your little boss is so fucking not human, you are also stupid, Shen Dayye, your own article, at least a second work at that time, if you pull it off, the student's second work can be regarded as a work." ”In the office, Shen Dayye said to himself: "Zhenzhen, do you remember what I sent?"
”Zhang Zhen recalled: "......
ScienceAdvances?
”-- The number one sub-journal of Science.Although it is not as good as his boss Science, it is more than enough than the next publication.Zhang Zhen: "............"
Zhang Zhen finally reacted to the title of the publication and the hidden story behind it, and sighed sincerely: "......
It's a fucking stupid story. ”Shen Dayye: "Who said it wasn't." ”Shen Daye said flatly: "According to the new requirements, I have to have two articles in the first district of the Chinese Academy of Sciences to graduate, but at the beginning of the year, the journal Sci.Adv., along with Nature Communications and PNAS, was demoted to the second district of the Chinese Academy of Sciences. ”Zhang Zhen said in disbelief: "This is really stupid......
"So I can only comfort myself," Shen Dayye said lightly: "Even if the paper that was snatched away is in my hands, I won't be able to finish it." ”Zhang Zhen said: "You know that you can - the Chinese Academy of Sciences is stupid, and the teacher in charge of the defense in the graduate school is not stupid." ”Shen Dayye smiled palely and said to Zhang Zhen, "But it will feel better to think like this." ”"......"
Zhang Zhen was silent for a moment: "......
Be. ”After all, once the articles that were given out were adopted, they could not be withdrawn.The California sun fell on Shen Dayye's body, Shen Dayye turned his pen, and was about to do the task assigned by Chen Xiaozhi, but the office door was pushed open in the next second.Twenty-five-year-old Chen Xiaozhi said coldly: "--Shen Dayye, you come out." ”This time he spoke in Chinese.
-Shen Dayye is actually a little vain when he walks.She sometimes thought it was just a nightmare, but her reason knew it was true.Professor Chen waited at the door of the student office.He wore a pair of gold-rimmed glasses today, but he didn't seem to sleep well - Shen Dayye's complexion was even worse, and his hair was unkempt, and he didn't sleep all night at first glance.As soon as Shen Dayye pushed the door out, Chen Xiaozhi slammed the door of the office, and with a bang, the sound echoed in the building.Shen Dayye: "......"
She lowered her eyes and shouted obediently: "......
Teacher. ”Chen Xiaozhi shook the paper in his hand and mocked: "Do you still know how to call the teacher?"
”Shen Daye: "......"
She didn't know what to say, her whole person was wooden, and she couldn't make any expressions, so she had to bow her head meekly."
I told you before," Chen Xiaozhi shook the paper in the corridor where people passed by, and said, "How to deal with this place, do I have a hand-in-hand teaching you?"
Shen Dayye, do you really do things with your brains?
”Shen Dayye leaned over to take a look, and found that in the process of dealing with it, there was indeed a very serious mistake that Chen Xiaozhi had talked about.Shen Dayye opened his lips palely.She apologized, but her vocal cords struggled to make a sound, and she was on the verge of a breakdown, and she still hasn't fully recovered.Chen Xiaozhi said mockingly: "-Come in." ”Shen Dayye: "......?"
”"I'll let you into the office," Chen Xiaozhi said sadistically, holding the doorknob of his office, "-Or do you want to be sprayed in the corridor?"
”