Maybe because it's winter and the weather is cold, I suddenly became very greedy and able to eat.
Sometimes I can't sleep in the middle of the night thinking about something delicious.
Huo Qubing specially ordered the kitchen to have skilled cooks on duty at night, so that I could eat at any time when I wanted to eat in the middle of the night.
Although he told me that I could wake him up when eating alone was boring, but he had to go to the military camp to lead troops to drill during the day, and he had to go to court.
I didn't want him to work too hard, so I tried my best to sneak out as quietly as possible and finish eating.
Touch it back later.
He has long been accustomed to me tossing and turning beside him, and I use my hands and feet lightly when walking.
As long as he is asleep, he rarely notices it.
But when he went back, because it was already the end of winter, his body was chilly when he got into bed.
Although I tried my best to avoid his body, he could still notice it, and he pulled me into his arms in a daze, and warmed my body with his own.
Every move he made was done without thinking, just subconsciously, which made me feel warmer in my heart.
After Huo Qubing said he would give me time, he no longer made some observations to test my inner words and actions like before.
Even if I occasionally wandered away, he would never be angry or tempted like before.
Instead, he would quietly walk away.
Open, give me a space to deal with it myself.
When I was sad before, I thought that God never seemed to care for me.
It's okay to be abandoned by your parents as soon as you were born.
Anyway, you didn't get it, so you can't say you're sad about losing it.
But it allowed me to meet my father, and allowed me to be held in the palm of my hand and pampered.
However, when I truly became a human being, attached to and enjoying my father's love, it took it away overnight.
The friend I grew up with died, and the person I respected and admired the most forced my father to death.
It was nothing more cruel than that.
Wandering in the desert and yellow sand is not bitter, but what is bitter is the heart of a girl in the bustling city of Chang'an.
If the first meeting by the Crescent Moon Spring was just an unintentional act of God, then the meeting again in Chang'an City became like a deliberate teasing.
At that time, I asked God countless times, if there was no fate, why did we meet?
If we met, why did my worries become empty?
God seemed to really take pleasure in making things difficult and tormenting me.
But now, lying in Huo Qu's arms, looking at his sleeping face, I think God is taking care of me if he can give him to me, even though there are still things between us, and he can't even marry me.
I held his hand.
Although he was asleep, he subconsciously held my hand in return.
I gently picked up his hand and kissed it.
As long as our hands are still holding each other, we can get through anything, whether it is the Western Regions, Chang'an, the battlefield, the palace, or even life and death.
Huo Qubing came back from the previous morning, and I was still sleeping in bed.
He slapped his forehead and sighed: "I used to hear the veterans in the military camp talk about women, saying that the woman after marriage and the woman before marriage are completely two people.
I just didn't believe it, but now that I see you, I really believe it.
The sun is about to turn to the west again, but you haven't gotten up yet, aren't you hungry?"
I curled up in the quilt and didn't move.
"I ate something head first, and my body was just lazy.
I didn't want to move at all."
He put his hand into my neck.
I was shocked by him and hurriedly avoided it.
He tried to use his hand again.
Bing me, I hurriedly sat up while he helped me get my clothes, "Get up.
Yipinju has launched a new dish.
I heard Zhao Ponu said it tastes very good.
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Let's go try it."
I swallowed my saliva and regained my energy.
He looked at me dumbfounded, "What else are you thinking about now besides eating?"
I tilted my head and thought for a moment, then looked at him lovingly, "There's only one more thing."
Before he spoke, he smiled and his voice became very soft and soft, "What is it?"
I said seriously: "The fungus soup we had last night was really delicious."
His smile suddenly stopped mid-smile, he reached out and hit me on the forehead, and said angrily: "Hurry up and wash up."
As soon as he entered Yipinju, he saw Master Jiu.
He was dressed in aqua blue robe, as pure as the first snow on the mountain.
While listening to Amaterasu's words, he smiled gently, but even his smile was full of melancholy.
The moment he saw me, there was pain in his eyes.
I couldn't help but stop, neither forward nor backward.
I was a little worried and looked at Huo Qubing.
Although his face was not good-looking, he gave me a warm smile. , "If you don't want to eat, we can go back."
His warm smile slowly relaxed his originally twitching heart.
Escape is not the answer.
I can't always run away with Qu Bing as soon as I see Master Jiu.
This would be unfair to Qu Bing.
I smiled at Qu Bing and said, "I want to eat."
He held my hand tightly and his eyes lit up.
Amaterasu stood up and saluted Huo Qubing.
Jiuye smiled slightly and invited us to sit down.
Amaterasu asked: "Xiaoyu, what do you want to eat?"
I smiled and said, "Qu Bing said he would bring me here to eat a new dish.
What's its name?"
He turned to look at Huo Qu Bing.
He frowned, "I forgot to ask for the name.
Forget it, let them list all the new dishes they have recently launched."
Make one."
I curled my lips, "Do you think I'm a pig?
Do you think I can finish eating?"
Qu Bing made a surprised expression, "Depending on your behavior these days, what do you think I can think of you?
Of course you can finish eating, why can't you finish it?"
I wrinkled my nose, snorted, and twisted Ignore him too much.
When he met Jiu Ye's dark and obscure eyes, he realized that the way he and Huo Qubing used to get along just now were very intimate in his eyes, and this unintentional intimacy was like a sharp sword, with just a slight flicker of light.
It hurt him deeply.
A carved silver basin with a lid was brought up, and the waiter introduced it enthusiastically: "Dragon meat from the sky, donkey meat from the ground, sweet, salty and mellow, a good tonic in winter."
As soon as he opened the lid, I smelled the smell, but I didn't.
I found it tempting, but my stomach churned, and I rushed to the window to vomit.
The waiter was so shocked that he quickly served me tea and hand me a handkerchief.
Huo Qubing gently stroked my back, his eyes full of worry, "What's wrong with me?"
I drank a few sips of tea and felt a little better, "I don't know, I just suddenly felt nauseous and wanted to vomit."
Mr.
Jiu, who was sitting next to him, had a pale face and a hint of despair in his brows.
He ordered the waiter, "Remove all the strong smell of meat and fish first, make tea again, and add a small amount of tangerine peel to the tea."
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Huo Qubing helped me sit back on the table, "Are you feeling better?
Do you want to eat something?
Or go back and see the doctor?"
Master Jiu stared at me for a while and suddenly said, "Let me feel your pulse."
I looked at Qu Bing, and he smiled and said, "I forgot for a moment that there is a doctor with superb medical skills here."
Master Jiu's hand gently touched my wrist, and the fingertips were actually colder than ice.
Although he tried his best to restrain himself, I could still feel his fingers trembling slightly.
After checking his pulse for a long time, Huo Qubing couldn't bear it anymore and asked anxiously: "What's wrong?"
Master Jiu slowly took back his hand and smiled, but that was such a bleak smile, "Congratulations, General Huo, you are going to be a father."
After Huo Qubing was stunned for a while, he grabbed Master Jiu's arm and was so ecstatic that he couldn't believe it, "What did you say?"
Master Jiu turned his head and looked out the window.
His lips trembled slightly.
He wanted to answer Huo Qubing's question, but his voice was stuck in his throat.
Amaterasu pushed Huo Qubing away and said in a cold voice: "Jiu Ye said that General Huo is going to be a father."
Then he said softly to Jiu Ye: "Jiu Ye, let's go back."
Master Jiu looked out the window and nodded lightly.
He always paid attention to etiquette, but he was so panicked that he didn't even say "goodbye" and left without looking back.
Huo Qubing looked at me with an ecstatic smile on his face, and I sat in a daze.
Although it happened suddenly, it happened sooner or later.
If it were a different occasion and a different time, I would probably be speechless with joy.
But today I held my wrist and it was still cold.
Huo Qubing suddenly picked me up and strode outside.
I cried out, "What are you doing?"
Yipinju suddenly fell into silence, and everyone stared at us dumbfounded.
I was so ashamed that I buried my face in his chest, wishing that he could disappear immediately.
Huo Qubing didn't care, or in his eyes these people didn't exist at all.
He carried me into the carriage and told the waiting attendants, "Go to the palace immediately and ask for the best doctor."
I grabbed his arm and said, "Don't let this be a matter between us.
I like to keep things quiet.
Once we call in the imperial doctor, things will definitely get into trouble.
It's not like there are only good doctors in the palace."
He beat his leg and called to the attendant, "I was so happy that I forgot to think about anything.
But" he smiled and held my hand, "I really want to yell a few times now, I'm going to have Son."
His joy infected me, I leaned on his shoulder and smiled, suddenly reacted and pinched him, "What do you mean if it's my daughter, you won't be happy?"
He shook his head hurriedly, "I'm happy, I'm all happy.
If it's a boy, I can teach him to ride a horse and teach him to hunt.
If a girl is also happy, how could I not like having a little Yu'er?
I want both boys and girls, so many If we have a few children, we can organize a Cuju team to play Cuju in the future.
Father and son will play together, and we will make sure that the opponent will be kicked to pieces and lose their pants. " I was stunned when I heard, "You thought it was a sow giving birth to piglets?"
He looked ecstatic and said, "I don't dare to ask for my ears, but I have my own wish."
I wanted to pinch him again, but I thought this person was rough-skinned and thick-flesh, so it wouldn't be of much use.
The person who goes in and out of the battlefield without blinking an eye despite the rain of swords, guns and arrows, the little strength on my hand is just scratching his itch, and it is simply a waste of my energy.
Frowning and closing his eyes, he suddenly said in a tight voice, "Yu'er, what's wrong with you?"
I ignored him and leaned on his shoulder without saying a word.
He suddenly became anxious and shouted outside: " Hurry up and go home."
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Just after he finished speaking, he added: "Don't be upside down."
There was a muffled crack from the driver's whip outside.
He was probably about to whip the horse, but he quickly withdrew his force and landed elsewhere.
He asked respectfully: "General, do you mean faster or slower?
If you go faster, there will definitely be some bumps."
I couldn't hold it back, I pursed my lips and laughed.
Huo Qubing reacted and lightly slapped my hand, "Now you only rely on these crooked skills to punish me."
"Who said I can't beat you?
From now on, I will have to rely on crooked ways."
I covered my mouth and laughed, "I still have a hostage here, let's see how dare you bully me." ―――――――――――――― I don’t know what it’s like to be pregnant.
Anyway, except that I can’t smell the overpowering smell of meat, everything is as normal as possible.
I used to feel lazy at first, but now I’m exactly the same as before.
Eat well, sleep well.
If Huo Qubing hadn't always stared at me with a stern look, warning me to always remember that I am not only responsible for myself, I might have added, "Have a good time."
As soon as I reached the swing frame, Huo Qubing called from behind, "Yu'er."
I could only turn around and walk away.
Finally, on a sunny and warm winter day, the moment he opened his eyes, he shouted: "We should go horse riding outside the city."
Huo Qubing said without opening his eyes: "Don't forget your current identity."
Isn't identity just as much as there is in the stomach?
What's the fuss about having a villain?
Besides, you can't even see it now.
According to Hong Gu, women must learn to turn a blind eye.
Because if a woman stares at a man all the time, the final result will definitely not be that the man is really pinned to her side.
It is often the man who builds a new nest in order to avoid the ubiquitous gaze.
But if a man stares at a woman all the time, Honggu was stunned for a while when I asked her, and then she said, the woman should smile secretly, so that he would not have time to look at other women.
I am very depressed, unfair, so unfair.
In the evening, I told Huo Qubing what Honggu told me, exchanging men and women, "Men should learn to turn a blind eye and not stare at a woman all the time.
If you keep staring at her, the result will definitely be wrong."
It's enough to suggest to him that he should take a look at his recent behavior.
He was looking at the map of the Huns in front of several cases.
After listening, he said calmly without raising his head: "No one will risk his life, and I will not give you a chance."
I snorted angrily and looked left and right, front and back, inside the house, outside the house, outside the house and inside the house.
I still couldn't find anything that I could play with within the scope of his permission.
He sighed and held on.
He looked at me, "Are you really that boring?"
I pursed my lips and nodded, "The girls around me have all been scolded by Uncle Chen.
Now one or two of them are looking at me and refuse to do anything with me.
In the past, I could play with Qing Wu or Xin Yan and the others on the swings.
I can choose the bride, play hide-and-seek, touch the blind man, and go out with you to ride horses, hunt, and climb mountains.
But now I can’t do anything, and I can’t read too much.
What do you mean, reading while pregnant hurts your eyes, and I can’t move needle or thread.
What do you think I can do?”
He said in confusion: "It seems that nothing can be done, so how did others get here?"
"The mother-in-law you invited said that waiting for childbirth is the most important and most important thing for a woman to do.
Of course, what else needs to be done is to eat more, sleep more, rest more, concentrate on making the belly bigger, and then give birth to the baby."
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I put my hands on it.
There is a big raised ball shape on the belly.
He laughed, waved me over, held me in his arms and sat on his lap, "I didn't know you were so boring.
I will spend more time with you in the future.
Well" he thought for a moment, "Okay, you read I have read many military books, but I rarely read them.
We just discuss the war on this sand table, each occupying a territory, and then attack each other. " All the depression in my heart immediately dissipated, I smiled and clapped my hands, "This is not exciting enough, let's make another bet."
He rubbed his chin on my forehead, "It's all up to you.
After you sell your business How much wealth has been lost?
Don’t cry.”
I smiled and said, "Don't think that because the Huns regard you as the undefeated god of war, you will definitely be able to defeat me.
First, the Huns don't understand you as well as I do.
Second, we fight based on the Huns' territory.
My understanding of terrain and climate is beyond your reach.
Thirdly, don’t forget Zhao Kuo’s example.
Talking about war on paper and actually fighting are two different things.
Otherwise, Zhao She, the famous general of the generation, would not be able to defeat the son of Embroidered Pillow.”
His expression suddenly became serious, "That's just the last reason.
Although Zhao She was defeated by Zhao Kuo back then, he still knew that his son could not defeat him at all.
No matter what the outcome is, I will know in my heart who will win.
No.
The first two reasons do make sense."
He took my hands in his.
In my heart, he whispered in my ear: "You are the only one in the world.
I have never planned to be wary.
I even hoped that you would come into my heart from the beginning.
It is strange to say that I have been wary of you since I was a child.
A very serious person, but I know that you are worthy of my heart, and my intuition is not wrong. " My nose suddenly became sore, and I turned my head to press a kiss on his face.
I leaned on his shoulder and was silent for a while.
Fang smiled and asked, "This seems to be a strategy to attack the enemy's heart.
You started to soften the enemy before the war started."
Do you want me to stay here and be soft?"
He laughed loudly, "Do you think this is a reserved retreat?
Even if you lose, you can just say that you don't want to kill me.
You can build a reputation for benevolence and righteousness, and save capital for the next fight."
Both foxes smiled harmlessly and honestly.
I casually took out a piece of white silk, picked up a pen and wrote down the bet, took a look at the doctor, smiled and wrote a double bet on the side. ―――――――――――――――――― Although the main force of the Xiongnu fled to Mobei, they still did not give up plundering the borders of the Han Dynasty.
At the end of autumn, more than 10,000 Xiongnu cavalry broke into the Dingxiang and Youbeiping areas, killing and plundering more than 1,000 Han Dynasty border residents.
After careful consideration, Liu Che finally decided to send a large army to Mobei to completely eliminate the Xiongnu army.
Huo Qubing is getting busier and busier, but no matter how busy he is, he always tries his best to spend as much time with me as possible.
If there are matters that can be discussed in the mansion, he also works in the mansion as much as possible.
Many of his subordinates have become regular visitors to Huo's mansion.
My figure has not yet appeared, and except for the three or four reliable women and girls who serve me personally, no one else in the house knows that I am pregnant.
The new year is approaching, and Qubing has other happy events, so he ordered to go down and celebrate well.
Everyone was awarded a heavy reward, and the whole mansion was filled with joy.
The boys and girls were busy decorating and decorating the mansion happily, going in and out.
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It's lively.
The sandbox debate game between me and Huo Qubing was also very interesting.
I only remember saying that I knew him, but I forgot that he didn’t know me.
I didn’t have any advantage.
I lost seven or eight out of ten games.
If he really gets to the battlefield, coupled with his momentum, everyone will definitely lose.
Later, something moved in my mind.
Instead of thinking of myself as myself, I thought of myself as Yizhixie.
I carefully figured out every force and how Yizhixie would distribute and use it.
I also used my familiarity with the terrain and weather to find ways to contain it.
Depleting Huo Qubing's troops only made Huo Qubing nod his head in approval.
The two of them traveled thousands of miles on a small sand table and conquered almost the entire Xiongnu Empire.
There were many deviations in the maps drawn by the Han Dynasty.
After each debate, I told Huo Qubing the deviations in detail.
He was also very studious and would often ask for verification and ask about the local climate, customs and customs over and over again until he was familiar with them. .
The group of literati outside only saw Qubing's series of victories, but the efforts he made in such a lowly manner were known to a few people.
From Li Guang to Gongsun Ao, other generals would get lost as soon as they led their troops, but Qubing often went deep alone.
With men and troops, they can move freely across the Huns' territory and attack them unprepared.
How much effort and effort would it take for a Han Chinese who grew up in Chang'an City to be familiar with the terrain of the Western Regions and the Xiongnu countries?
Huo Qubing accompanied me to watch the servants hanging the lanterns.
I smiled and pointed to the words on the lanterns, "You seem to have lost your mansion to me.
Shouldn't the word "Huo" be changed to gold letters?
He smiled and hugged me from behind, resting his chin on my neck and rubbing it, and said absently: "Okay, just change the plaque in front of the house and change it to Jinfu.
You've lost almost all your money." , the remaining money is enough to support a whole family of people.”
The servants on the side lowered their heads attentively, raised their heads attentively, and fixed their eyes firmly on a certain point, as if they were only focused on working and did not see anything.
I have been trained by Huo Qubing to have a thicker skin now, especially in this house, I am already used to his hugs and hugs.
What this person wants to do will never worry about the presence or absence of others.
I pulled his hand away, pursed my lips and smiled, "From now on, people from the Huo family will be recognized immediately as soon as they leave the house."
He asked casually: "Why?"
I turned to face him, imitating the behavior of several servants, and put my eyes together, staring at a certain point, "One and two have become eye-to-eye, this is not an obvious sign."
He glanced at the servants working nearby, then looked at me, twisted my nose, kissed my eyes, and couldn't help but laugh, "Don't you learn to be cross-eyed too."
Chen Ankang and Zhao Ponu were chatting and laughing when they happened to see this scene.
Chen Ankang had probably heard a lot about Huo Qubing and me, and his endurance was obviously higher than that of Zhao Ponu, who was standing next to him.
Although his smile was a little fake, his expression was still normal.
Zhao Ponu was staring down at the toes of his shoes.
When I saw his look, the initial embarrassment disappeared.
I just said in a low voice, "Another eye-to-eye contact" and couldn't help but laugh.
He bowed hastily to them and walked away in a hurry while smiling.
Behind him, Huo Qubing also laughed under his breath.
He coughed several times before saying, "They are already waiting in the study.
Let's go over." ――――――――――――――――― In the fourth year of Yuanshou, it is the beginning of summer.
A hot summer has just begun.
The whole court of the Han Dynasty was filled with the aura of marching directly to the Xiongnu's lair.
All generals, regardless of their age or rank, are striving to be the first, hoping to be lucky enough to participate in the largest and most distant war in the history of the Han Dynasty so far, and to leave a mark in the history of the entire Han Empire. own name.
After careful consideration, Liu Che decided to send 300,000 troops to go far beyond the Great Wall to completely disintegrate the forces of the Xiongnu Chanyu and King Zuoxian.
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Wei Qing and Huo Qubing were appointed as commanders-in-chief.
Each led 50,000 troops and divided into two groups to penetrate into the hinterland of the Xiongnu.
In order to ensure victory and unite the entire army, Wei Qing's subordinates were all middle-aged and elderly generals who had followed him in many battles, and Huo Qubing's subordinates were also young generals whom he favored.
Li Gan originally requested to accompany his father on the expedition with Wei Qing, but Liu Che did not agree, so Li Gan had to miss the battle.
After Huo Qubing heard about it, he asked Liu Che to send Li Gan as his deputy general.
That is to say, if anything happens to him during the war, Li Gan will command the troops in his place.
Not only did Huo Qubing act like this, it was beyond Li Gan's expectations, but even I, who had long been used to his willful behavior, were surprised.
"Qu Bing, aren't you afraid that Li Gan will not obey your orders or that he is playing some tricks secretly?"
The battlefield is already dangerous, and thinking about Li Gan following him makes me even more unsure.
"Don't be suspicious of people, don't be suspicious of people you employ.
Li Gan is a war veteran.
It's a pity that we have a secret fight in Chang'an City.
It's one thing, but it's another thing to face the Xiongnu on the battlefield.
Li Gan is a soldier.
A man, the priorities of his family, country and world will not be unclear in his mind.
"Yu'er, don't worry, I, Huo Qubing, have never missed anyone."
Huo Qubing spoke with confidence.
I thought about it for a moment and felt that it made sense, so I chose to blindly believe in Huo Qubing's vision of people, but I felt a layer of pride in my heart.
He praised Li Gan for being a man, but he himself was a man among men.
He dared to use his enemies with confidence and boldness, and he didn't care whether Li Gan would come back to deal with him when he became more powerful.
If his mind was not broader than that of Li Gan, How could he understand Li Gan's thoughts and tolerate Li Gan?
After busy preparations, everything is ready and ready to go.
In this battle, the Han Dynasty gathered many outstanding generals such as Wei Qing, Huo Qubing, Gongsun He, Li Guang, Zhao Ponu, Lu Bode, etc.
It can be said that the bright stars of the Han Dynasty gathered together.
Sima Xiangru, who is praised as one of the two Sima of the Han Dynasty, also accompanied the army.
This literary star will use his pen to write how the generals of the Han Dynasty shine in the sky of the Xiongnu.
"We have to leave early tomorrow morning.
Get some rest quickly," I advised.
Huo Qubing lay on my belly and listened, "He moved again."
I smiled and said, "He is becoming more and more dishonest.
He often kicks me awake at night.
Doesn't he need to sleep?"
He whispered: "My good son, don't bully your mother, or your father won't love you anymore.
When you come out, you can do whatever you want."
I pushed him away with a smile, turned around and blew out the light, "Go to bed" He hugged me and didn't move for a long time.
Just when I thought he had fallen asleep, his voice suddenly sounded, "Yu'er, I'm sorry for having to stay alone in Chang'an City.
The journey is long this time, no matter how fast it is, I can't help you."
I’m afraid it will take three to four months.”
I held his hand and said, "Don't worry, don't you know my temper?
Are you still worried about others bullying me?
Besides, there is Uncle Chen in the house and the Queen in the palace.
You just concentrate on beating your Huns, right?
Yi Zhixie isn't like that Easy to deal with.”
His hand touched my abdomen, "It's been almost four months, but why hasn't your body shape changed much?"
I smiled and said, "That's not bad.
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The doctor also said that I'm not very obvious, but I'm afraid it will get bigger soon."
I buried my head in his arms and said gloomily, "It's too bad.
When you come back, It must be my ugliest time.
I will hide away from you until we meet again when the child is born.”
He laughed heartily, "I saw that you only spent so little time on dressing up, so I thought you didn't care.
Don't be afraid.
The desert is poisonous by the sun and it's extremely dry.
I'll definitely be as tan as a black loach by then.
If you don't mind, Me, I don’t dislike you,” he sighed softly and kissed me, “Fortunately, it’s only four months, I still have enough time to come back and see him born, otherwise I would be anxious to death.”
"I won't be able to see him being born when I come back, and no men will be allowed to be around.
People say that women are filthy when they give birth, and they are afraid of getting bad luck, so the men just wait outside."
He snorted disdainfully, "Why is it unlucky for the woman you love to give birth to a child for you?
The whole house should be filled with joy.
When you come back, I will definitely stay by the bedside to accompany you."
My chest felt warm, but also sour.
How could I be willing to let him go?
How could I not want him to accompany me?
How could I not be worried?
But love should not be a constraint.
Before we met, we were both lonely flying birds.
After two people are together, we don't want each other to slow down.
Or fall down to accompany you, but should be like the legendary flying birds, pulling each other to fly higher, accompanying each other, and making wishes and dreams come true.
So I wanted him to leave with peace of mind and let him know that I could take care of myself and our unborn child.
After the moisture in my eyes dried a little, I said with a light smile: "You think I will let you go.
They say that giving birth to a baby is very painful, especially the first baby.
I must make you watch.
Maybe it will happen when the pain is severe."
I'll bite you a few times and it will hurt."
He hummed, "If it hurts, it hurts together, and if it hurts, we rejoice together."
Thinking that he would leave early tomorrow morning, I pretended to be sleepy, covered my mouth and yawned.
He immediately said: "Let's sleep."
I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing slowly becoming smooth and long.
Opening your eyes, you stared at his chiseled profile.
Go sick, you must come back unscathed, you must
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