Now, it is difficult for me to find an excuse to see Ruo Huan again, but now that I think about it, many of my original ideas were already wrong.
I once thought that although Zhu Rui had some special qualities, she could not surpass the secular etiquette.
At that time, I praised her with the words "the fragrance is as good as ever", and I even thought that I admired her so much and looked at her so highly that I was better than others.
A person who knows people with a sharp eye is secretly compared to a confidant in bamboo baskets.
Now, I know that these are just self-conjectures.
If I use a poem to express my congratulations, there are only a few lines: "The bamboo fenced thatched cottage is content to not be invaded by the slightest dust.
It is only because of the misunderstanding of Lin Hejing that the poet has talked about it to this day."
Rather than saying that this poem is a commentary on Ruo Quan, it is better to say that it is a commentary on the entanglement between Ruo Quan and me.
And the beginning of all these mistakes was from that day.
Maybe I was drunk, maybe not drunk, maybe I was half drunk, half awake and half dreaming, and I was in a daze for most of my life.
That day, I stood behind the floor-length hood and looked at her.
She was wearing a light yellow palace dress, with small flowers of the goddess Mulan embroidered with silver thread.
Even the ornaments on her head were also white jade magnolia of the same color, elegant and quiet.
I recognize this dress.
It was a gift given to E Niang when she was young.
Yun'er once received a light blue dress embroidered with camellias, but Hui Qing did not have it.
Pulling back my wandering thoughts, I focused my gaze back on Zhu Rui, only to see her standing in front of the window, silent and stunned.
She looked out the window, but I looked at her momentarily.
Slowly, this picture and this feeling seem to overlap with another picture.
It seems that when she was a child, in the same palace, E Niang stood like this in front of the window, looking out the window.
I can’t get enough of plum blossoms.
I didn't like this scene, and before I could think about it, I had already taken the step inside.
She turned back to look at me.
There was a moment of surprise in her eyes, but then it turned into respect.
She no longer looked any different from other palace maids.
With such a faint face, it would be difficult for people to remember it once they look at it, but unfortunately, they can't take their eyes away.
I was a little lost.
Why did I care a little about her?
It was because of her temperament that was similar to that of E Niang and Yuner.
But I am somewhat resistant to such "similarity".
When I told her, ordered her, and deliberately spoke to her with a straight face, what I got in exchange was not panic, but a confused but confused face, the look that a real thirteen or fourteen-year-old girl should have, different Yu Fangcai's appearance.
At that moment, I raised the corners of my lips slightly and decided to take her under my wings.
Maybe I could change my original plan so that she would no longer be a pawn.
He got angry early one morning.
One moment she was chatting and laughing with me, but the next moment she looked like a well-behaved and submissive palace maid.
I despise her the most.
Could it be that she was playing some kind of distant game with me?
That day, I walked away.
Her indifferent look was the most dazzling.
I didn't see her for several months.
I thought I'd forget it, but a woman, even though she was special, wouldn't make me spend so much time getting along with her.
Fighting since I was a child taught me never to do unrewarded business.
This is true for marrying Hui, and the same is true for befriending ministers and celebrities.
And her role was originally to fulfill my chess game.
However, news about her still reached my ears in bits and pieces.
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Be good friends with Lao Shisan.
Although Lao Shisan has lost his mother-in-law, he has received all kinds of favors from Emperor Ama.
In addition, with his mouth that makes people happy, many little girls secretly admire him.
When the brothers are joking, , and often tease him about this.
I don't think so, but she actually became one of them, and the fight was even fierce.
I want to see what benefits you can get from it.
Meeting her that day seemed like an unexpected encounter arranged by God.
At noon, after leaving the study, I saw Lao Shisan carrying Bai Lu to the Royal Garden.
Thinking about it, she still didn't give up.
Do you really admire your thirteenth brother so much that you would not hesitate to please one of his pugs for him?
Coming out of E Niang's house, he bumped into her.
I always thought that when I saw her again, I would be impatient, indifferent, and get angry with her, but nothing happened.
Surprisingly, the tightness in my chest was nowhere to be found.
At that time, her eyes were clear, and she looked at me and said, "I believe that one day, I will make it obediently listen to you."
Be obedient, Zhu Rui, I will also ask you to obey me.
This is a bet, and I can only win.
I was the one who made the arrangements for E Niang's birthday party.
Ming Quan has a saying that makes sense: after being together for a long time, she will always lean towards me.
Sure enough, as time went by, she slowly lost her original indifference.
Sometimes when I think about it, I realize that chatting with her is not just to make her come closer to me, I also enjoy it.
This feeling of free conversation has never been experienced by Jiu Di and Hui Qing.
Most of the time, Zhu Rui listened quietly.
Whenever he saw her looking at him with admiring eyes, maybe it was the man's vanity that was at work.
Twelve minutes of comfort.
That is not a simple respect between men and women, but an affirmation of my ability, which is more effective than any flattery or flattery.
Even occasionally, the thought that I had suppressed would secretly arise again, and the thought of giving up her game of chess would disappear again in just a moment.
On the day of the New Year, Lao Shisan came to see me, which made me quite puzzled.
He handed me a small box and asked me to forward the bamboo basket.
I know that he has a close relationship with Zhu Rui, but Lao Shisan and I are not very close.
I can’t wait for Zhu Rui to return to the palace before sending her something important, so I want me to hand it over to her.
Lao Shisan also said readily, Zhu Rui’s birthday.
It's the day of Xiaonian.
When I first heard the news, I felt a chill go down my spine.
I knew exactly what it felt like.
When I first entered school, I was playful and failed to complete the homework assigned by the master.
That was how I felt when the master checked me the next day.
I no longer cared about distinguishing whether I was competing with Old Thirteen or whether I was really taking it seriously.
I immediately left the palace and returned home.
She was not in the room, but Wutong happened to come in with a food box.
Seeing that I was there, she hurriedly came over to say hello.
I casually said: "Where did the bamboo basket go?"
Wutong replied and pointed the bamboo basket to me.
After hearing this, I noticed that the food box was a gift from the Governor of Zhili.
It was just a gift.
It had been sitting in the warehouse to no avail.
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I opened the food box casually, and the fragrant smell instantly filled the whole room.
I asked Wutong casually: "I have never seen this snack before."
Wutong answered carefully: "The girl said it was a cake.
The girl made several cakes and put different ingredients in them.
For this one, the girl added honey red beans and boiled black beans with lotus seeds in it.
The girl said she wanted to give them away.
Used.”
Would it be me who would give it away?
Thinking of this, my mood suddenly improved.
Close the lid and catch a glimpse of the red bean pattern on the box, "May you pick more treasures, this thing is the most lovesick", but it is the one you despise the most, bamboo baskets, who changed you and who is the "jun" you miss?
Is it the thirteenth brother?
Is it me?
When I walked around the kitchen, the servants saw me coming and stepped aside respectfully.
I ignored them and went straight into the pastry room.
There were only her and Qiu Ling inside, and I motioned for Qiu Ling to exit.
The pastry room is small and filled with a rich sweet aroma.
The bamboo chopsticks stand beside the chopping board, and they are cutting fruits one by one.
She was facing me sideways, and I could only see half of her face, which was rare and quiet and warm.
For the first time, I had the idea that if there was a wife like this, adding one or two more children would mean giving up all the duties of the court.
Resigned.
I didn't even dare to take another step for fear of breaking it all.
She said she would send me a copy.
Zhu Rui, I don't just want you to send a piece of cake, I want more.
What I want is a piece of that food box, along with your intention.
My body was very light, carrying her fragrance and hope.
I went back to the study to wait for her, waiting for her to come.
But when I saw the food box she brought in, my whole body suddenly became cold.
That food box was not given to me.
After all, my thirteenth brother is more important than me.
As long as she remembers that it was my deliberate neglect during that period that brought her and her thirteenth brother closer and closer, I can't help but feel sour in my heart.
During the dinner, she was silent, and I didn't want to speak.
The meal was dull.
I didn't have time to prepare her gift.
Knowing that she valued friendship, I explained it to my ninth brother before leaving the palace.
After just that, I almost forgot about it.
I still remember that my tenth brother was teasing me, saying that I would also be attracted to women.
I ignored him, and even I gradually didn’t understand what I wanted.
Hui Qing came back earlier than expected.
Sure enough, as soon as she entered the house, she came straight to the study to discuss with me.
I saw Zhu Rui's hands shaking, but she forced herself to stay calm.
Not wanting to scare Zhu Rui, I went out and wanted to chase Hui Qing back, but I didn't know she was stubborn.
When she entered the house, Zhu Rui still lowered her head and silently read the list.
She was so well-behaved and quiet that it frightened her after all.
I entered the palace on the thirtieth day.
After the banquet, everyone gathered in the palace to enjoy the fireworks.
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The fourteenth man talked to me.
I was a little absent-minded.
I didn't really listen to what he said.
When Lao Jiu saw me, he and Lao Eleven simply hugged me back home.
I didn't object.
This move was just what I wanted.
There was still some distance from the courtyard of the study when I heard an unusual noise inside.
I ignored Lao Jiu and Lao Ten's jokes and walked in quickly.
I knew it was her.
There were a lot of maids and servants in the room, and the dishes and cups on the table were in a mess, but it was quite lively.
Since I've known her, I've never seen her smile so carelessly, never seen her speak so loudly, never seen her act so brazenly, as if she was a wild girl who was not bound by heaven and earth.
The more I explored her, the more I discovered that she was not the woman I thought she was when we first met her.
She was different from Yun'er.
What makes me annoyed but happy about it is that even though I realize this, I still don't want to stop it.
Tips to a whole room of people can make her happy, no matter how many tips there are, it doesn't matter.
There was something in Jiu Di's words.
I knew that he was beginning to become suspicious of Zhu Rui.
Zhu Rui had little contact with them before, and she always looked obedient, so Ninth Brother would naturally not notice her.
But this time, it was so similar to the arrogant and arrogant woman who argued and argued even though she was in utter embarrassment that no one had to doubt her.
I hastily interrupted Zhu Rui's reply.
Ninth Brother didn't ask any more questions, but his eyes seemed to already know the trick I had made.
I asked Zhu Rui to wait for me when I came back.
I just wanted to take a few more glances at her while she still had a wild smile.
But when I went back, she was already asleep on the table.
I carefully carried her to the bed, took off her shirt, and spread her hair.
I had never done such a thing with Huiqing.
At this moment, I realized what a simple satisfaction and joy that filled my chest.
I sat by the bed and looked at her for a long time without a trace of nostalgia.
I don’t know since when, my eagerness to prove myself and to keep her by my side has become less and less intense.
On the contrary, I would be happy when I saw her surprise and joy when she came home, and I would be irritable when I saw her listless look.
"Let others compete for praise, don't worry about prosperity."
A lazy girl like you is probably afraid of getting involved in right and wrong.
At this moment, I finally admitted that if you are willing, I can build you a world away from right and wrong at any time, where you can do whatever you want.
Even though I convinced myself so, there was always a thought that jumped out to disturb my mood.
Maybe it was me that she wanted to stay away from.
Back then, fourth brother's compliments and the prince's words made Yun'er stay far away from me.
Why was he just because he was the prince?
In that case, I snatched him as the prince.
Now Zhu Rui wants to stay away from me again, no matter what happens in the middle.
Who is responsible, even if it is herself, she has no idea.
It's just that I didn't calculate that she would be involved with the fourth brother and attract Huang Ama's attention.
At this point, even my mother-in-law, who never interfered with my actions, also made a move.
I know E Niang is worried about me and doesn’t want me to suffer any loss due to the long love between our children.
But to this day, I can no longer let go of E Niang.
But even though I tried my best to stop it and try to remedy it, things still spiraled out of control.
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Her identity was a trap I set up, and it was the straw I planned to give to the prince at the last moment.
It’s just that I had already suspended my actions.
Ruo Huan’s return caught me off guard.
What was the oversight?
Why did she become Ruo Huan Gege?
Everyone in the audience behaves, but it seems that I am the only one who is worried about this.
If the tenth brother and the thirteenth brother are open-minded, then others, including the fourth brother, have forgotten her last name.
And Huang Ama, who has always been very aware of everything, could it be that he actually saw it?
As there was no subtlety between Ruo Quan and his prince, Huang Ama had no intention of stopping it.
It wasn't until Ruo Quan was sent to Yuqing Palace that my suspicions were finally confirmed.
The fear that was enough to annihilate me came over me.
Emperor Ama, what else does he know?
What else does he not know?
of That day, accompanied by Huang Ama's heartfelt rebuke, I walked into the courtyard of Fengyin Pavilion by accident.
If there is no devil in my heart, I am trying to win some favor in front of Huang Ama.
If there is a devil in my heart, when I see the lazy woman under the swing frame, I have already become a Buddha.
If love is not serious, it will not give rise to saha; if thought is not focused, it will not give rise to bliss.
Ruo Quan, I know that in this life I can only watch from a distance.
In the next life, I will not seek happiness, but seek mutual understanding
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