What else can Shen Zhu say, he can only pretend to be stupid.
"Really?"
He looked at Liu Ling, Liu Ling didn't look up, but nodded.
It's embarrassing.
After a long time, this lie they have been telling from the beginning has always had such an unreasonable loophole?
"If you don't have a computer, you can use a mobile phone."
Hasn't he been on QQ on his phone all these years?
However, mobile phones are also only available in high school?
Lu Zhi said: "Don't continue to talk about it, if you had a mobile phone, Liu Ling would have said it a long time ago, would you wait for you to say it now?"
” Liu Ling bowed his head and was silent, as if he acquiesced to Lu Zhi's words.
Shen Zhu suddenly felt extremely embarrassed, and also lowered his head to eat.
The lie was debunked, and both were silent.
This made Lu Zhi a little unsure of what to do, whether to continue to ask, or give up?
Obviously, if he didn't continue to ask, the two would never take the initiative to give him an answer.
So if he wanted to know something, he had to ask himself.
So he turned his head to look at Shen Zhu: "Brother, for my brother's sake, can you tell me?"
” "I can't."
Shen bowed his head and continued to eat.
Lu Zhi didn't want to be tough, so he turned his head to look at Liu Ling again, "Then you say." ” Liu Ling naturally didn't speak, there was no Shen Zhi's instructions, she really didn't know what to say now.
Moreover, Shen Zhu said that she should not say anything, so now, just pretend to be stupid like Shen Zhu.
Neither of them said anything, and continued to bury their heads in eating.
This made Lu Zhi suddenly feel so powerless, he couldn't be like this.
If someone debunks it, you should tell the truth immediately, and it is really despicable for someone like now, who doesn't know anything and is ashamed to say nothing.
"It's okay if you don't say it, I'll find out sooner or later anyway.
If you don't say anything at that time, then you'll be ready to lose me.
Lu Zhi said.
His words are definitely not alarmist, let alone joking.
It's serious, full of seriousness.
He was tired, tired, so tired that he didn't have the strength to find out whether anyone was sincere to him, whether he was willing to treat him sincerely.
If it is Shen Zhu, Liu Ling, or even his mother.
Or the other person who gave him life, he no longer felt that pleasing those people and being nice to them was one thing he had to do.
He worked hard, no matter who he was dealing with, he had worked hard, and if he finally got it and concealed it, then there was really no need to continue to catch up and treat those people as important people.
For his grandparents, he felt that he had done everything he should do as a grandson, even if the two of them never looked at him directly, he still went every year for a hundred years.
And listen to Mom and Dad, and try to please those people.
After knowing that they didn't like him, he even looked for reasons from himself.
As a teenager, for the first time, he felt that he was really useless, and what other children could easily do, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't do it.
Later, he understood that it was not that he was incompetent, but that those people were too demanding.
Their demands, he may not be able to fight for the rest of his life.
So he began to think, what is the purpose and meaning of currying favor with them?
Could it be that because of himself, if he makes those two people laugh, he is successful and filial?
Could it be that the definition of filial piety is to compromise with the elders without principle?
Could it be that he can only be a filial grandson, and not make himself happy?
Later, he stopped doing that.
His grandparents' attitude towards him has not changed much, and he is still as indifferent as before.
But he felt very relaxed inside, and he didn't have to feel like he was pleasing others, which made him feel as if he was still valuable.
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Therefore, he never did that again, even if that person has always been tough to go, he has to go to his grandparents for a hundred years during the New Year, and he has never been there again.
Because for him, those two people are not his grandparents.
People always ask the back to respect their elders, and children are required to be filial to their parents and obey their parents.
But I never think about whether what those elders and parents are doing is worthy of their children.
Lu Zhi didn't feel that he had done anything wrong, which was why his relationship with that person became worse and worse later.
I didn't like his dad in the first place, and even beat him up because of this incident.
The fierce expression on that person's face, Lu Zhi still remembers it very clearly.
It didn't look like he was looking at his own child, but at an enemy, a man he hated so much.
It was also from that time that Lu Zhi began to think about what role he played in this family again.
Was he really the child of those two?
Or is it just a dispensable toy?
Is the meaning of his existence because the two want to continue their love, or does their marriage need a child to sustain it?
The relationship between parents and children is already inexplicable, so he no longer cares about these things.
Is there anything important?
No.
For a person who doesn't care about himself, why should he care about that person?
Besides, he tried, he had wanted to be nice to that person, he wanted to be an obedient child, but he didn't become a marionette.
So for that person, he is a failure, a person who should not exist in this family.
So he chose to leave, and he didn't go back to that home.
But at that time, he naively thought that at least his mother loved him.
Now he believes so, but it's all just wishful thinking.
He didn't want to believe that his mother also had that attitude towards him, so he preferred to believe that his mother loved him, and she just couldn't live without that man and that home.
So he forgave everything, tolerated everything, and treated her as his only relative.
But then what?
What he didn't expect was that his mother was hiding what he was doing.
She actually showed an indifferent face in the family affection she cared about the most.
Because she is not her biological son, she can easily abandon the child after raising it for five years.
It is conceivable that if he is not his mother's biological son, I am afraid that the fate will be the same as Shen at this moment.
Shen still has his father, and what about him?
He has nothing.
Of course, that's not the point.
After all, he is his mother's biological son, and it is impossible for his mother to abandon him.
The important thing is that he finally knows his place in his mother's heart, that he is not a son, but an object.
An item that allows him to ease the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and prove that he still has something to rely on.
Therefore, she also persuaded Lu Zhi many times to go home, stay with his parents, be a good child, and listen to his parents.
But what if your parents' words are wrong?
Listen to your parents, do you want to be your parents' puppet, or do you want to be yourself?
He always wonders, why do parents have children, is it really because they want their children to spend their lives happily?
Or do you just want someone to listen to you unconditionally?
、 Lu Zhi couldn't find an answer, because he was not a parent yet, and he couldn't understand his feelings after having a child.
Maybe at that time, he will also become a person like his parents, feeling that he gave the child life and raised him, so he has to listen to himself for everything.
Lu Zhi was afraid of becoming that kind of person, if it was really like that, he would rather have no children for the rest of his life.
So in those days that were almost full of despair, when he knew that he had an older brother, the excitement in his heart was difficult to describe in words.
Especially when I heard my mother say that my brother is a very good person and will definitely become his good brother.
So he started working hard, and so, he began to study, hoping that one day he would be admitted to the university he had been admitted to, hoping that he would meet that person.
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He will be nice to that person, like a real relative.
When he didn't expect it, after a year and a half, he came here and knew about his brother's death.
The first time he stood in front of that tombstone, he almost killed himself.
He felt that there was really no hope in life, and he had been working hard.
Try to make that family happy, try to be a good child, try to love someone, try to come here to find your brother.
But God once again played a joke on him, and the result of his final efforts turned out to be a cold tombstone.
And this is not the end, he later learned that his mother had abandoned his brother.
Only then did that gentle person live with resentment for more than 20 years.
He didn't know who he hated or what he should do.
He needed comfort, but there was no one who could comfort him.
Even Liu Ling didn't ...... at all Yes, she did express comfort.
But that comfort was so insignificant that it was even blown away by her subsequent rejection.
After a few days of painful suffering, he knew that his brother was still alive.
Although he was a vegetative person lying on the hospital bed, it also made him feel extremely happy.
He was even ready to take care of his brother for the rest of his life, and he was also ready to help him take care of Hazi, but who would have thought that after his brother woke up, there were still things he didn't know.
And the person who shared this secret with him was actually Liu Ling.
LIU Ling, This is another person who makes him feel very sad when he thinks about it.
Perhaps, it's because they have known each other in the wrong way since they were children, so for Liu Ling.
He is full of contradictions, sometimes he wants to love this person, and sometimes he is afraid of this person.
It's ridiculous that a person can make him feel terrible and want to be good to her at the same time.
Undoubtedly, Liu Ling is the person in his life, and he sometimes feels that he can't do without Liu Ling, and he feels that Liu Ling also likes him.
Sometimes he feels that Liu Ling is cold and cold, and even has no nostalgia for him.
She was like a bystander, sometimes intervening in his life, sometimes sensitively getting out.
And this person also hides a lot of things from himself, and he doesn't even give him the right to want to know.
She also wanted to be a mystery, even a riddle with no answers.
Lu Zhi suddenly felt that his life was one huge lie after another.
Every time he chooses to trust the people around him unconditionally, but in the end, it ends in being deceived and hurt.
Except for Chu Cuoqing and Yu Farewell to them, many people around him are hiding from him, ignoring his contributions, and even thinking that his contributions are willing, or even don't care.
But after so long, he's given so much, he's really tired, he really doesn't have the strength to please anyone anymore.
At this time, he just wanted to say to himself, if you lose, you will lose, if you are not happy, you will not be happy, if you are lonely, please don't treat others without moderation.
"It's okay if you don't say it, I'll find out sooner or later anyway.
If you don't say anything at that time, then you'll be ready to lose me. ” At this moment, after saying this, he felt a lot more relaxed.
It seems that the inner body, those unnecessary things, just let go.
But Shen Zhu and Liu Ling, who heard his words, were stunned at the same time, and raised their heads to look at Lu Zhi tacitly, as if they didn't believe it at all, these words would come out of Lu Zhi's mouth.
But in the next second, the two nodded in agreement.
There is nothing that cannot be believed, Lu Zhi has done so much for the people around him, he is qualified to say such things.
"I won't ask you any more.
These days, I ask too much, I take the initiative too much.
So I also feel sorry that I shouldn't have asked you so rudely about your privacy, after all, I am not a very important person to you.
I am already very grateful that you gave me face and did not away, and you can rest assured that I will not ask about these things again in the future. ” After Lu Zhi finished speaking, he suddenly felt that he didn't even need to continue eating here.
But on second thought, he didn't go.
Instead, he continued to eat, but never spoke again.
Shen said: "It's not what you think. ” He really wanted to tell Lu Zhi, but how could he tell Lu Zhi those things?
That truth is not much better than the truth in front of us.
Liu Ling is not like this, in fact, this matter has nothing to do with him at all.
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If it weren't for Shen Shen's damn crossing, she would have died a hundred times by now, so why be here.
But she wasn't wrong at all, at least she didn't do it right to hide Lu Zhi's matter.
But what's right?
Is there really and absolutely right answer in this world?
"Okay."
Lu Zhi replied, but there was no more nervousness on his face.
Instead, there was a kind of silence, indifference to Shen Zhu's explanation, indifference to the truth that he just wanted to know.
It was as if he had let go of everything in an instant, and at this moment, Lu Zhi seemed to no longer care about anything, including the so-called truth that he wanted to know step by step just now.
Shen Zhu felt as if he had done something wrong, and he felt as if he had lost a very important person at this moment.
That feeling, very familiar, made him feel very uncomfortable.