Chapter 203: If I Die Everyone needs someone who can tolerate you saying "no", someone who can cry freely in front of him without saying a reason.
Most of the time, we don't.
By the time he was ready to come down from the roof balcony, Xu Tingsheng had already regained a calm face and a gentle smile.
Except that his body was still a little weak, no one could see anything unusual about him.
Dad Xu put his hand on his shoulders and went downstairs.
Mother Xu is busy in the kitchen.
AE stood in the kitchen doorway.
Xu Tingsheng looked at it for a while, she seemed to be very uneasy, and it seemed that she wanted to go in to help several times, but she hesitated to move forward.
This is a normal state for her, this is the first time she has met Xu Tingsheng's parents, and she naturally hopes to leave a good impression.
Today was too sudden for her, she didn't even have time to change into a decent dress, and asked Xu Tingsheng about what Xu's father and mother liked and minded, which exacerbated her panic.
Another reason is that Mama Xu's look and attitude are not good, which is not actually aimed at AE, but AE feels it.
Xu's mother came to Yanzhou with anger, originally she was just angry with Xu Ting, and then when she found out that several girls seemed to have treated her baby son who was sick, she was even more angry, and the scope of objects became larger.
Also, she doesn't like Xu Tingsheng's living state, she still thinks about Ye Yingjing, in her opinion, Ye Yingjing, a generous and decent girl with an orchid temperament, is what Xu Tingsheng should grasp well.
Combining these, Xu Tingsheng can imagine that when his mother snatched the cooking work from AE, she shouldn't have paid too much attention to her attitude.
This is Xu Tingsheng's mother, so how can AE not be worried and not in a hurry Xu Tingsheng walked over, pulled the apron strap for her, untied the apron, and whispered: "My mother is angry at me, don't worry, come and sit, let's talk to my dad together." ” ae looked at Xu Tingsheng, then at the kitchen, hesitated, opened her mouth and didn't know how to say yes, she seemed very uneasy about waiting for dinner like this.
"Let's go make my dad a cup of tea."
Xu Tingsheng said.
So AE seemed to have finally found a reason to feel at ease, made tea and brought it to Xu's father and said, "Uncle drinks tea." ” "Thank you", Xu's father said, "It's hard work for you to take care of Tingsheng these days." ” "I, I didn't take care of it."
AE said with some shame.
"You have to learn a lot of things slowly, and you're a kid yourself, and you've done a good job.
In fact, it is most important to have this heart, and my uncle is very grateful to you, and I have time to play at home when I go back.
Dad Xu smiled and said.
"yes, okay."
AE looked at Xu Tingsheng, a little shy, and couldn't hide his happiness.
Just chatted with Xu's father for a while, and AE's mood has eased a lot.
Dad Xu's generosity and calmness can easily make people feel down-to-earth in front of him, like a spring breeze, which may be something Xu Tingsheng can't learn in his life, it is the accumulation of ups and downs, perseverance, and suppression of life.
At dinner, Lu Zhixin opened a bottle of her treasured red wine to Xu's father, this bottle of wine Xu Tingsheng had begged many times before, and she was reluctant.
Here's how the ecology is at the dinner table.
Most people, including AE himself, are eating the dishes cooked by Xu's mother, and a few words of praise from the bottom of their hearts or "hypocrisy", only Xu Tingsheng and Xu's father eat the two dishes cooked by AE from time to time, although the taste is indeed a little miserable, they still say: "I just started learning, and it's already very good." ” Then Xu's mother asked AE which school she was studying in and when it would start.
AE looked at Xu Tingsheng, not knowing how to answer, do you want her to tell Xu's mother: "I'm taking a leave of absence, just stay here" Xu Tingsheng hid haha to cover up the past for her.
Lu Zhixin and Xu's father chatted about red wine, and then talked about business, talked about her family's business, the development of mutual sincerity, and even some of her thoughts on the future development of Huangou.
Although Dad Xu had heard Xu Tingsheng talk about the importance of this girl in mutual honesty and her ability, he was still a little surprised at this time, and couldn't help but praise and recognize again and again, and the more he talked, the more speculative he became.
Fang Cheng also rarely talked about some things about her own family, and even mentioned the name of her grandfather who retired at home for the first time: Fang Guohou.
Xu Tingsheng and Xu's father glanced at each other, this was one of the big names in the former Yanhai Province.
So AE began to become more and more at a loss, and she found that she seemed to be useless and couldn't even interject.
Xu Tingsheng finished a whole bowl of rice for the first time in these days.
"I'll help you with the meal."
AE couldn't help but be happy when he saw that Xu Tingsheng had finally eaten more, and finally found something to do, and reached over to take the bowl in front of Xu Tingsheng.
Nervous and panicked, the bowl slipped in her hand and fell to the ground.
"Pong" The bowl shattered on the ground.
What was broken was just a bowl, but AE's already suppressed emotions seemed to be about to collapse with this shattering, helpless, standing there stunned, with his head down, and there were already tears in his eyes.
The whole table looked over, and Xu's mother also looked up.
Xu Tingsheng put his right arm up, held it high, and pretended to say to AE: "Don't blame me, blame yourself for not holding it high enough, I touched it as soon as I raised my arm." ” Mother Xu looked at it and said angrily: "Do you want someone to hold the bowl to the sky, and you blame others for the trouble." ” "I just threw my arm down and wanted to stretch."
Xu Tingsheng pleaded.
"You can't blame anyone else.
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Forget it, shattered peace.
Mother Xu said.
Xu Tingsheng knows his mother very well, she has such a temper, that's why he did it.
After cleaning up the broken bowls, Xu Tingsheng and AE entered the kitchen together, looking at the tears and helplessness in AE's eyes, Xu Tingsheng reached out to hold her palm and pinched her palm.
"Peace of mind, I'm here."
"I'm sorry, I'm so useless."
AE said.
"No, don't think about it, don't mess around, I'm on your side, and my mother really doesn't have a bad heart, she has that temper, and my father and I are usually afraid of her."
Xu Tingsheng comforted.
"However, I'm really useless, compared with Fang Cheng, compared with Zhi Xin, except for dragging you down, I'm really useless.
It turned out that I thought that I would learn to take care of you and do your laundry and cook for you for the rest of my life, but I couldn't even hold a bowl.
And what you need shouldn't be such a woman, Zhixin is much more suitable than me. ” AE began to get more and more excited as she spoke.
"Ae, calm down, things aren't as bad as you think.
First of all, I don't really want to mix life and career, you don't have to put pressure on yourself.
Secondly, Lu Zhixin's ability comes from the environment in which she grew up, these are things that we don't have, even I can't compare to her in some aspects, you can't always compare your weaknesses with the advantages of others, then you can't be better than others, you won't be perfect, there is no perfect person in the world. ” "But I'm not better than anyone else at all."
"Of course there is, for example, you can sing, so many people like you," Xu Tingsheng said the wrong thing, and saying this sentence now may only make AE more stinging and lost.
As soon as he wanted to explain, AE took the initiative to skip the topic and said, "Tingsheng, when you get better, I will start to learn from Zhixin, and I will work hard to learn to do some things of mutual sincerity." ” "Okay, I trust you."
Xu Tingsheng actually knew that AE was not suitable, but he couldn't refuse now.
As long as she is willing to do something, there is something positively oriented, Xu Tingsheng will support it.
Xu's father and mother stayed in the riverbank house until nearly ten o'clock and went to the hotel.
Because of AE's emotionally unstable relationship, Xu Tingsheng insisted on staying.
This night, Xu Tingsheng's body temperature inexplicably rose again, and the whole person was in a daze.
AE hugged him and let him rest his head on his lap, carefully guarding, nervous and helpless.
But Xu Tingsheng insisted on not letting her tell Xu's mother.
AE understands why.
In a state of confusion, Xu Tingsheng asked AE: "If I die, how will you live" AE couldn't help crying because of this sudden heavy question, but found that she didn't actually have an answer, because if there had to be an answer, it was, as long as she thought about it, she felt that her whole person was empty.
She actually has no life of her own.
"Actually, I've already died once.
Actually, that time, you had your own life and lived well.
Xu Tingsheng said.
He spoke in an unconscious state, and ae couldn't understand him saying that he had died once, and what she heard was Xu Tingsheng saying that he hoped that he could live well without him.
"If it's me, in fact, I've been thinking, if this world didn't have me, would you actually live a better life, you still have such a big career, and Xiang Ning, and many more," AE asked Xu Tingsheng.
"I think I'll live my whole life in insecurity and guilt.
Thank you for loving me, but I want you to like yourself first and have the life you love, such as sunshine and ease, such as singing and traveling," Xu Tingsheng buried his head and murmured.
"I promise you, I won't make you feel guilty or upset.
I'll live well. ” When AE poured water for Xu Tingsheng once, he turned back to the room, took out a few bottles of sleeping pills in his suitcase, looked at them, and then threw them into the river outside the window
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