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191: Yan Anzhi's life experience


Yan Anzhi's cry made Yan Jin pause.

In her two lifetimes, she had never seen Yan Anzhi look so glum.

This kind of crying sound is very similar to the time when she was most helpless.

Yan Jin didn't know why, but he suddenly remembered that night with heavy rain.

She cried so miserably while kneeling in the rain, holding her father's body in her arms.

No one will come to help her, no one will come At that moment, she thought she would die with her father However, it didn't.

She has to live.

After losing her father, she still has to live an ignoble existence.

She has to avenge her father.

The most painful thing in the world is not to die suddenly, and not to be able to see or say a word to your loved ones again.

The most painful thing in the world is to watch your loved ones pass away one by one, while you are still alive.

In the end, I was alone.

Yan Jin tightly wrapped his sleeves and stood in the corridor, motionless.

Xiangfu glanced at Yan Jin nervously, lowered his voice and reminded, "Miss" Yan Jin raised his head, squinted slightly, and glanced at the sky.

At this time, the sky was clear and clear without any clouds.

Look, it doesn’t look like a rainy day either.

Yan Jin took a deep breath, waved to Xiang Fu, and said softly, "Don't let anyone else in, no one can."

Xiangfu looked at Yan Jin's serious eyes and immediately nodded obediently, "I understand, this slave."

For Xiangfu, whether it is Yan Anzhi or Yan Jin.

They are all her saviors.

If it weren't for Yan Jin, whether she could continue to live now is unknown.

Ah Shui and Ah Da gently opened the door, and at this time, the originally neat study room was in a mess.

Ah Shui, who was standing behind Yan Jin, couldn't help but gasp.

Yan Jin also heard Ah Shui's gasp, and she glanced at Yan Anzhi calmly.

Then he slowly entered the house and closed the door himself without saying a word.

The door blocked the sunlight outside the house, and the windows inside the house were tightly closed.

So it looks a little dark.

Yan Anzhi just sat on the ground not far from Yan Jin.

He looked at Yan Jin with red eyes.

There was hatred and hatred in his eyes, but they were not as gentle as before.

Yan Jin walked slowly towards Yan Anzhi, and then picked up the books that fell on the ground.

Those books were books she borrowed from her third uncle.

She still remembers.

When Yan Anzhi got these books.

A happy look on his face.

But now Yan Jin stretched out his hand.

He patted off the footprints on the book, then sat on a chair not far from Yan Anzhi, muttering to himself.

"I don't know what Mr.

Luo said to you, but Anzhi, you feel very uncomfortable now, Anzhi, have you ever thought about what is the most painful thing in the world?"

"The most painful thing."

Yan Anzhi laughed loudly, his expression full of sadness.

He looked at Yan Jin with a ferocious face, "Sister, you are asking me, what is the most painful thing?

The most painful thing is me."

Now it's like this.

I just realized today that no one in the world will be kind to you, foster father, for no reason.

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Oh no, Fourth Master Yan is nice to me because of the things he has done before."

Yan Anzhi used all his strength to hold back his roar at Yan Jin.

His heart felt as if sharp needles were pricking his heart one by one.

Those pains have been spreading in every corner of his body It hurt, it hurt so much that he wanted to shrink into a ball.

Yan Anzhi felt as if he was suffocating. pain Yan Jin opened the book in his hand and after flipping through a few pages casually, he still said calmly, "Since you call me elder sister, then I have to take care of you.

The most painful thing in the world is to be someone else's."

I was a chess piece and then killed the person who loved me the most.

At that time, I was ignorant and naive and believed in others, which hurt my parents' hearts.

If you ask me if I ever hated me, I did."

Yan Anzhi raised his head and smiled sarcastically, "What do you have to hate?"

"When I was a child, I envied my sixth sister.

When she was feeling uncomfortable, Aunt Ji would carry her around and around the yard."

Yan Jin's eyes were a little confused, as if he was remembering something that happened a long time ago, "Aunt Ji Carrying Sixth Sister on her back cannot relieve Sixth Sister's pain, but it can Give her comfort.

At that time, I was wondering why my mother was not alive.

If she were alive, would she love me just like Aunt Ji loves her sixth sister?

I don't think that my mother is not good to me, but Anzhi's mother is.

No matter how good I am, she is not my biological mother after all, so there is no barrier in my heart."

In her previous life, she always knew that Xiao Yu was good to her.

But at that time, Yan Jin hated Xiao Yu in his heart.

Xiao Yu is obviously her mother's biological sister, so why did she marry into the Yan family and become her father's stepmother?

She didn't understand or guess what Xiao Yu was thinking at that time.

It wasn't until later that Xuan told her that Xiao Yu chose to marry into the Yan family because she was greedy for power.

At that moment, she finally gave up all her hatred.

Xiao Yu and his father.

She thinks Xiao Yu is greedy and his father is unkind.

Later, after a long time, she realized that what Xiao Yu wanted was not power, but that she was the most ruthless one.

But by then, it was too late.

Even if Xiao Yu cannot have children, she can still marry well, so why should she follow her father?

Perhaps, Xiao Yu knew from the beginning that he could not replace Da Yu, so he indulged her and Yan Qining again and again.

Only then did Yan Jin realize that maternal love can actually be replaced.

Unfortunately, she knew some things too late.

She is like a chess piece in the hands of others.

She will go wherever others ask her to go.

When she suddenly realized, the people around her who loved her had already left her one by one.

Yan Jin did not want Yan Anzhi to follow the same path as his previous life.

"Actually, I have also envied my fourth sister."

Yan Jin smiled helplessly, "Outsiders say how good and outstanding my third uncle is, but when they talk about my father, they always frown and say that he is a "Yaksha, I have seen my father's true face, it is really scary, but I can be at peace with it."

When Yan Jin said this, he paused and looked at Yan Anzhi with a very serious look, "There is no such thing as everything in this world.

Only after you have experienced loss, you will find that everything you envied before, It's all insignificant, I think clearly now, maybe I am not the happiest person in the world, but compared to many people, I am already satisfied with my greed, which is a bottomless pit."

Although her father was not as handsome as her third uncle, the fatherly love he gave her was never less than what her third uncle gave to Yan Huiqing.

Although the mother is not her biological mother.

But her mother dotes on her.

No less than the biological mother. world.

Nothing is ever perfect.

Only human greed can never be satisfied Yan Anzhi lowered his eyes after hearing this.

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He covered his eyes and cried.

The pain in his heart was something Yan Jin didn't understand.

At this time, Yan Anzhi also understood that what Yan Jin said was true.

His current life may not be the best, but it's not too bad either.

Without this incident, his thoughts may be different from Yan Jin's.

He may even think that he can have the life he has now because of the blessings he accumulated in his previous life. .

Yan Anzhi retracted his legs, and gently touched the twisted legs with his hands.

The hatred in his eyes became stronger and stronger, "Sister, I understand all the truths of what you said.

I understand, but even if I understand the truth, I will still hate, even if I know, I am just a chess piece and you are not me, so you can't feel my pain.

Sister, you have no idea what I am thinking now, I am really alive.

It’s better to die, you know?”

Yan Jin sighed softly, then walked to Yan Anzhi and took out the brocade handkerchief from his sleeve.

Yan Anzhi didn't want to talk about his inner sadness, and Yan Jin didn't take the initiative to ask. life is worse than death She really experienced it.

Yan Jin wiped away Yan Anzhi's tears and said in a soft voice, "Death is too easy.

No matter whether you drown, set fire to death, or even take poison from time to time, you can go to see the King of Hell in less than an hour.

Ke Anzhi, death is really possible."

Solve the problem?

If you can't, even if you die, things will still be there.

Moreover, if you do this, it is nothing more than pain for your loved ones.

Once your enemy dies, there will really be nothing.

A hundred years later, there will only be an extra handful of loess. ” Yan Anzhi allowed Yan Jin to wipe away the tears from his eyes.

Although, he wanted to yell at Yan Jin.

But Yan Jin's movements were very gentle, which slowly calmed him down.

Yan Jin treated him very well, and this matter had nothing to do with Yan Jin.

He could not vent his hatred on Yan Jin.

Yan Anzhi remembered that a long time ago, Yan Jin once laughed at herself, saying that she was a selfish person who was not willing to take care of everything, let alone be a bad person.

She obviously said so firmly, but when something happened to her, she still stayed by her side.

Yan Anzhi knew that if Yan Jin hadn't really regarded him as a relative, he wouldn't have done this at all.

He knew that he was not worthy of Yan Jin's kindness to him.

Yan Anzhi bit his lip tightly, but he used too much force, and soon his lip was bitten.

Blood flowed into his mouth, and the fishy smell in his mouth became heavier and heavier.

He bit his lip. , but still not a word came out of his throat.

After Yan Jin put away the brocade handkerchief, he heard Yan Anzhi say almost inaudibly, "Sister, my surname is Luo, and I am the son of Luo Yidi and Zhuang Chengwen."

After Yan Jin heard this, he looked at Yan Anzhi with wide eyes.

Zhuang Chengwen This name was very familiar to her.

The seventh son of King Nan of Jin, Zhuang Chengwen.

Every time someone mentions the King of Jinnan, Zhuang Chengwen will definitely be mentioned.

Because among the many descendants of King Nan of Jin, Zhuang Chengwen was the most brave and good at fighting.

Back then, when several generals of the Shen family fought against the King of Jinnan, the last thing they wanted to encounter was Zhuang Chengwen because this man was too difficult to deal with.

Before Yan Jin had time to think about it, he heard Yan Anzhi continue to say, "Sister, my father did not die in the hands of the Shen family back then, he died in the hands of his adoptive father, because" Yan Anzhi couldn't help but burst into tears again.

He almost collapsed and said, "Because the person my adoptive father has always liked is my mother." s: Today’s first update Well, as promised, there will be three updates today.

Thanks to Indifferent Without Tears, Acridine City, and 0574 dear friends for your pink votes, Thanks to weight loss q907545307 for the peace charm.

Thanks to Longan for the gift of He Shi Bi.

I originally wanted to update it three times.

I will try to see if I can update it four times.

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I just came back from Xi'an yesterday.

I caught a cold while using the air conditioner on the train.

I took cold medicine.

I wonder if I will feel sleepy.

However, there will definitely be three updates today I will do what I say Thanks again to Longyan for the He's Bi.

Even for this He's Bi, I have to update it three times.

Thank you, thank you dear friends: