Hua Ting, I fell in love with you at first sight when we met in Bremen.
You are different from me, you have a heart, you are hot and clean.
You like to laugh, and you look at me sincerely when you laugh, but you don't know that your smile sometimes makes my humbleness sneak into my bones.
I like you.
This sentence is enough to make me lose a hundred heads.
I know the danger of falling in love with you better than anyone else, but it is this danger that hides the fatal attraction.
You know that people like me take risks.
It's much more important than being ordinary.
The days I spent with you were the most beautiful moments in my life.
I originally thought we would continue to live happily like this for no reason until that day when I sat in Mr.
Cai’s seat and your eyes suddenly pushed me away. , at that time, I suddenly realized that you had isolated me from your world.
But Hua Ting, do you know that in such an era of endless war, if I want to be with you and protect you, I must have power and power.
If I don’t have these, how can I love you with this heart?
A fiery and sincere heart is not enough to build a solid and rigid fortress for you in troubled times.
I must hold real power, otherwise I will not be qualified to love you.
But when I had these, you left me resolutely.
At first I thought that your marriage to Jian Yi was just a formality of some kind of agreement between the Bai family and the Jian family.
But when I saw your smile, your eyes were filled with light.
It was sweet and gentle.
It was you.
Silly girl can't pretend or act like it, just because it once stayed for me for a short time, so I know that you are happy and satisfied.
Sometimes, I really want to go back to the tough-hearted me that I was before, but when I meet you, the pulling and spasms in my heart clearly remind me that there is something beating in my chest, it is bright red and hot, It's the conscience you left me.
It's just that I didn't know that it would be so sad to have a conscience.
In these troubled times, how many people are forced to move forward blindfolded by this era.
However, I know that I owe Mr.
Cai more than I can ever finish in this lifetime.
Sometimes I think that if death can solve the problem, I will die happily.
I am not afraid of death at all, but you cruelly let me live.
For me, it is better to die happily than to live casually, but for you, in order to see you again, I am willing to wait.
The day I first came to Hong Kong, I met Ah Shuang.
You don’t know that the way she drew her gun on the streets of Hong Kong looked so much like you that I almost thought it was you.
The second time I met her was when I was recruiting for a job in a teahouse.
She was one of the many applicants, so I kept her by my side.
It's extremely selfish to say the least.
It wasn't until you came to Hong Kong to see me that time that I realized that she was not you after all.
How much I want to live a happy and ignorant life with you, drinking tea and wine, but I know that none of this is possible.
I think Jane also loves you as much as I do.
Otherwise, after I left, I tried my best to pull him out of the fire, and he wouldn't have cried so heartbreakingly.
We left separately that night, he went to Peiping, and I returned to Hong Kong.
It was not until China was liberated that I set foot on this land again.
At that time, Shanghai was a completely new scene.
All the gangs here have been gradually dismantled, and the appearance of Shanghai Pier has also undergone earth-shaking changes, but except for Jian Yi, I can no longer see any other familiar faces.
I have repeatedly thought about what you said to me.
Although I don’t know what kind of era you are talking about, I firmly believe that there was no war, no opium, and no complicated gangs.
It must be colorful and brilliant, so that I can meet such a you, a you who is incompatible with the 1930s, and a you who is different from all the women in Shanghai.
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In my era, you seem particularly fresh and vivid.
But after all, you don't belong here, you don't belong to Jian Yi, and you don't belong to me.
I choose to spend the rest of my life in Shanghai, not because I love it, but because I want you to be able to clearly feel my footprints and the traces of my life in Shanghai in the future, whether on the streets or in teahouses.
I want you to remember me.
Hua Ting, having you for a short time in this life is not a happy thing.
I hope I can meet you again in the next life.
To be continued.
To be continued n130418: