Min Xuyang has a characteristic, or it can be called a small habit.
His private life is very casual and nostalgic.
He has two pieces of clothing with holes in the back and is reluctant to throw them away.
He says they are extremely comfortable to wear, so he keeps them.
I couldn't stand it anymore, so I bought a cartoon patch and sewed it on.
And this dress is on him now.
The person talking to Min Xuyang was Chinese.
This is what caught my attention.
Are there any friends of Min Xuyang in this hotel?
I looked at them until they stood up to leave, then I looked back.
Min Xuyang waved to the man, and then left as if nothing had happened.
I quickly went back to bed and lay down.
Sure enough, not long after, Min Xuyang came back.
Seeing that I was awake, he said, "Are you hungry?
Do you want to eat?"
"Where have you been?
I haven't seen you since I woke up."
"Me, I went for a walk outside.
I have been holding myself in the room, and my bones are almost soft."
He said, and stretched his muscles again.
He didn't tell the truth and seemed to be hiding it from me on purpose.
I didn't want to point it out now.
After all, it was his freedom and I couldn't control it.
It's just that the back of the man he met was really familiar, but I just Can't remember.
This matter, like a fish bone, has always been stuck in my heart.
Because of this, my trust in Min Xuyang began to gradually decrease, but on the surface, I was still the same as before.
The doctor would come for routine check-ups every day, but still told me not to move.
I remember when I was pregnant with Minwen, I walked a lot every day in order to have a smooth delivery.
I could only lie down, and it seemed that the only option was to perform a cesarean section during the delivery.
I was pregnant until July.
My belly got bigger again, and my whole body became swollen, especially my legs and face, which were particularly obvious.
Because there were signs of miscarriage before, the doctor was more careful in my examination.
The baby was born in July.
There were a lot of them, so they all followed cautiously.
Min Xuyang goes out for a period of time every day.
I used to look out the window for several days in a row when he was out.
He was still in the same place, still the same man.
Min Xuyang meets that man every day.
I think there must be some secret between the two of them, and it's a secret that they can't tell me.
Perhaps it was because the seeds of doubt were planted in my heart, so during this period, I looked at Min Xuyang with an inquiring look in my eyes.
I deliberately observed many of his behaviors, and I was always careful to guard against him every time.
What if he rebels?
What if that man is from the Liu family?
It would be too easy for him to kill me.
I have seen the methods of the Liu family.
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Just be afraid, what they want to deal with is not me, but my child.
I have given up on Xu Qiaosen, and I am afraid I will never see Minwen again.
This thing in my belly is my only spiritual sustenance now.
I cannot let her have any accidents or mistakes.
On this day, Min Xuyang came back from outside, carrying big and small bags.
As soon as he entered the door, he said to me: "Chen Qing, I bought milk powder for your child, one each of goat milk and cow's milk.
It depends on which one the baby likes to drink." , and this little dress, look, isn’t it cute?”
He took out things one by one and showed them to me.
He looked very happy.
I didn't show it on my face, but secretly I was paying attention to whether he made any suspicious moves.
I waited until he finished introducing the last thing before I said, "You are such a careful godfather.
Just put the things there for now.
I'll take a look at them later."
"Okay, whatever you want to eat, I will cook it for you today."
Min Xuyang has always asked the chef to prepare the food before delivering it to me.
He has never cooked anything for me to eat.
But today he asked me to do this.
Is there any plan to implement?
"No, I don't want to eat anything, I just want to sleep."
I said no to him.
He didn't care at all.
Instead, he patted his head as if he had just remembered: "Yes, yes, the doctor told you to rest more.
Look at my brain.
Then you have a good rest.
I will go back to the room first without disturbing you."
You know, call me anytime if you need anything."
"Yeah, okay"
The smile disappeared the moment he closed the door.
I got up and walked to the packages.
I picked them up and inspected them carefully.
I put them under my nose and smelled them.
I didn't find anything wrong, but I still didn't want to.
Dare to take it lightly, so when Min Xuyang wasn't paying attention, he quietly threw it at the door.
Every morning, a cleaning lady will come to clean the room.
I don't like strangers entering the room, but the garbage left at the door will be collected every day.
After doing all this, I went back to bed with peace of mind and went to sleep.
I just didn't expect that when the doctor examined me the next day, Min Xuyang rushed in angrily, holding the things I threw out yesterday.
He threw the things on the ground and asked me: "Chen Qing, what are these?
Can you explain to me why the things I bought for my children suddenly appeared in the trash can?"
The nurse pushed him out and said something.
Min Xuyang said OK several times, looked at me and said, "I'll wait for you to finish the examination.
You must give me an explanation."
Judging from his appearance, he was really pissed off.
All the examinations were normal, but there was a possibility that I might give birth prematurely at any time.
There is an old Chinese saying that describes premature birth, which is seven live and eight dead.
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That is to say, generally premature children born at seven months can survive, but if they are born at eight months, it will be difficult.
I am not sure whether there is any basis for this statement, but with a conservative mentality , I most hope that my child can be delivered safely to full term.
If this is not possible, then I will be born this month.
After sending the doctor away, Min Xuyang continued to ask me that question.
I thought about it and answered him: "I have nothing to explain.
It's just what you see.
What else can I explain?"
"What I saw, I saw these were in the trash can, did you throw them away?"
"It's me" "Why are you, not Chen Qing?
You are so good, what's wrong?"
"Because I don't believe you."
I put my hand on my stomach and said to Min Xuyang with red eyes: "Min Xuyang, listen carefully.
I don't care who sent you, and I don't care what you want to do, but I will never allow you to hurt my child.”
"I hurt your child."
He was so angry that he laughed out loud: "Chen Qing, you have delusions of being persecuted.
Didn't we agree at the beginning that when your child is born, I will be her godfather?
I will harm her."
My goddaughter” "How do you know it must be a girl?"
I looked at him and asked.
"I" "You have asked the doctor a long time ago if it is Min Xuyang.
My mother is not in a hurry.
Why are you anxious?"
"No, it's not what you think.
Please listen to my explanation."
"I don't listen" I reached out and took off the hearing aid from my ear and threw it to the ground.
The surroundings instantly became quiet.
Min Xuyang said something, but I could no longer hear it.
He picked up the hearing aid and wanted me to put it on, but I pushed him away.
I said, "Min Xuyang, last time I had a stomachache.
You said you called Xu Hui.
In fact, you lied to me.
Did you say you were going out?
Taking a walk is actually to meet someone, right?
You see each other every day.
In fact, you are telling him about my situation.
I am right.
I trust you, so much that I trust you with my life.
But I don’t want to see you now.
You, please go out, now, immediately, go out."
I turned my head away from him.
During this time together, I had already regarded him as a friend.
What's more, we were still friends after our lives.
But now I suddenly knew that this so-called friend had always been lurking with a purpose.
I can't tell what this emotion is around me, but it's still heartbreaking.
In this world, the only person you can trust is yourself.
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I refused to wear a hearing aid again.
I just wanted to spend the next period of time waiting for childbirth in peace.
I didn’t want to know how many people wanted to plot against this child.
At least, he was safe in my belly. .
I would rather he never come out, but my wish will always be shattered by reality.
One night two months later, I had my first contraction of pain in my stomach, with an interval of fifteen minutes.
According to time, within these few days, the baby would be born.
Because I had a tendency to have a miscarriage before, the doctor had warned them to tell them immediately if labor pains occurred.
For safety reasons, they recommended a caesarean section.
But I didn’t want to do this, so I deliberately hid it.
Even during the basic examination, I endured the pain and didn’t dare to let anyone find out.
Two more days passed, and the intervals between labor pains became shorter and shorter.
I knew I couldn't hold on any longer, so I fumbled to put on my hearing aid and pressed the beeper on the bedside.
Min Xuyang installed this for me.
He was afraid that something would happen to me in the middle of the night, so he specially installed one according to the hospital model.
It not only connected his room, but also connected the rooms of doctors and nurses.
It didn't take long.
The doctor came over, first checked the fetal position, and then checked how far apart the femoral seam was.
Because of the language barrier, Min Xuyang was called over.
After the quarrel, it was the first time we spoke in this situation.
The first thing Min Xuyang did after coming in was to kneel by the bed and beg me: "Chen Qing, I entered the delivery room because of no choice.
If Xu Hui doesn't want me because of this in the future, you must say good things to me." ” "Min Xuyang, even now, you are still thinking about women."
"If you don't want to or don't want to, then it's settled.
You will definitely put in a good word for me when the time comes."
He said it again before turning to communicate with the doctor.
Giving birth is like cutting off a piece of flesh from the body.
Most people can't bear the pain.
I had been mentally prepared because I had given birth once, but I still couldn't bear it.
My stomach began to feel heavy, and another wave of pain hit me.
I couldn't help but scream.
Min Xuyang was so frightened by me that he paced back and forth in front of the bed: "What should I do?
Chen Qing, what should I do?
You can bear it."
Yes, you must endure it."
"Bear me, I can't bear it anymore" "Why don't you bite me so it won't hurt."
He stretched out his arms in front of me and looked away.
I originally wanted to bite him, but when I saw the hair on that hand, I couldn't bring myself to bite him.
I simply grabbed him, dug my nails into his flesh, and gritted my teeth to endure the next round of pain.
"Ahhhhhhh" Min Xuyang cried out in pain when I pinched him, but he did not leave.
When the doctor prepared things for the operation, he discovered that the child's head had already entered the birth canal.
It was too late to perform the operation.
There was no other way.
In the end, he had to have a natural delivery.
The nurse performed a side incision on me.
You can still clearly feel the feeling of being cut when you are awake.
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However, the pain of side incision is not one-tenth of the pain of giving birth.
My consciousness gradually blurred, and I lost some strength.
Several people were chattering in my ears, but I could only hear my own heavy breathing.
"I can't do it anymore," I murmured.
I wanted to sleep over, take the baby with me, and sleep together.
"Chen Qing, Chen Qing, hold on for a little longer, hold on for a little longer."
"No, no, I can't" I answered unconsciously.
Suddenly, I was half-hugged.
A familiar smell lingered on the tip of my nose.
I inhaled hard and leaned my head against his arms.
"Xu Qiaosen, is that you?"
"Baby.
I'm here.
I'll accompany you.
Just hold on.
If you hold on just a little longer, the baby will come out."
This voice was also very familiar.
I burst into tears.
I grabbed his clothes and asked, "Why, why didn't you come here until now?"
"Sorry baby, I was wrong, I'm sorry" The pain hit me again, and I tried to open my eyes to take a look at this man.
This man I kept clamoring to leave, but in the end still couldn't let go of.
I wanted to see him again, even just for a moment.
It seemed like someone was gripping my lower abdomen tightly and piercing the flesh with nails.
My body was already wet with sweat.
After a roar, something slipped out of my body, and my consciousness disappeared along with the pain.
And that glance, I never saw, in the end.
I don't know whether that familiarity is real or just my own illusion.
I don’t know how long I was unconscious, and I don’t know what happened next.
I was taken to the hospital.
When I woke up, my whole body was wrapped from head to toe, and only my eyes could move.
I looked around, and everything around me was white and pale.
Even the curtains.
There was no Xu Qiaosen in the ward, only Min Xuyang was sleeping soundly beside my bed.
He frowned, as if he was not sleeping peacefully.
He turned his head, opened his eyes in confusion, and suddenly jumped up: "Chen Qing, are you awake?"
"Where is my child?"
I asked looking at him.
Min Xuyang suddenly looked embarrassed and could avoid my words.
He hesitated and didn't know what to say.
I felt uneasy, so I tried to grab his hand and asked again: "Min Xuyang, where is my child?
Please tell me."
"Chen Qing, please don't get excited.
Don't get excited yet."
He put my hand down and moistened my lips with a cotton swab dipped in water.
Then he said, "You were in too much danger at the time.
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It took the doctor two days to save you."
After being rescued, you probably don’t know how long you slept, it was more than half a month.”
"Was it more than half a month that I was in coma?"
"Yeah, so you must not get excited now."
He said and pulled the corner of the quilt for me again.
I looked at him, just looking at him, Min Xuyang, as if he was hiding something from me.
So, I turned to the child: "Well, where is my child?"
Min Xuyang paused, hesitated for a long time, and finally seemed to struggle a lot before telling me: "The child is gone."
My eyelids twitched.
Am I hallucinating?
What do you mean the child is gone?
"At that time, the child was stuck in the birth canal, and the oxygen and water had long since disappeared.
When it came out, it was stillborn.
It was a girl, weighing more than four pounds." he continued.
It made my vision blurry.
Did I kill my baby by being stuck in the birth canal?
The doctor said that I should tell him the first labor pain, but I didn’t listen and deliberately delayed it until the end, so did my baby suffocate to death?
I cried so hard that I started convulsing, and a sharp dull pain filled my whole heart.
I just lay there, unable to move at all, but couldn't help crying.
I didn't even hear clearly what Min Xuyang said to me later.
How can it not hurt?
The life I expected to be short, the only life that Xu Qiaosen and I still have a connection with, is gone.
Nothing is gone, it was me who killed her, it was me I didn't even see her.
She lived in my belly for more than nine months.
I didn't even see her and she was gone.
How could this be?
It shouldn't be like this, it shouldn't be.
I cried so much that I even started to have trouble breathing.
Min Xuyang said that the doctors spent a lot of effort to save me, but at this time.
But I just want to die and be with my daughter.
She is so lonely.
She is still so young.
I have to stay with her.
Xu Qiaosen doesn't want her.
I can't.
I have to find her.
I fell into coma again and I didn't want to wake up.
That world is too scary, and the human heart is too scary.
I have experienced it again and again, and I don’t want to experience it again, and I don’t want to bear it anymore.
This life is too short.
But we have to bear so much.
The human heart is such a small place, but so many things have to pour into it, sadness, joy, and pain.
This life is too sad.
If it can end here, it might not be a bad thing.
So be it.
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I will accompany my daughter and live a good life in another world.
I will no longer miss her or be sad.
I will stay with her and not let her be alone or afraid.
My consciousness gradually withdrew from my body, and I felt no pain.
The only thing I could feel was relaxation.
Finally, I can leave, I can forget all this, forget everything that makes me sad I seemed to see the baby I had no chance to see.
She was so beautiful.
She waved to me, smiled at me, and called me mom.
She said, "Mom, come and stay with me.
Yaya wants you to stay with me."
That is my daughter, the child of Xu Qiaosen and I.
Min Xuyang always calls her Xiao Yaya.
"Baby, mommy is here.
Mommy will be with you right away.
Be good, don't walk too fast, and remember to wait for me
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