After school in the afternoon, on the way home, An Zishan rode his big golden deer and pedaled hard.The big golden deer is the big twenty-eight, there is a beam in front, An Zishan's short body barely stepped on the beam and sat on the saddle, the body only one left and one right kept swaying and undulating, and the feet could get the pedals.An Zishan still remembers when he was just admitted to junior high school, he learned to ride a bicycle at home.The first is the standard car, that is, one foot on the pedal, one foot on the ground, using the thrust of the ground, go forward, until you can smoothly hold the bicycle to slide for a distance before you can enter the next step of insertion.The so-called plugging is to step on the left pedal with the left foot, insert the right foot from the triangular frame under the big 28 beam and step on the right pedal, and then step on the pedal up and down.An Zishan still remembers that when he learned to plug in the void, his right foot always slipped off the pedal, and then he thought of a good way to tie his right foot to the pedal, and the effect was very good, and the right foot was firmly glued to the right pedal.After riding smoothly for a long time, An Zishan was very happy, but he was very happy and sad, and he couldn't get enough of it halfway up a slope.As a result, the car couldn't get up, and his right foot couldn't be taken out, so An Zishan was pressed under the overturned bicycle, and his face was scratched.After the insertion is skillful, there is the upper beam, that is, the body steps on the foot pedal above the beam, and the butt is not yet sitting on the saddle.The last step is to sit down, and the butt sits safely on the seat, of course, whether you can sit safely on the seat depends mainly on whether the height is enough.Just like An Zishan now, although he is sitting on the seat, his legs are not long enough, and he still needs to swing his body from side to side, and there is no taste of safety at all.At that time, there were also relatively short, labor-saving and high-value bicycles with no beams.It is most suitable for a late-growing child like An Zishan, but the price of this bicycle is too expensive for their family background.An Zishan's mother thought about it again and again and bought a second-hand big golden deer, although it was too tall for An Zishan and not easy to control, but it was better than the low price.An Zishan's mother was an ordinary rural woman, she was loving, kind, virtuous, and able to bear hardships and stand hard work.She is in charge of all the big and small things in the family alone, and she has contracted ten acres of land on the side of the Nanhe River in the village to grow vegetables for a living.The daily expenses and part of the Ann brothers' tuition fees were earned by her hard work, while their father worked in other places.Pedaling the big golden deer hard, as I got closer and closer to home, the memories of the past continued to pour out like a tide.In their previous lives, their parents were old, and the ups and downs and twists and turns of most of their lives were deeply engraved in the deep wrinkles on their faces.Every deep wrinkle fills up the simplicity, hard work and unyielding of most of their lives, and the cloudy eyes and deep-set eye sockets contain the ups and downs of life.Every time I go back to my hometown to visit my parents and look at them overworked, Anzi's kindness is like a knife, and he feels guilty.It was their brothers who gave their parents hope and hope for the rest of their lives, but it was they who caused them to fall into the abyss, full of fear and anxiety about the future.Unexpectedly, the old couple of them were in their old age, but the career of the An brothers encountered huge problems, they were in debt, and they were anxious day and night.And An Zishan's marriage for many years broke down again, and his parents no longer had smiles on their faces, their wrinkles deepened, and they frowned tightly every day.In order to help the An brothers share their debts, and in order not to drag them down, they were nearly seventy years old and followed the construction team to build bricks and move cement in the scorching sun and cold wind, just for the 50 yuan a day.It was useless for the brothers to stop them many times, and each time they promised to be okay and not to go, but when the brothers returned to Zhaoshi, they went to the construction site again.It is a painful thing for a son to be filial and not to be treated, but the more painful thing is that they cannot be filial piety, but they cannot enjoy their old age in peace, this pain is like a thousand ants devouring their hearts and sleepless all night.In the past few days of rebirth, An Zishan has often been in a trance, as if everything is so real and so false, I am afraid that this is a dream at all, and I feel that I am seriously insecure.He needs a safe harbor to take a good rest and touch the real life, home and parents are his harbor, always will be.The road from the school to Anzhuang Village is an ordinary loess road, there is no asphalt road in the metropolis, and there is no cement road in a small town, and it is dusty along the way.In April, when the spring breeze was flying wantonly, the dust and sand slammed on An Zishan.The road into the village of Anzhuang Village is a single-lane loess road, the road is narrow, the potholes are uneven, and it is muddy when it rains.When he arrived, An Zishan saw from a distance that the two gray-wood-colored doors were open, and a rural woman with slightly wrinkled eyes pushed a large golden deer at the door.In the back seat is a zigzag basket full of cabbage and celery, all neatly tied."
Mother, I'm back."
An Zishan saw the familiar silhouette from a distance and shouted excitedly.Under normal circumstances, the children of Anzhuang Village or the entire Shanyang Township call their parents, and they are all fathers and mothers.For them, calling them dad and mom is the foreign name of the children of the city and the rich.An Zishan's family is no different, so since I can remember, my mother taught me like this, called Niang.The difference lies in An Zishan's father, a man who works in other places, and he learned foreign customs from the city people.If you have to ask the An brothers to call their father, no one can say it, they have to call their father, in their mother's more exaggerated and realistic words, "If you call him father, you can kill him." ”So, the habit was formed over time, and as they grew up, the An brothers got used to it, and they couldn't change their mouths, their mother was called mother, and their father was called father.Once they went to a big city when they grew up, and later tried to change their names to their mothers, but after calling them a few times, they felt awkward that they were not good, and they still called their mothers kindly, so they completely gave up the idea of changing their words.An Zishan's mother, an ordinary rural woman named Zhang Guiyun, glanced sideways when she heard the shout, and scolded with a gentle smile: "You kid, you'll come back when you come back, what are you yelling about." ”Before he finished his sentence, he said, "What about your brother, why didn't he come with you?"
”"Are you hungry or not, what do you want to eat at night, how about I make dumplings for you, is the leek meat stuffing good?"
While speaking, An Zishan had already pushed the cart to the door.Looking at the woman in front of her gushing endlessly, looking at the happiness and smile that her child's eyebrows and eyes couldn't hide, the concern and concern flowing from her mouth, tears instantly burst into tears, tears rushed out of the shackles of her eyes, and flowed wantonly.An Zishan violently stuck the foot of the car and ran to Zhang Guiyun's side.It doesn't matter if it's inconvenient for her to push the cart, or the surprised look in her eyes, and she doesn't think about the consequences of her abnormal behavior.He put his arms around his mother's waist and pressed his head tightly against his mother's body, bursting into tears."
Mother!
I miss you. ”At that moment, An Zishan felt that he was the happiest, no matter how unpredictable the situation changed and how impermanent, this was the happiness that could be seen, and this was his true destination, family affection.In his previous life, when he was an adult, no matter how much he was wronged outside, how much he suffered, and how much pressure he endured, he never cried in front of his parents.Because I have grown up, I can no longer let my parents worry and worry, I can only swallow all the hardships and sorrows.I once wanted to lie in my mother's arms like a child and cry indulgently, so I thought about it.And now, finally realized, reborn, he is still a child.Although there are old souls, grievances from past and present lives, pressures from the future and present, and injustices from human nature and society.From the countless days and nights of working alone, countless sleepless lonely pillows, no longer restrained, the floodgates of an adult man's tears suddenly opened.An Zishan's indulgence and outburst frightened this simple rural woman, and Zhang Guiyun held her child tightly in her arms with a panicked and worried look on her face.As if afraid of scaring him, he said softly in An Zishan's ear: "What's wrong, Xiaoshan, what's wrong, who bullied you, tell your mother, your mother will go to him, don't cry, make people laugh." ”An Zishan didn't look up, his head moved slightly, and he choked up: "Mother, I'm fine, I just miss you, I miss Dad." ”"Oh, it's okay, you stinky boy, scare me, they're all big kids, and I'm still homesick, wipe your tears, go to the house and rest, I'll make you something to eat, your brothers' favorite leek meat dumplings."
Mother Zhang breathed a deep sigh of relief, her panicked look was swept away, and a smile bloomed again in the corners of her eyes, the child missed her and relied on her, which also made her feel full of happiness.She is worried that her children will suffer losses and be wronged outside, which is more uncomfortable for her than the sky falling, more terrible, and painful, as long as the children are good, she is fearless.The child is her heaven, the motivation and hope for her to stumble forward in this difficult life, the unyielding strength of her struggle against this heaven and earth, and the candlelight that she lights forever in the dark night.This is the meaning of the child to the mother, and this is also the meaning of the mother to the child, and it is even more than that.