"It's weird, it's weird."
A lonely figure wandered the streets of New York in the early hours of the morning, he was like a ghost looking for small alleys to drill, and while walking, he said loudly to himself: "Old iron, I just discovered a problem, I obviously sent invitations to others for engagement banquets, but how did they become invitations to wedding ceremonies in the hands of others?"
And the number of guests is not right, dozens of times more. ”He was puzzled and wanted to pull his hair one by one, but because of skin cancer, he had no hair and only a head like rotten Italian meatballs, and that was fine.The person who walks in the dark is none other than Deadpool, and after Captain America is captured by Peggy and Sharon, Deadpool, who has drunk a lot of alcohol, is not sleepy at all, he is bored and decides to patrol the streets like a superhero.He was going to open his own mercenary shop, the kind of shop that could do it as long as he paid for it, whether it was killing people or going to sewers.But he himself used to be too low-key, although he was a little famous in the mercenary industry, but ordinary people don't know it, if you want to make their money, you have to get some advertising effect.It's impossible to spend money on advertising, the money was used to buy a house for Inez, and even the money for today's drink was paid by the captain, so he thought of a good way to be a vigilante.If you can encounter any major events on patrol and manage to deal with them yourself, you will definitely be able to make the news, right?
Isn't that just free advertising?
Only now there is a problem.After two hours of wandering through the alleys and shadows, the New York villains tonight seemed to be hibernating, and they didn't show up at all.Bore, he started chatting with the non-existent audience again, otherwise it would be strange and lonely at night.The "......" audience interacted."
That can't be, cousin, he's busy."
Deadpool shook his head again and again, lifted his mask and plucked his nostrils: "You said that I used the sewer to deliver invitations, which is equivalent to using his channel, and he came to steal the day?"
But how can he be so idle, doesn't they all say that he went to the parallel world to do big things. ”A masked robber on the corner was robbing a grocery store, robbing a whole box of slippers, knocking the owner unconscious with the butt of a gun, and fleeing the scene with the box at a tortoise-like pace.Deadpool glanced across the street, shook his head, and walked away.It's not big enough to be in the news, no matter what.In the silence of the "......", the barrage began to flow again."
Oh?
He's back?
Looking for a way to a certain point in time?
”Deadpool touched his belt, the light bulb above his head lit up, and he started doing radio gymnastics on the spot: "You're coming to me?"
I'll exercise first, and last time I didn't warm up enough, I got a groin strain when I split a fork, and I had to cut my leg. ”Amputated just because of a strain, and probably only Deadpool can use this therapy.But just then, he heard the sound of an alarm bell not far away, the traditional ringing of the anti-theft system, from the Wilson Department Store a few blocks away."
Did you unknowingly turn to Manhattan?"
Deadpool lifted his pants, pulled down his mask, and walked over there curiously: "Is there really someone who is not afraid of death, and even dares to steal his cousin's shop?"
”I trotted all the way to the front of the building, and found that the door of the store was violently damaged, as if someone had attacked the door with a battering ram, not only the glass was shattered, but even the titanium anti-theft door frame was deformed.This theft is a bit louder, is it wild Africa?
Did it be done by illegal immigrants?
But it didn't matter, Deadpool rolled his eyes, and he had a good idea.Since its establishment has been nearly 70 years ago, Wilson Department Store has never lost a thing, if it makes an exception today, it will definitely be in the news, so if you help recover the dirty, will you also be able to rub the news?
So he slowed down and crept into the mall by creeping against the wall.Rolling forward, sliding, and crawling, he acts like a trained agent, carrying out covert operations, targeting the security room.I'm a little crazy, but I'm not stupid, let's see where the thieves are.Entering the security room in the dark, he first saw a group of unconscious night guards, who had been randomly thrown into a small bed, apparently knocked unconscious somewhere else, and the thieves kindly moved them back here."
This is done right, after all, it is almost autumn now, and the ground is very cold, in case these brothers on night duty catch a cold, it will not be good."
Deadpool walked to the cabinet not far away, took out a blanket, covered the unconscious people, touched his chin and muttered: "But this style is not quite like the wild wind of African robbery, but a bit like the British snitch, pay attention to a thief and at the same time, there is also a bit of British black humor, you see, they also painted the makeup of these security guards." ”He took out a small flashlight and shone it on the faces of the security guards, and the faces of the unconscious people were painted with big smiles.I used too much lipstick, I applied it too thickly, and the messy brushstrokes were as exaggerated as if everyone had vomited a few liters of blood, and the lower half of my face was red."......" saw the iconic prank, and the barrage interaction became more intense.Wade, who was buttoning his ass while watching the barrage in his head, was stunned for a moment, he was a little hard to believe: "What, you say this is Hallie's method, this is Gotham-style theft?"
But when did she come over?
Why didn't you say that?
”There seems to be a string of question marks on Deadpool's head, and the people of DC run to Marvel casually, is there still a royal law?
Is there still a law?
Well, there really aren't these in U.S. law, and although New York State law prohibits people from wearing slippers after 10 p.m., it really doesn't say that people from DC are not allowed to come here."
Huh?
I feel like I've heard someone say my name. ”A head suddenly popped out of the door of the security room, shaking wildly like a bobblehead, its twin ponytails turned like propellers, and its big smile was bright red as blood in the darkness.Harley was overjoyed to see that it was Deadpool, and she immediately walked in with a huge power hammer on her shoulder.There were a lot of tote bags hanging from the handles of the two-handed hammer, and she herself had changed into a red dress and even wore high heels, apparently just finished the 'purchase'.Not only her, but Hela, Daisy, Gwen, and a duck.The ladies are all dressed up like characters in the "Gossip Girl" TV series.Dressed in beautiful new clothes, with a lot of shiny jewelry on their hands and necks, they even had their nails done during the shoplifting, each with their fingers crossed over as if they were waiting for their nail polish to dry.Duck was more unlucky, he was obviously the one who was the only tool to carry the bag when he went shopping with the ladies, and a large number of shoe boxes and shopping bags pressed on him, like a clown in a circus who performed balance on the streets.Wade covered his face, his plan to go on the news was shattered, and he sat back on the small bed weakly, fell on top of the unconscious security guards, and looked at the ceiling in the dark with stunned eyes: "Rob your own store, my cousin really let you play like this, you are all sick, right?"
”"Hee-hee, guess?"