"It swims in the open ocean, but it never gets ashore, and it never sees the cat it wants to see."
The last dead leaves of early winter fell, and the cicadas among the branches disappeared.It was at this time that I encountered the first snow of winter.The endless crowds of people on the streets are still crowded, but they are a little more cold and a little less vibrant.Passers-by bowed their backs slightly, hiding their necks and hands between thick clothing, their red noses blown by the cold wind were less misty than water, and they looked petite and lovely in winter.The hustle and bustle of the city continues, and every classroom in the white, sacred school building is filled with students.On the deserted podium stood a huddled teacher, and below was the obviously absent student, breathless and sleepy-eyed.I still remember that in my first year of high school, I was also a student who was scolded by the teacher alone when I was not in such a state.I'll never forget that day, when the cold that invaded my bone marrow made my groggy head especially sober, and I inhaled my long snot and curled up unsightly in my seat into a fat ball.At that time, I was dark and thin, and I only looked "healthy" in the winter when I wore a padded jacket.I had an unsightly boy's head, nothing ordinary in the crowd, and I ran into a damn puberty, covered with pimples, and I looked like a black tomboy.Discrimination, exclusion and targeting, since I stepped into this high school in City A, I have never been far away.I am an "outlier" in the eyes of everyone, no matter whether my grades are excellent or my conduct is correct, a sentence of "I can't get used to it" can push me into the boundless abyss.With everyone lying on the table listless and lifeless, I was criticized by the chemistry teacher on the podium, who seemed to be noble but was actually despicable.I was silent and unwilling to argue with her, and slowly stood up under her piercing gaze, without any resentment or annoyance.When the ordinary and boring days slowly settle down, and a person begins to get used to all kinds of eyes, then I will have fewer ups and downs, less complaints, but in a sense, I am not happy, and I am like a walking corpse.The chemistry teacher had a sharp voice, and every time he criticized me, he would beat the lectern with a teaching whip, and he looked like a sad and indignant "strict teacher" who "hated iron and did not become steel"."
How did your parents raise you, a white-eyed wolf who eats for nothing, deserves to be sinned and will die of a poor illiterate," I frowned uncomfortably, but immediately relaxed, numbly listening to the rough and vulgar words that came out of her mouth.At that time, I also saw you for the first time, and the narrow peach blossom eyes revealed the affection of a playboy.You strode in, followed by a few leaders of the school, like the headmaster's son.You glanced at the chemistry teacher with disdain, didn't say anything, and your eyes were full of coldness that shouldn't be there at this age.Before the chemistry teacher could say anything, some of the leaders stood up and accused her of not doing it to her face.You turned your head to look at me quietly, and then walked out very briskly, and I could feel a lot of admiring eyes in the classroom falling on you.You know that when we first met, you were so unattainable in my eyes, mind, and even in my heart.Later, I learned that you were an honor student from another school, and you were one of the exchange students this time.And I also heard that your hometown is in a bustling big city, and even your family is very rich.But no one can understand why you came to City A, a backward and poor place where power is often cut off, with your excellent grades.I don't understand, I don't know anything about you, but what I do know is that you were the light that redeemed me, even if it was insignificant to you.Later, you went back to the university in your hometown of City A, and I met you in a situation where I couldn't even think of it, until I liked it.After more than two years of meeting again, you are still so amorous, but you are less cold and more warm, although you don't remember the original me, a black and thin tomboy.Next to you, there is a near-perfect girl.Everything has changed for me because I like you.When I woke up crying in the middle of the night, I lamented that I didn't deserve to scold you for being a scumbag, but I never regretted it.Beixi, do you know that I really like you, from the two and a half years of my heart to the half a year of liking, I have been thinking about you for three years.Three years of high school is neither short nor long."
Merry Christmas on a sunny day."
The moment the train started, my thoughts pulled back, and Arlo leaned down and leaned into my ear and whispered.Let me have a moment of suddenness, but also a moment of greed and reluctance.Before he left, I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered to him, "Merry Christmas." ”From the beginning to the present, my relationship with Arlo has been ambiguous.We have had the murmuring and sweetness of lovers, and we have also had enemies who are very red when they see each other, we can sneer at each other one second, but care about each other's emotions the next.I once narcissistically thought that Arlo liked me, but when I learned that he was with Lin Qi, that idea was shattered.I thought that without Beixi, I would definitely spend Christmas alone, but I didn't expect Arlo to take the initiative to invite me to spend Christmas together.I asked him suspiciously, what about Lin Qi, but he just vaguely said that he didn't want to have sex with her, and then cleverly avoided the topic.I didn't think much about it, a Christmas with someone is better than a Christmas alone.I looked thoughtfully out the window, but I saw a gray patch, and I didn't have time to take a closer look at the scenery outside the window.I closed my eyes softly, and the seagulls were still soaring proudly in the waves, and a figure suddenly jumped on the blue horizon, shining brightly under the clear sky.A column of water suddenly gushed out, and everything around it resounded with a cheerful cry, and then it fell calmly and returned to the beautiful deep sea.The mysterious sea, the beautiful blue whales, and the seabirds soaring between the clear sky, the colorful shells, the transparent jellyfish, and the golden shallows are my dreams, the blue dream of flying freely, I gently open my eyes, the long whistle of the train continues, and everything that flies by outside the window is so gray and bleak.I raised my head slightly, bowed my head to Arlo, and said to him firmly, Arlo, let's go see the sea.He chuckled and agreed, reached out and touched my short hair, and unconsciously touched the disinfectant stick on my ear, the soft light in the pupils of his eyes became deeper, and he said, Sunny day, is it okay for us to bring the same earrings I nodded a little excitedly, and suddenly remembered that Beixi said to me, I look very beautiful in simple terms.I hid my loss and turned my head away, but Arlo turned his head, his eyes looked at me like a torch, and the cold and hot kiss fell.His movements were light, so careful and gentle, but they could touch his lips, and they were so hot.The heart in my chest, which had only been beating violently for Beixi, couldn't help beating violently at this moment.It was so violent, as if it was about to rush out of the body.I looked at the affectionate Arlo in a daze, and the first time I kissed him, I was at a loss for what to do, and I was so flustered that I couldn't respond.But it's true that my heart is moving.After taking a long bus ride to the nearest beach, I looked at the endless sea as I had dreamed, and suddenly felt that I had a home.I broke free of Arlo's hand, took off my little leather shoes and walked barefoot towards the sea, and began to wonder if there was anything I wanted in the center of the sea?
I looked up at the snowflakes floating in the sky, as light as fluttering catkins, and the snowflakes falling on my eyes were also gently cool, but fleeting.I saw the first snowflakes fall on the small light blue roof by the sea, gently and softly, and then disappear all at once.I remembered my own dream, and then I thought of the cold Beixi three years ago, and then the warm and affectionate Beixi, who only had Han Xi in his eyes.My eyes, which were hurt by the sea breeze, became a little dry, and I lied to Arlo that I was thirsty and asked him to help me buy a bottle of water at the shop house by the sea.Arlo looked at me suspiciously for a while, and finally told me to wait, and he went to buy water.Watching Arlo's back disappear, I smiled with relief, but extremely bitter.I walked slowly towards the sea, closer and closer until the cold water began to overflow my ankles, knees, thighs, waist, heart, throat, nose, and finally my eyes, which were soaked with tears, bitter and unusually painful, I am a fish, and I am back to the center of the sea.Beixi, you are a cat, why don't you leave me behind, even if you bite me to pieces, only the remains of me, I am willing.Beixi, you are a bird, why don't you wait for me to jump over the dragon gate and become a dragon and fly with you Beixi, Xiang Qingtian really likes you."
To the sunny day, to the sunny day, to the sunny day" who is shouting my name in a hoarse voice, who is it who is gradually inaudible in the whistling sound of the sea, and whose is it Under the boundless shout, the voice began to become choked and desperate, and suddenly I was embraced into a gentle embrace, I struggled to open my eyes to see the person, but I still couldn't.I can only vaguely see the young man's vague handsome face, and his face is full of pain and self-blame.Who are you My North Xi I coughed uncomfortably, but I was blocked by a lip, and the cold and possessive kiss was rudely picked into my teeth, threatening to snatch everything from me.I struggled to breathe and tried to push him away, but he hugged me tighter, I cried and whined and beat him, but he never let go.It wasn't until I was about to faint that he slowly left, looking at me with red eyes and a face full of pain.He is Arlo, not my Beixi I grabbed Arlo's hands, crying and shouting to see Beixi, and even the words that popped out of my throat became trembling: "Arlo, I can't live without Beixi." ”I like him, I can't afford to lose him, I really can't live without him.Beixi I like you, why can't you see my liking Why do you want to like Su Hanxi Where is she worthy of you so desperately I cried Beixi's name heartbreakingly, the snowflakes in the sky were as cold as the sea under my feet, and I fell decadently into Ah Luo's arms, and my vision began to blur.There was a whistling noise in my ears, I seemed to be on the beach and in the downtown area, suddenly like a dream, and I seemed to hear a sigh, someone was saying: Xiang Qingtian, I like you
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