Cheng Xiaoguang, then let's separate.I say.When an old love song suddenly sounded in this city full of sorrow, I seemed to see the ronin who stayed in the beige square, some of them may have only a tattered hat, some of them may have a backpack, or a cat or a dog.I stood in the pouring rain, watching my girl cry silently, she covered her mouth tightly, and her eyes were still clear when she looked at me, although she had said something hateful to me a second ago, her eyes were always haughty, refusing to show a trace of resentment and disgust towards me.She is such a kind girl, how can she be willing to use an ugly face to face the person she likes, even if in her youth, she likes a cowardly and selfish bastard, scum or even a beast, she is so kind and careful to maintain her liking.It was only when I touched her faith that her strings broke, and I broke mercilessly.Xiaoguang, forgive me for deliberately hurting you by saying ruthless words, to be honest, I also like your world, that two-dimensional world that is not as cruel as reality.I envy you for more than ten years than I do, do you know how happy I am in that world, in the world that touches us to tears, and teaches us to grow up and never lose our childlike innocence.It does not exist in reality, but it lives forever in our hearts, and its status is so unshakable.So, living in that kind of world, you will be so kind and innocent, Xiaoguang, I'm sorry, I don't have the courage to go on with you.I watched in silence as Cheng Xiaoguang walked past me with his head down, his fists tightened subconsciously, I lowered my head slightly, let the rain wet my hair hang down in front of my forehead to block my vision, staring at the smooth ground, I wanted to cry for no reason.I turned around in horror, only to see that the rain was bright red, and my girl fell in the middle of the road, and the rain washed away the blood, and the blood kept coming out.She fell there, her eyes closed her last moment still staring in my direction, and suddenly she laughed sadly, and gently closed one by one, drowned out in the cacophony of the heavy rain, and even the remaining consciousness gradually dissipated.I clutched my chest in pain, my hoarse voice calling her over and over again, but I never had the courage to step up to her, I took out my phone, and dialed the ambulance with trembling hands.Obsessively looking at my girl again, I turned around and ran away with my head down and spineless, until I could no longer hear the noise of the whistle wreaking havoc farther and farther away.I leaned feebly against the cold wall and curled up in the alley, looking at the wild cats in the deep alley with their backs hunched and wet, and my nose was pantothenic and I cried.It's also such a rainy day.,Xiaoguang hugged the wild cat that died of illness.,Crying silently in the noise of the heavy rain.,She asked me.,せせい teacher,Why did the kitten die It obviously didn't bleed.,It's sick and died.。
Teacher,Sister nurse told me that if I bleed too much, I would die.,But the kitten didn't bleed why will I die in the future Will I die like a kitten in the future Meow Wild cat vigilantly bared its teeth and roared in pain.,Almost the next moment it's about to pounce on me.。
I held my head high and let the rain drip down from the sky in the alley, narrow to a crevice, and the cold rain fell in my eyes, startling all the spray and distant shouts.I didn't hear Xiaoguang's last words, but I understood her words, she said, will I die I touched a cigarette, but before I could light it was wet by the rain, I looked at the cigarette in my hand in a daze, closed my eyes painfully, and my mind was full of Xiaoguang's figure in a pool of blood.I hated myself for not being able to run to her, and for not being able to give way to the way, and in the end I ruined the little light, the girl who lived in the light.You and Cheng Xiaoguang will not have results, don't you I looked coldly at Yu Jie, who was only wearing a white shirt, and her tone was indescribably indifferent, you already knew that Yu Jie raised her eyebrows gently, and did not answer my words directly, but asked rhetorically, what else I fell weakly on the sofa and closed my eyes, and my hand that was about to rub my temples was grabbed out of thin air, and suddenly a soft body sat on my body, gently rubbing my temples for me.I put down my hand and didn't resist, but no matter how considerate and gentle she was, it was not as obedient and playful as Cheng Xiaoguang, which made me feel more at ease.But I also clearly understand that we are over.The next time I saw Cheng Xiaoguang was a few months later, I accompanied Yu Jie to the hospital for prenatal checkups, and even had a confirmed engagement with her at the end of the month.When I met the little glasses, I hesitated for a while and followed him to Cheng Xiaoguang's ward.I looked at Cheng Xiaoguang in a hospital gown and weakly infused fluid, and my heart couldn't help but be painful, but Yu Jie touched her stomach in front of her as if she did it on purpose, and said with a smile, Xiaoguang, are you not feeling well, is it better I and Teacher Xu plan to get engaged at the end of the month, and I came to do a prenatal checkup today just happened to meet Yan Tian, I heard that you are here to come and see, if you can, do you want to come to our wedding The little girl smiled lightly and said softly, Teacher Yu, if you can, I will definitely come, absolutely.Okay, if Xiaoguang can come, Teacher Yu, I will definitely be very happy, then let's go first, you have a good rest Cheng Xiaoguang looked at me carefully, and asked tentatively, I have something I want to say to Teacher Xu, is it okay When only me and Cheng Xiaoguang were left in the room, I looked at her who had not seen her weakly for a few months, and when she wanted to say something distressed, she preemptively said, Teacher Yu, don't worry, the child was gone when he had a car accident.As I said, I won't bless you and Teacher Yu Jie, but I really want Teacher Yu Jie to be happy.Xiaoguang, you will be happy.I turned my face away in pain and wiped my moist eyes to keep myself from crying.Well, I will be happy in the future, so you don't want me to participate in your engagement I heard Xiaoguang laugh softly, and coughed a little, I think she must be smiling strongly, so I don't dare to look at her.I took a deep breath, walked to her and hugged her one last time, and said softly, Xiaoguang, don't come if you are reluctant, you can be happy.Okay, せせい teacher.I always thought that Xiaoguang would go on with Yantian forever, and I would successfully complete the engagement and marriage with Yu Jie, and finally have my own family and children.But after seeing Xiaoguang in the hospital that day, I got the news of Xiaoguang's suicide before a few days passed.Dressed in a hospital gown, he walked to the rooftop and jumped off before anyone could notice it, leaving only a voice recorder and the notebook.The speed of suicide was so fast that only the camera on the top floor captured this scene, and she smiled so quietly, looking at the busy streets, and quietly went to the world of her dreams.When I arrived, Xiaoguang had already been carried out on a stretcher and covered with a white cloth, and the police who arrived finally handed over the relics to me, saying that I was the person designated by the deceased.I sat down on the ground in despair, and Han Xi and the others also heard the news and rushed over in turn.At everyone's request, I opened the recorder tremblingly: it was March 15, the first year I saw him again, he called me into the office, and I recognized him at a glance as the same person I had back then, and when I listened to him teach me not to write novels, I remembered that when I first met him, he was still in college, and the rented house was next door to my house, and he was a warm-hearted brother next door.Today, the first year since he left and met again, my health is getting worse and worse, and every night when I wake up, I am so painful that I take all kinds of medicines, and I have to take them until I vomit.The nurse sister told me that I can't exercise vigorously, I can't eat indiscriminately, and I have to rest well every day.She also told me that if you bleed too much, you will die.I don't want to die, he told me to study well, how can I die so quickly.So I listened to what the doctors and nurses said, and I was obedient to what they told me to take and take any injections, but my body never got better.The doctor told me to stop studying and be hospitalized for treatment, but I didn't want to be hospitalized, I wanted to study, and I grew up in an orphanage, so I didn't have that much money to pay for medical expenses.Although the doctor said that the hospital does not charge money for my special situation, I still feel embarrassed.So when I saw him again, I thought that I could spend more days with him, but my health was getting worse and worse, and I didn't know when I would die.Time is the second year of seeing him again, he is very good to me, let me know a lot of his friends, Han Xi, Qingtian, Lin Qi, A Luo, Beixi and Fairy, everyone is very good to me, I am really happy and happy.I heard the dean say that if you write down your name, you can remember it even if you accidentally forget it and see it, so I asked everyone to write down their names without permission.But soon after the happy thing, I was pregnant, but he didn't like it, and when I compromised and decided to get rid of the baby, the hospital called, and the doctor told me to be hospitalized for treatment, and he said that I would not live to be twenty years old, and if I wanted to survive the last few years, I had to stick to the treatment or I would die at any time.I lied to him for the first time, I can't be with him anymore, how nice it would be if I could have a child with him, I wanted to give birth to that child so much, but I still lost the child in a car accident.I was admitted to the hospital, but my health was still getting worse day by day, and I felt that it was difficult for me to live to be 20 years old, and my sister nurse told me that it was a heart disease, and I would not be able to get better if I couldn't get out of this hurdle.I don't want to forget him, and I don't want to get out of this hurdle, I'm afraid that I won't like him so much after I walk out, so I asked Yan Tian to call him to look at me again when he accompanied Teacher Yu to do the prenatal checkup, and one glance was enough.As a result, he is getting engaged, and I want to see him happy, but I don't seem to have a chance.After he left, I couldn't even speak, and then my body was filled with tubes, large and small, and I was also covered with oxygen cylinders.Under the torture of illness, I became more and more desperate, and as long as my body moved a little, it was like a thousand cuts.Then, I stood on the rooftop and gave up struggling.After the recording, I felt dizzy and passed out."
Teacher, it's already here" I woke up from my trance, looking at Cheng Xiaoguang who was smiling at me, my heart suddenly hurt."
No, no, Xiaoguang will go back now, let's do it all over again."
I reached out to hug her, but she grew farther and farther away from me.She smiled bitterly, laughing and overflowing tears, in April when the sun was shining on the cherry blossoms, she gently stroked her long fluttering hair, just like the white and blue sailor suit she saw for the first time, the skirt swayed slightly, and her mouth closed one by one: "せせい teacher, seeyou" "Xiaoguang" I subconsciously roared, but her figure suddenly disappeared, and there was only a tombstone standing in front of her, and everyone who had already arrived.I smiled self-deprecatingly, walked slowly to the tombstone, and looked at the three words "Cheng Xiaoguang" engraved on it, I couldn't help but redden, and muttered sorry."
Xu Yi, you're a fucking bastard, you can't afford to pay for those three years," Xiang Qingtian grabbed me by the collar and cried silently."
Sunny Day" Arlo walked forward and took her away in a complicated way, holding her tightly in his arms.Xiang Qingtian laughed to herself, she sat on the ground, and said bitterly: "She is only seventeen years old, her life is so short, it was all ruined by you" I closed my eyes in pain, and the words that the doctor said that day still echoed in my ears: "In addition to her physical illness and weakness, she actually has a slight mental illness, that is, she is a little mentally retarded and her memory is not very good, it is not easy for her to remember you for more than ten years."
Xiaoguang, I'm sorry for you.I don't think I told you that I liked you.Losing you is like a natural disaster
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