"If you are a woman, you should never push yourself into a corner."
That night, when I was crying hysterically for Gu Xi in front of Jian Yi, Jian Yi touched my face like that and said softly.And I never thought that my liking for Gu Xi was already better than Xu Cheng's.I don't know if it's because Xu Cheng died, and my attachment to him has faded or something else, but I deeply understand at this moment that Gu Xi is always what I want to grasp the most.But I also understand that Xiang Qingtian's intervention is so unshakable, no matter how many times he chooses one of the two, Xiang Qingtian will always stand by his side.What's more, until now, I don't know who Gu Xi likes.I was left to say that I couldn't leave me, but he never admitted that he liked me, as if everything was a coincidence, and it happened that they walked together and separated because of reluctance.On a hot day, I suddenly felt cold, and I curled up with my body in my arms, but what I held in my hand was enough to make me faint.staring blankly at the results on the pregnancy test stick, it was so vivid that it almost made me cry, but now I can not let this shameful fact be exposed except for tears, I have no way to bear it, and I have no way to face Gu Xi.I don't know what happened to us, but I knew I couldn't do anything about the situation.Twenty years has not passed, and it is always the coldest and hardest truth.After sorting out my emotions, I stood up and turned on the faucet, and flushed my face hard, even though I wanted to smoke, I couldn't bear to touch it.I walked out of the bathroom numbly, and when I came to the living room, I saw Gu Xi tilting his head and napping, and what was on the TV was not the ball game he always liked to watch, but the naïve cartoons that I never got tired of watching.Walking up to him indescribably, I squatted down gently, and at this time I felt extremely sour when I looked at his side face.He used to be my own Ah Xi, so I could tolerate his affection in the circle, at least at that time I was sure that he was sincere to me, and that he would never leave what he said.It's just that now there is an extra sunny day between you and me, and it is so easy to intervene without being wide or crowded.We are gradually getting tired of each other, and I am becoming more and more sensitive in the simple relationship with each other, and you are beginning to lose patience and enthusiasm with me, but Xiang Qingtian has satisfied your joy instead of me.That's why I can't do without her Gu Xi, I'm really useless, I can't catch you.I sadly reached out and swept the hair on Gu Xi's forehead, but I couldn't help but burst into tears when I stared at his smooth forehead, it had only been half a year since we were together, but it had already deteriorated.The boy who was waiting for me on Christmas Day accidentally fell asleep on the table.At that time, the classroom was very empty, very deserted, the warm sun gradually set and stretched his shadow on the ground, among the bare branches, there was no summer shadow sneaking in, there was only light shining through the afterglow.The boy fell asleep smoothly, less uninhibited than in the past, just like a child, after falling asleep, he would be less childish, and people couldn't bear to wake up.I still remember that Christmas, when you woke up and told me that you had a long, long dream, and the corners of your mouth at that time were not playful, but sincerely happy and satisfied.I don't know what you dreamed about, but I also knew that you were smiling in your dreams, like a child clamoring for candy and finally getting candy.And now you are rarely smiling sincerely, you even fall asleep frowning tightly, so if you have a nightmare, dear, will you sweat and cry before you were so timid and crying, I have to cry for a while when I say a few more words, but now I love to cry more than you, you can make me cry for a long time without speaking.Gu Xi, why did we become like this and became a look that made each other feel bored, under endless speculation and questioning, stiff and cold, and let the enthusiasm gradually harden and freeze in disappointment.Jian Yi said, don't push yourself into a desperate situation if you say a woman's words, but now I feel difficult to even get out, not to mention that I lost everything by withdrawing from the whole body, but I can't really hate you.I like you, so much so that I feel like I'm going to suffocate even looking at you frowning.I moved slowly, reluctantly smoothing his frowning brow, but my heart became more and more uncomfortable.Dear Ah Xi, can we not be so sad Sorry Ah Xi, I let go of Xu Cheng and failed to make you happy.Withdrawing my hand without hesitation, I turned around and was about to leave, but I was grabbed by a hand hard, and then fell into Gu Xi's arms.He hugged me tightly, buried his head in my neck childishly, and said in a choked voice: "Su Hanxi, you are too ruthless, if I haven't woken up yet, will you just leave me without saying a word" "Su Han, don't be like this, I can't imagine that you will be like Xu Lulu one day, disappear completely without saying hello, and when you want to come back, are you willing to see me get married and have children" I pursed my mouth sadly, and I already felt the coldness on my neck, It was wet and burning so painful that it made me uncomfortable.Ah Xi, I only want you on a sunny day.What a selfish sentence Gu Xi, I asked you what to do on a sunny day, and you only said that you wanted me.Why is it that a sentence that is enough to make me ecstatic, but when it touches the bitterness and unbearability in your words, it makes me deeply desperate?"
Gu Xi, I won't leave.""
Then where are you going" Gu Xi obviously didn't believe it, and there was a touch of unacceptability in his choked words."
I'll go home."
Without waiting for Gu Xi's interface, I continued, "Go back to Su Zhiyang." ”Gu Xi let go of me in disbelief, looking at me with sadness in his eyes, and finally he shook his head and said: "You lie and deceive people" I said bitterly, but I didn't continue, and then when Gu Xi calmed down a little, I heard him compromise and say: "I'm sorry, then you go back" I nodded, then picked up the mobile phone on the table and walked out of the door, just changed into shoes and was about to open the door and leave, Gu Xi didn't know when he walked up, grabbed me and said sullenly: "Su Han, If you really leave without saying a word, I will never forgive you for the rest of my life. ”I looked at Gu Xi in astonishment, but Zhang Zhang Hehe didn't say anything, and dropped a sentence of "I'm leaving" with a full bitterness, and took his hand to open the door and walked out.The moment the door slammed shut, the tears that had been held back for a long time finally ran out uncontrollably.Who knows what kind of ending this door will be when it closes in the end Two sad people walked together, but they separated, and then what was waiting for them would be a joke of fate Gu Xi, you won, you used a simple sentence to force me to completely dispel the idea of leaving.It turns out that we have been separated from each other for a long time, but you still remember my weaknesses, and then stand in the perspective of the winner, and in the end you will not let go of me.It's just that we are barely together like this, don't we really resent each other, the years are so long, the travelers are going farther and farther, and how many youths we have will go If you are not happy, I am not happy; If you and she will be happy, then I will put it down.Whether it's a sunny day, Su Hanxi, whoever can make you happy, who is left is not good Why after we tortured each other, we had to go to each other to be kind to Gu Xi, I also want my stay to make you happy After returning home sadly, it was already half past three in the morning, I thought that the home would be dark, but I didn't want Su Zhiyang's study to be hidden, and the light from it sprinkled on the floor of the living room.I frowned slightly, changed my shoes, and stood for a long time past his study, before finally gently pushing the door open and entering.Looking at Su Zhiyang lying on the desk and already asleep, I instinctively wanted to go out, but I suddenly remembered that Su Zhiyang got married because he didn't come back here without getting a license, but why is he here at this time I don't believe that Su Zhiyang will lie to me, but because of this disbelief, it becomes more and more complicated, as long as I think of the angry words that day, I always can't help but regret that I said such childish words.I have hated Su Zhiyang for more than ten years, and I have more or less resentment, but it can't be said to be the hatred of enemies when they see each other, but it is difficult for me to face him as a daughter again, after all, I can't let go of this shelf, and I can't forgive him for indirect injuries.But if he stays here now, and if he doesn't regret it, there is only one possibility, but in the end, it will be the result I want, so am I happy, no, no.With mixed feelings, I retreated to the study, picked up the blanket on the sofa and walked into the study again, walked slowly to his side, and covered him with the blanket with some complicated complications.Sweeping the copy on his desk, I sighed slightly, put him to sleep in a better position, and then sorted out the messy papers and files on his desk for him in a somewhat dazed manner.After I was almost cleaned up, I reacted back consciously, and looked at him silently for a long time before I suddenly realized that it was really difficult for me to really hate him, and the emotion connected by flesh and blood still caught me deadly.I was about to leave after packing up, but I noticed a photo on the floor, and when I picked it up out of curiosity, I burst into tears when I saw it.It was the summer of Shang Shang's death, and I didn't have that deep resentment towards Su Zhiyang, Shang Shang liked the sea, and then we traveled to the nearest sea area.At that time, Shang's mother was very gentle, and she always said "Han Xi is a sister, Shang Shang is a sister, so Shang Shang wants to let Han Xi", and Su Zhiyang at that time would also smile and say, "In the future, if Su Han gets married first, Shang Shang will be a bridesmaid, and if Shang Shang gets married first, then Su Han will be a bridesmaid, and good sisters will grow up together and watch each other get married."
At that time, I was always secretly happy, took Su Zhiyang's words seriously, and pulled Shang Shang to discuss in private, Shang Shang should marry before me, so that I can not only be the most beautiful bridesmaid, but also the most beautiful bride in the future.It was only later that a catastrophe fell from the sky, and in the end, Shang Shang stayed at the bottom of the sea forever, and Shang's mother, who had always separated me from Shang Shang, also went completely crazy after losing her daughter that year.The two girls in the photo look very similar, the difference is that one has a gentle sea breeze on his smile, and the other has a heartless smile
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