The time spent in the hospital is the hardest, the smell of disinfectant in the room stimulates the sense of smell, and the cold that seeps into the bones makes people unconsciously want to escape.Gu Xi, it's as if you are by my side now, holding my hand tightly but can't help but tremble, God knows that I just want to flee with you at this moment.The two hands that are clenched are divided into two different temperatures, but the emotions that are conveyed to the bottom of the heart are the same at this time.Dear Axi, I am also scared and reluctant, but I don't want to ruin your beauty.The sad story is borne by two people, it will be more comfortable my hand subconsciously stroked my lower abdomen, and Gu Xi also instantly sensed my emotions, and he pursed his mouth except for grasping me even more, there was nothing else."
Don't be nervous, drink some water."
Su Zhiyang stood up helplessly, handed me a water glass, and silently retreated to the window and stopped looking at us.I lightly twitched the hand that I was holding and drank warm water in small sips in both hands.Gu Xi glanced at me and didn't say anything, just silently hugged my shoulders and didn't look at Su Zhiyang.He hated Su Zhiyang again, and since yesterday, everyone can see his indifference and dissatisfaction.Maybe for Gu Xi, he didn't think too much, but when he was thinking that it would be difficult to raise more children in the future, he had a trace of hesitation and complication.But in the end, he just wanted the girl he liked not to be sad, so he accepted it compromisedly and began to sincerely look forward to his birth.And Su Zhiyang's words, he saw my reluctance and compulsion, so he resented Su Zhiyang's approach, but he had to agree for me.You see, one thinks too simply, and the other is for the future of the two of them, and although the methods of dealing with it are different, they are both selfishly only thinking about me.Su Hanxi, you don't lose either, so, face it bravely" Is Ms.
Su Hanxi here, it's already your turn. ”I raised my head suddenly, and I could feel Gu Xi tremble unnaturally when he heard this title.I reluctantly smiled at Gu Xi, got up and said, "I'm here."
It's ironic that I'm still a student, but I've come to an end."
That's right, just now judging from the results of your examination, your physique can be said to be difficult to conceive, and you are finally pregnant now, if you beat it," the nurse looked at me, and stopped talking."
What will happen" Su Zhiyang frowned and turned around, and asked Miss Nurse coldly."
If this baby is beaten, you will not be able to conceive again.I didn't listen to the words of Miss Nurse anymore, but when I heard "I can't conceive again," I felt that the world I had worked so hard to rebuild began to crumble again.How dramatic it must be, God will be so happy to play tricks on me I finally made up my mind again, and now I am going to test me again When I was about to give birth to him, I learned that giving birth to a teenager who would ruin my love, and now I plan not to want him, and fate told me that after losing him, I can't have any more children, and the sentence "I can't conceive anymore" broke all my determination and courage.Now, can I still do without him, what should I do I looked at Su Zhiyang as if asking for help, hoping that the most sensible he would tell me how to choose now, but what I saw was that he, who had never touched tobacco since his mother's death, silently asked Gu Xi for a cigarette, and when the nurse frowned and was about to say something to stop it, he put the cigarette butt in his mouth, but did not light it, just held the cigarette so lonely, and looked at me in pain.My heart couldn't help but "chuckle", tears fell down my face and were extremely hot, and I regretted being pregnant with this child at this moment.When I was at a loss, Gu Xi grabbed my hand and said firmly and forcefully: "We won't fight this child, we will give birth" I subconsciously looked at Su Zhiyang, but he just glanced at me sadly, and then hurriedly turned his head away and didn't say anything.I looked at the big hand holding me in amazement, it was so warm and powerful.I looked up at Gu Xi, but saw that his eyes were full of tears, but he raised the corners of his mouth and smiled at me like before.The sea has waves, you have me.What Gu Xi wants to say at this moment must be this sentence, well, it must be this sentence.Gu Xi, I think I know what the decision I am going to make at this moment will be.I gently withdrew my hand, wiped away my tears, and said with a firm face: "Miss Nurse, it's okay, let's kill this child, I don't want it anymore."
I don't want the boy I love to be imprisoned in the deep sea by me, and since then he has no freedom and is no longer my hero.Su Hanxi, I was so stupid and selfish once, that's enough, this young man likes you so much, don't live up to his liking, and don't ruin him like you ruined Xu Cheng.If the child is gone, forget it, there is only one boy in the world, don't let him down, Gu Xi, I don't lie to you, I'm sad, but I don't want you to lose your original intention.Rest assured, all will be fine.Just like the original sea, the sky is blue, the sea breeze blows across the peninsula, and flowers bloom everywhere for ten miles.Taking a deep breath, I smiled at Gu Xi and followed Miss Nurse into the operating room.When I was lying on the operating table looking at the bright scalpels, I subconsciously became timid even though I had already made up my mind, and when I was thinking about it, I came back to my senses and saw the doctor frowning and walking over gently, and a slight sigh seemed to sound in my ears.I'm sorry I can't have you anymore I'm sad too, but I'm sorry I don't want to lose my crybaby hero even more.He will be the same as before, exactly the same, not about sorrow but joy.When I woke up, it was already dark, and when I looked up, I saw Gu Xi standing by the bedside with a tired face, holding my cold right hand tightly with one hand."
Are you awake, are you hungry?"
Gu Xi smiled at me far-fetchedly, and stretched out a hand to touch my face gently.I looked up at the potion bottle above my head, frowned, and said softly, "Gu Xi, I'm not feeling well.""
Good, I'll sing to you, and you won't feel bad for a while."
Gu Xi wiped away my tears in distress and clenched me more forcefully.I tugged at the corners of my mouth and laughed softly, and then I heard him humming softly about the song Worm Flying, but the sadness in those narrow peach blossom eyes was so real.When I finally saw him, I persuaded him not to cry, and he began to cry again.He lay on my stomach sadly, choked up and apologized in a choked voice: "Su Han, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Su Han" I pursed my lips uncomfortably, pulled out the hand he was holding, put it on his head and touched it one by one, crying and laughing, "Ah Xi, I don't blame you, I just want us to be fine."
At the end of summer this year, the cicadas are still chirping on the trees, and the cedar road full of tree shadows is ringing with the footsteps of this summer, and the sky is still clear and blue.At that time, there seemed to be only an old voice recorder beside me, and the voice of my own voice from a few years ago came from the past, accompanied by a heavy sigh in the "creaking" sound, and finally fell silent and helpless.Like a mayfly dream, I was still drunk in the dream, but I had already woken up in reality.At this time, the love we are chasing has lost its luster in this pale youth, as if letting the time traveler pick up everything, and I am still here, guarding a pale and powerless youth.The enemy is not the knife of reality, and no matter how hard you try, you will always be strong.Dear Axi, I hope that we will still be childish after many years, and our dreams will never grow old.The door was suddenly opened, I looked up and saw him walking in with a thermos flask, he smiled and said to me: "Go home and make some chicken soup for you, drink it while it's hot" I smiled and nodded, Gu Xi also wiped away his tears and sat up, but he didn't look at him coldly.I shook Gu Xi's hand and whispered, "Dad, sit down and rest."
Gu Xi looked at me in disbelief, then turned his head and looked at him with a complicated look at him putting the thermos on the table, but he closed his mouth and didn't say anything.Su Zhiyang raised the corners of his mouth helplessly, and said to Gu Xi: "Beixi, I know you resent me, but it doesn't matter, Uncle Su, I won't blame you."
You blame me, and you deserve it. ”"I'm really sorry for you two, too."
Su Zhiyang finally said.It's just the "I'm sorry" in this sentence, I don't think Gu Xi and I will know what he means to be sorry for us.But what we all knew to each other was that after he said this, all the resentment towards him began to fade.We never really resent him, we just put ourselves in the child's shoes and made excuses for our own cowardice, and we also know this.After so many years of paranoia and rebellion, I am used to blaming Su Zhiyang, blaming him for betraying his love for his mother, blaming him for not being able to stay by his mother's side in the end, blaming him for not attending my parent-teacher meeting for work, blaming him for not breaking off the relationship with that lover for so many years, and blaming him for his indulgence of me for so many years, allowing me to be rebellious and selfish.This is what I also know is that there may not be much right or wrong in these things, and I can't blame Su Zhiyang, just like he didn't blame me when he learned that I was pregnant.He just put himself in the shoes of a parent and told me what to do.He loves me, everyone can see that, and I'm glad that we were able to settle my old suspicions in the end, and I don't continue to be wrong anymore and I don't just think about myself.The bowl full of chicken soup seems to be full of the warmth of the room and the family affection that has been delayed for more than ten years at the moment when the ice cubes are dissolved.Su Zhiyang is my father
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