Maybe living here, a shotgun would be enough to face a polar bear or other beast, but Santa Claus went out and was almost instantly hit by four guns in the head.The standard posture of holding a gun in four hands is naturally Su Ming, and he is also the fastest.Although I don't know what the specific situation is, it is not wrong to have the advantage and the right to speak first.And the one who holds a gun in both hands like a black energetic group is naturally Wade, although his marksmanship is not as good as his cousin, but there is no reason to miss the target so closely.Ordinary people have a fear of guns, and ordinary people will also look at which side has more guns and which side has fewer guns.Guns are of little use to superheroes, but they have left an image of violence in people's hearts for many years, and they are synonymous with threat.Even if you can blow someone's head with a punch, putting your fist on someone's head is not as deterrent as a small-caliber pistol.Wade twisted his head to the place where no one was, and said very seriously: "Audience friends, at this moment, the muzzle of our gun is only one centimeter away from the old man's head, but I know that in the next second, this Santa Claus will definitely fall in love with me, and he will say three words to me, goose loves you, and if I have to add a deadline to this love, I think it should last until I shoot." ”Bang, this is the sound of Santa's shotgun landing, the moment he saw Deadpool and the death knell, it was as if he had lost his strength, and he did say three words, but it wasn't what Deadpool thought."
Kill me!"
That's what Santa Claus said, and he was going to grab Su Ming and Wade's guns, intending to pull the trigger for them.Wade pulled away with a series of small jumps, he put away his gun and sighed, still communicating with the non-existent audience: "I guessed the beginning, but I didn't guess the end, my sweetheart will be wearing a bikini and stepping on her feet" "Bang!
”Strangler quickly picked up the shotgun on the ground and blasted Deadpool away, while Su Ming himself countered Santa Claus with a single grappler and pushed him into the house.Peter glanced sympathetically at Deadpool in the snow, someone else must have had a fatal wound if their neck was broken, but not for Deadpool.I have to say that guns are also a good way to stop Wade's nonsense, so this sympathy is very limited, and Peter is still a little gloating, and his steps are a little excited to follow Deathstroke into the house.It was much warmer in the room, and Peter closed the door casually, and he had always had a good habit of closing the door.Throwing Santa Claus back on his couch, Su Ming also put away the gun, because he knew Santa's abilities in advance, and he had a plan.As a god and mutant, Santa Claus has some very strange abilities, such as teleporting into any chimney on Earth, being able to talk to reindeer, and being able to conjure candy canes with his bare hands.But now in the state of Santa Claus, he just doesn't want to live at all, and Su Ming has already judged that he is really drinking wine, and now the blood alcohol concentration should be above 20, which means that he is shaking when he walks."
Tell me, old man, how did you lose weight and succeed, and why did you seek death and life?"
Su Ming picked up a wine bottle and smelled it, inferior ouzo, this quality even the watchdog of Su Ming's own distillery didn't drink."
Is it too much weight loss?
Scammed by a personal trainer?
”Peter also had a big idea, he couldn't find a place to sit, he simply sat on the floor."
I'm damned, I'm going to destroy this world, kill me, I'm already a wreck."
Santa Claus cries at them, crying twice, and seeing that Death Knell doesn't react, he immediately targets Spider-Man."
Speak slowly, don't worry, I'll help you."
Peter was the most zealous, and he immediately promised to help."
My Christmas gift factory has been overrun, I can't even afford to eat, my wife has run away, Rudolph has run away, it's Christmas after midnight today, I don't have a single present, I'm a sinner."
Rudolph is the red-nosed reindeer, the one that acts as a headlight for the sled.Santa Claus told Peter about his problems very clearly, and then looked at him with little wink."
But you have wine to drink, isn't that rich?"
Peter pointed to the empty bottle, and when he entered the room, he could smell the wine."
You can't get enough of wine, and you can't imagine how much Rudolph's feed will cost a year."
Santa Claus digressed from the subject.Peter thought about it, it made sense, he had heard Iron Man say how much it costs a year to raise a pony, and reindeer should cost more.Before he could say anything more to Santa Claus, his arm and head sat on Santa's lap very naturally."
You're lucky this time, the best mercenary in the world is here, I'll negotiate a condition with you
.
"“？？？”
Santa Claus looked at the dead man's head, and then at the death knell walking around the room with his arms crossed, and he didn't understand.As we all know, talking about conditions is a death knell's behavioral habit, and Deadpool only recognizes US dollars, why has it changed today?"
Originally, a few children hired me to kill you, and they paid 50,000 dollars, but I think you are a good person, so you add another 10,000, and I will help you kill them."
Deadpool puts his head back, but has to hold it with his hand because the wound hasn't healed yet.That's right, Santa Claus's expression softened a bit."
Hey!"
Peter hit Deadpool, it's too dark, how can you kill a child?"
Well, don't kill them."
Wade waved his hand, but quietly handed Santa a business card and whispered, "Call afterwards." ”"I won't hurt the children, you can kill me, I don't want to live anymore."
Santa Claus closed his eyes, maybe because he had drunk too much, maybe because Deadpool had jumped into his arms just now, so he vomited Deadpool at this time.Deadpool stood up very calmly, instantly took off clean, and continued to solicit customers: "Let's not talk about that, if I help you recover your own factory, wife, reindeer, can you fulfill one of my wishes?"
”"Absolutely."
Santa Claus nodded affirmatively.Wade pulled out a new uniform from his blackened strawberry pants and put it on, then pulled a pen and paper from his uniform pocket to draft the contract, and although his handwriting was as ugly as chicken feet, the details of the contract were really unambiguous.After all, he is also a mercenary who has been a mercenary for so many years.After writing it, he handed the contract to Santa Claus, and then rubbed his hands together and waited expectantly for the other party to sign it.However, after seeing that Deadpool's wish was for Santa Claus to kill him, the old man put down the contract in despair and shook his head: "I'm sorry, I can't fulfill your wish, or you can make a wish for world peace?"
”"Can you do world peace?"
Peter's glasses widened, is this God?
Clinker Santa shook his head again: "I can't do it, because these conditions are all the same excessive, and I can't do any of them." ”Deadpool sighed, pulled out his pistol and prepared to kill Santa: "Then what's the use of me asking you for this waste, I'll choose $50,000." ”"Kill me, there will be no Christmas for the children of the whole world in the future, they will know that I died at your hands, congratulations, you are going to be famous."
Santa Claus stalks his neck and puts his head on the muzzle of the gun.Wade was stunned for a moment, and then gasped violently: "I hate it when people threaten me the most, do you think I don't dare to shoot?"
Do anyone else care about my bird business at Christmas?!
”"You shoot, what nonsense, if you don't dare to shoot, it's stinky shit!"
Santa Claus is drunk and not afraid of Deadpool at all."
I'll kill you!"
Deadpool breaks the pistol safe."
Hit, hit here, if you don't shoot, you're just as useless garbage as me."
Santa Claus had already seen that Wade was not going to shoot, and he slammed his head into the muzzle of the gun, leaving a red circle in the center of his eyebrows.Seeing that the noise was getting louder and louder, and the death knell not far away was still admiring the antiques in the house, Peter could only intervene himself, he shot spider silk, wrapped around Wade's pistol and snatched it down."
Wade, we'll help him, think about the children in the world."
He begins to convince Deadpool to volunteer to help.Deadpool was unmoved, he pulled out another gun: "You still don't understand, I knew that Santa Claus actually didn't exist since I was four years old when I lived in an orphanage, and now what we are talking to is only the embodiment of the cosmic imagination, you don't know what kind of existence is behind him, and he can do it with the trading conditions I proposed." ”"If he was really that strong, he himself could get back everything he had lost, have you ever thought about it?
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Now that he has fallen into this field, it shows that he is not omnipotent. ”Peter immediately snatched Deadpool's gun and pointed out the problem."
This makes some sense, okay, I won't kill him, but I will never work in vain, mercenaries must have a reward."
Wade thought for a moment, stood up and moved his neck: "Are you right, cousin?"
Mercenary wages cannot be in arrears. ”"Uh-huh."
Su Ming looked down near the fireplace and played with a strange statue, just fooling Wade's questions.The statue in his hand is a familiar image of an ancient god, a winged monster with the head of an octopus squatting on the base of a cube, eyes closed, and some words engraved on the base that no one knows.He's a little interested in it, and it's probably the most valuable thing Santa Claus has here.No wonder Santa Claus seems a little crazy, maybe it's the gadget's effect.Writing down the patterns and words on it, Su Ming quietly put the statue back in its place, this information may be understood by the secret keep, and she really needs to be strengthened as the lord of the hell border.Holding a Hell Plane in his hand is the key to Knell's ability to deter other Hell Lords.Regardless of whether this territory is directly or indirectly in the hands of Su Ming, with the territory of the Hell Attribute, it is possible to launch a war of annexation of the Hell Plane and completely destroy a certain Demon King.Su Ming is not comparable to the ancient one in terms of magic, and she can't use her strength to deter those restless guys, so she can only use the layout to gain an advantage.Specifically, it is to win over the secret and let the two Supreme Mages join forces.As of 1955, although the surface of the 40k Earth did not seem to have developed by leaps and bounds, in fact, its defense capabilities against other dimensions, other planes, and even parallel worlds were even higher than during the time of the Ancient One.Just when Su Ming was checking other things, Deadpool and Spider-Man's mouth cannons were almost the same, Wade was just hard-mouthed, he couldn't let the children all over the world go without Christmas gifts in the future.Don't think it's Deadpool's conscience or humanity, though, but because of something else.In Deadpool's opinion, if there is a scene of killing a child or killing Santa Claus in the movie, it should be properly rated R18 or above.But what he wants is to strive for a G13 rating, which is related to the number of audiences and popularity."
Well, if you're willing to give me free mints for life, we're done."
Wade tentatively held out his hand to Santa Claus.The old man squeezed his hand and shook it up and down with a smile, as if he was afraid that Wade would regret it.