"Wade Wilson, Deadpool Gundam, attack!"
He didn't know what dirt was possessing him, and he first uttered lines of shame in his mouth, and then imitated the sound of 'Xiu Xiu' flying, and rushed out of cover on two legs.The river was still so calm, and Wade ran and jumped into it, intending to wade through it.In an ideal plan, he would give the bear the middle finger, and the other party would be very angry and would rush at him.If both sides are running, they should meet in the middle of the river, and when the time comes, the blood and internal organs in the bear's stomach will be carried away by the running water, and their new clothes will not be stained.Perfect plan.It's just that without the gem of plot rationality, many things will not be transferred by his subjective consciousness."
Rush!
Kill!
With a dagger in his right hand and his middle finger in his left hand, he shouted and rushed across the river before sinking.The river was much deeper than he had imagined, and it went directly above his head, leaving only a string of bubbles from the bear on the other side of the river scratching its ears, turning its head to look at this side, and a pair of eyes revealed a bewildered look, it seemed to have heard something just now, and felt an inexplicable anger.But when you turn around, why didn't you pinch anything?
Forget it, let's take a look at these fish, and pick a fatter one.Su Ming, who was still hiding in the bushes behind Wade, sighed, he knew that his cousin would be like this, but it didn't matter, it was okay to run over from the bottom of the river, anyway, diving and swimming were also compulsory courses for mercenaries.But will Deadpool really be what he thinks?
In fact, it will not be the same, but in the middle of the river, Wade came out of the water, and he struck a Marilyn Monroe classic pose, dancing the water ballet like a hibiscus out of the water.One moment his upper body twisted back and forth in the water, and the other time he rotated and kicked his legs back and forth in the water, even through the red and black mask, you could see him with a smirk like a professional athlete on his face."
Wade?"
Su Ming tilted his head and screamed, feeling so tired."
Oh!"
The cousin actually heard it, and as if he suddenly remembered his current task, he began to swim towards the brown bear.As he climbed up to the opposite bank with a dagger in his hand, he shook his butt like a wild dog to shake off the water stains, and the droplets of water in the sunlight formed a rainbow.But the brown bear did not cooperate at all, and instead of rushing at him, it stood up vigilantly.This is the case with wild animals, many species will stand upright to increase the visual cross-sectional area and make themselves appear larger, which can scare off many enemies.Deadpool had been cleanly washed last night, but as the night passed, his rotting body was scented again.Bears generally have a super sensitive sense of smell, and polar bears are among the best, with a sense of smell seven times that of dogs, and can smell blood from up to 10 kilometers away in a complex environment of wind and snow, while North American brown bears are also not bad, can smell the sweetness of honey from three kilometers away.A brown bear preparing to eat meets Deadpool, can he get this thing close to him?
Seeing that the brown bear did not move, Wade had no intention of changing his plan, anyway, according to the theory of relativity, as long as he accelerated, it was equivalent to the other party slowing down.So Deadpool charged, sliding a shovel across the gravel beach, and slashed the man's balls off with a single blow as he slipped between the brown bear's upright legs."
Whew!!"
The woods were crowded with birds, and the injured frenzied brown bears were fighting with damned humans.The next second, flesh and blood are flying.The end result was good, Wade was torn off two arms, but he still stabbed the dagger through the brown bear's mouth with both feet, destroying the brain and killing it.Sniffing the stench of beasts, he joked to himself with the non-existent audience, rolled over against the bear's carcass, and tried to fight it back again with his foot between his arms.Su Ming came over to help him, used the stapler on his shoulders a few times, and helped fix the fallen arms.Deadpool's self-healing speed is also a joke, sometimes he heals super fast, and he can fight while allowing the enemy to pull his arms off one by one.But sometimes the self-healing is very slow, and it takes two or three days for the broken arm to grow.The devil knows why, it may have something to do with his own mood."
It's not bad, at least the self-healing ability is playing well."
Wade stood up and tried to move his arm, and everything was fine except for a slight bleeding from the squeaky pit.He took out the dagger from the bear's mouth and put it away, put his hands on his waist in a cow beer posture, and stepped on the bear's head: "Cousin, take a picture for me, I'll go back and tell Vanessa, I can't show her." ”As he spoke, he wilted again, although he was not dead, but now this person is not a ghost or a ghost, how can he go back to see her?
What if she sees me as I am and doesn't love me anymore?
’But the cousin seemed to have been prepared, and he threw away the stapler that he had just helped him nail his arm: "It's very simple, let's go to Margaret's Bar first, you go there to get the surveillance video, find a photo of your handsome beauty in the past, print it, and nail it to your forehead." ”"Great idea!"
Wade's eyes lit up instantly, and he slashed off one of the brown bear's legs with a knife in his hand, and resisted it on his shoulder: "What are we waiting for?"
I know a nice cobbler in New York, and I'll give him this leg to make a leather panty to wear next time I swim. ”When they arrived at Sister Margaret's bar, it was surprisingly evening, and Wade had lost too much time at the cobbler's place, because the other party said that tanning leather would take time, and Wade kept talking.After leaving the leather shop, the brothers went to Ave's house again, and Wade told the old black blind lady about what had happened to him recently, and asked her to help him inquire about a pervert named Francis if he knew someone on the road.Afu is actually quite enthusiastic, especially after knowing that the person who followed Wade is the death knell, she began to inquire about Captain America, and took out her treasured 'white noodles' and asked him to suck it.Su Ming doesn't touch those things, as a tactician, he needs to keep his head clear at all times, and things like narcotics and hallucinogens are resolutely not played.After eating popcorn for a while in the basement, Wade took out a game console and plugged it into the TV to play, saying that he had a dream since he was a child, which was to play games with his loved ones.Seeing that he was so pitiful, Su Ming played a tank battle with him for an afternoon, and after nightfall, the two ate microwave bear legs and came to the bar.When he opened the door, Wade found that the atmosphere was different from the past, and the arrogant mercenaries actually made way for him.Whoever he looks, the other party always keeps his head down and dodges.At the beginning, he also listened to the rumors in the live broadcast room, thinking that he really had some kind of tiger body shock, domineering side leakage ability, what is called overlord color domineering.But later it turned out that these people were not afraid of him, but afraid of the death knell walking beside him.The black and yellow armor has never had one owner, not even anyone who dares to pretend to be, and anyone is afraid of the legends among mercenaries.After all, what kind of business is respecting the old and loving the young, every successful mercenary is a star who is held up by other people's flesh and blood.When he came to the bar, the weasel shrank in a corner and shivered, muttering 'You can't see me, you can't see me.' ’But Wade leaned on the bar counter, grabbed his collar, pulled the person out, and sat on the bar stool in the same posture as a squatting horse, the corners of his mouth crooked, and smiled proudly: "Guess who I am?"
”"Wade?
I can hear your slut's voice even if it's flushed down the drain, alas, you're hurting me," the weasel was stunned for a moment, then smiled wryly and spat out bitterness.